Shrimp Etouffee

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The E! Oscar pre-show was so painful. Like, how did Khloe Kardashian get past security? She is woefully under-qualified to even be in attendance.

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To exacerbate the obvious problems, they give her a microphone. She immediately bashed Anna Kendrick’s dress & I immediately had steam coming out of my ears. You don’t bash Anna Kendrick, Khloe, Anna Kendrick bashes you. GOODBYE!

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I am convinced my friends & I would be a far more entertaining panel. Phrases we’d overuse to describe outfits & stars: DEAD, DYING, I CAN’T, IS THIS REAL LIFE, CAN’T BREATH, ON THE FLOOR, KILL ME.

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We would just be so positive & uplifting about everyone. We’d also be funnier & more articulate than the babbling fools they currently have.

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Call us, E! We’re cute & will work for cheap. Also, I’ll feed you this.


Time: 1 hour | Serves: 2-3


  • 1 lb. of shrimp, peeled + deveined + tails off
  • 6 tbsp. of butter + 2 more
  • 3 tbsp. of flour
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 6 celery stalks, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 cups of vegetable broth
  • 1 can of fire roasted diced tomatoes
  • 2 tbsp. of Worcestershire
  • 1 tbsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of creole seasoning
  • 1/2 tsp. of rosemary
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • Italian parsley, serving
  • S+P, to taste
  • Brown rice, for serving

How to:

  • Heat the 6 tbsp. of butter in a large skillet over medium heat
  • Whisk in flour to create a roux
  • Add onion + red pepper + celery + S+P, cook for 6-8 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add broth + tomatoes + Worcestershire + hot sauce + creole seasoning + rosemary, bring to a simmer + cook for 10-12 minutes
  • Add shrimp + cook until pink, about 5 minutes
  • Stir in lemon juice + the rest of the butter + S+P
  • Serve with brown rice + sprinkle with parsley
  • Set a timer + see how long it takes for you to devour all

Adapted from:



10 thoughts on “Shrimp Etouffee

  1. Dana Fashina says:

    Lol @ “GOODBYE!’
    I inherently know there was some hand motion going on as you said this.
    I didn’t watch any of it. I was so bored with the Oscars (AND Grammys) last year that by the time I realized it was on, Family Guy was also on and the decision of which to watch became immediately obvious.
    This Etouffee is bomb though.
    Don’t forget that word in your E! reviews 🙂


    • Rachel says:

      This year was a snooze fest, too. Neil Patrick Harris was like 8 beats behind all night. Lady Gaga was the best part of the evening & I never thought those words would come out of my mouth….


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