Peanut Butter Cauliflower Stir Fry

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That moment when you look at your bank account & see someone has spent $800 at a Target in Illinois.

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God has blessed me with the crazy obsession that is checking our bank accounts. I know how much is in each account down to the penny. It’s a gift, really.

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So when I logged on yesterday morning to see that we were $800 light, my mind began to race. First, I blame Garr. “IS HE SURPRISING ME WITH ADELE TIX?!” Then, I blame responsibilities. “Did we use $800 worth of electricity this month?!” Finally, I come to the truth. A sad woman in Illinois (let’s call her Tammy) went all willy nilly in the Tarjay on my dime.

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I’m not even that upset anymore – I’m getting my money back. I’m mostly just impressed. I have dropped absolute stacks in that establishment, but I have never come close to an $800 tab. Tammy, if you’re out there, how did you do it? How many carts does $800 worth of crap fill? Did you get a new wardrobe on top of all of the televisions I’m certain you purchased? Did you at least get some bargains? I’m trying to get a visual here.

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Tammy, if you weren’t such a troll for stealing people’s money, we might actually make a good team.




Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5


  • 2 packages of frozen cauliflower
  • 1 package of frozen broccoli
  • 1 red pepper, sliced
  • Half a head of cabbage, sliced thin
  • 1 package of frozen edamame
  • 3 tbsp. of peanut butter
  • 1/4 cup of almond milk
  • 1/4 cup of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp. of ground ginger
  • 1 tbsp. of sriracha
  • 1 tbsp. of honey
  • 1 tbsp. of red wine vinegar
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Peanuts, for serving
  • Rice, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange cauliflower on a lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with olive oil + S+P, roast for 20-25 minutes
  • In a bowl, combine peanut butter + almond milk + soy sauce + garlic + ginger + sriracha + honey + vinegar + S+P
  • Heat other tbsp. of olive oil in a big skillet over med/high heat
  • Add broccoli + red pepper + S+P, cook for 3 minutes
  • Add cauliflower + edamame + cabbage + peanut butter dressing, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Serve hot over rice + with peanuts
  • Eat as much as your gut will allow + then heat the rest up for lunch the next day + physically rub it in your coworkers faces



19 thoughts on “Peanut Butter Cauliflower Stir Fry

  1. Junior Loinman says:

    Love the stories but keep wondering when you’re gonna break out the KOBE, cause there ain’t no way I’m eating frozen cauliflower…..


  2. Down-Home Damsel says:

    Target is my favorite place to shop…so much that when I go grocery shopping there I have to talk to myself to stay on one side of the store so I don’t buy any clothes or shoes OR decor. Good lord though, that woman sure did some damage on your account! Love the recipe too 🙂


  3. captainwoods says:

    Hopefully you didn’t have to pay the bill. Credit card fraud is usually easy to get out of, when you’re not committing it yourself of course… heh heh… As for this recipe, it is totally on my list to make. Looks delicious!!


  4. Debbie Spivey says:

    I want to try this stir-fry. Cauliflower is my new friend! Sorry you got hacked. That has happened to my husbands bank card 3-5 times now. Of course, we got the money back but it totaled up to be some thing like $1500-$2000 stolen. Fortunately, the bank shot him a text with a number to call. They caught all compromises. Why must people do this?!?!


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