That moment when you look at your bank account & see someone has spent $800 at a Target in Illinois.
God has blessed me with the crazy obsession that is checking our bank accounts. I know how much is in each account down to the penny. It’s a gift, really.
So when I logged on yesterday morning to see that we were $800 light, my mind began to race. First, I blame Garr. “IS HE SURPRISING ME WITH ADELE TIX?!” Then, I blame responsibilities. “Did we use $800 worth of electricity this month?!” Finally, I come to the truth. A sad woman in Illinois (let’s call her Tammy) went all willy nilly in the Tarjay on my dime.
I’m not even that upset anymore – I’m getting my money back. I’m mostly just impressed. I have dropped absolute stacks in that establishment, but I have never come close to an $800 tab. Tammy, if you’re out there, how did you do it? How many carts does $800 worth of crap fill? Did you get a new wardrobe on top of all of the televisions I’m certain you purchased? Did you at least get some bargains? I’m trying to get a visual here.
Tammy, if you weren’t such a troll for stealing people’s money, we might actually make a good team.
Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5
- 2 packages of frozen cauliflower
- 1 package of frozen broccoli
- 1 red pepper, sliced
- Half a head of cabbage, sliced thin
- 1 package of frozen edamame
- 3 tbsp. of peanut butter
- 1/4 cup of almond milk
- 1/4 cup of soy sauce
- 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
- 1 tsp. of ground ginger
- 1 tbsp. of sriracha
- 1 tbsp. of honey
- 1 tbsp. of red wine vinegar
- 2 tbsp. of olive oil
- S+P, to taste
- Peanuts, for serving
- Rice, for serving
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees
- Arrange cauliflower on a lined baking sheet
- Drizzle with olive oil + S+P, roast for 20-25 minutes
- In a bowl, combine peanut butter + almond milk + soy sauce + garlic + ginger + sriracha + honey + vinegar + S+P
- Heat other tbsp. of olive oil in a big skillet over med/high heat
- Add broccoli + red pepper + S+P, cook for 3 minutes
- Add cauliflower + edamame + cabbage + peanut butter dressing, cook for 3-4 minutes
- Serve hot over rice + with peanuts
- Eat as much as your gut will allow + then heat the rest up for lunch the next day + physically rub it in your coworkers faces