Broccoli + Cauliflower Tots

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What do you do when your face starts producing enough oil for you to open a Waffle House?

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Asking for a friend.

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My friend, let’s call her Smachel, is a nice girl. She just tries to work hard & stay out of the way. She’s wholesome & kind. Why must this curse befall her?

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Y’all know those blue, Clean & Clear grease wipes? Like, you swipe one across your face & it removes the excess oil? Yeah, hers end up being see-through and she’s up to two-a-days now. It’s not OK. Some lil old ladies keep dirty Kleenex in their handbags, but Smachel is going to be looking for her checkbook amidst a sea of oily grease wipes if this madness doesn’t stop.

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Smachel & I thank you for your understanding during this difficult time.



Time: 50 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 16 tots


  • 1 cup of frozen broccoli
  • 1 cup of frozen cauliflower
  • 1/2 cup of panko breadcrumbs
  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Place broccoli + cauliflower in a bowl + cover with water
  • Microwave for 3-4 minutes
  • Once cool, drain the water + excess water from veggies
  • Add veggies to a food processor and pulse until chopped
  • In a bowl, combine veggies + breadcrumbs + egg + parmesan + red pepper + S+P
  • Form into lil tot nuggets + arrange on a lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with olive oil + bake for 15 minutes
  • Flip tots + bake another 10 minutes
  • Serve hot with your favie sauce
  • Juggle tots until they all land on the floor + you must eat them off of the ground

15 thoughts on “Broccoli + Cauliflower Tots

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