The manager of a Memphis-area Target is trying to kill me.

Here is my hypothesis: Target hires a new manager. He/she starts on day one and is asked to share his phone number with his employees. He obliges. His phone number is in the hands of dozens, maybe a hundred Target employees.

The kicker: he gave them MY phone number.

For the past three days I have had approximately 11 Target employees call me to tell me why they will either be late to work or why they can’t come in. One young woman called me in a panic, assuring me her uniform was on and she was leaving a Wal-Mart to head to work. I know these details because even after telling her 6 times she had the wrong number, she continued to speak.

If she calls me back, I’m firing her for supporting the competition.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 bowls

Ingredients:

• 1 bunch of asparagus, washed + ends trimmed
• 1 bunch of broccolini, washed + ends trimmed
• 1/2 lb. of brussels sprouts, peeled + halved
• 1 head of cauliflower, washed + cut in florets
• 1 package of frozen edamame, cooked to package directions
• 1 avocado
• 2 tbsp. of cilantro, chopped
• Juice of 1/2 a lime
• 4 tbsp. of olive oil
• 4 eggs
• 1 tbsp. of white vinegar
• S+P, to taste

How to:

• Preheat oven to 425 degrees
• Arrange asparagus on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
• On another lined baking sheet, arrange broccolini + brussels sprout, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
• On a third lined baking sheet, arrange cauliflower, drizzle with one tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
• Place these in the oven together with asparagus on top, then broccolini + brussels sprouts, finally cauliflower
• Roast asparagus for 15 minutes, remove
• Roast broccolini + brussels sprouts for 20, remove
• Roast cauliflower for 25, remove
• Meanwhile, combine 1/2 of an avocado + lime juice + cilantro + remaining olive oil + S+P, mix well
• Bring a pot of water with the vinegar to a slow boil
• Crack an egg into a lil ramekin
• Make a lil whirlpool in the water + drop the egg gently in the center
• Poach for 3 minutes, remove with a slotted spoon onto a paper towel lined plate
• Repeat with remaining eggs
• To make a bowl, combine some asparagus + some broccolini + some sprouts + some cauliflower + some avocado slices + some edamame + some of the avocado dressing + a poached egg + S+P
• Repeat with remaining ingredients
• Serve hot
• Might want a knife to help cut broccolini + asaparagus, meaning a plate would be easier, but research shows eating out of a bowl makes you happier so suck it up + eat out of the bowl