Vegan Kale + Squash Pesto Pizza

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I’m working on an exposé.

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About the people we become in airports.

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This is going to be hard-hitting journalism, people.

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A taste of the full piece: some of us become germaphobes and wipe down our armrests and tray tables with Clorox wipes (this is what I strive to be). Some of us put on suits and compare diamond elite status and frequent flyer miles with one another. Some actually walk through the airport in heels and, while we look amazing doing this, our pinky toes temporarily fall off of our feet (also strive to this because pain is beauty). Occasionally, we roll out of bed and rock the latest sleepy pant fashion and pretend we do not have a care in the world. Sometimes we become complainers and comment on everything from the refreshment selection to the safety precaution presentation the airlines make to KEEP US ALIVE AS WE FLY THROUGH SPACE.

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My favorite, though, are those who become shoe-taker-offers. How bold!

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza

Ingredients:

  • 1 whole wheat pizza dough (me gusta Trader Joe’s)
  • 1 bunch of kale, washed + removed from the stem + chopped
  • 1 zucchini, sliced thin
  • 1 yellow squash, sliced thin
  • 2 cups of fresh basil
  • 1/4 cup of walnuts
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 300 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine basil + walnuts + garlic + lemon juice + 1/2 the nutritional yeast + some S+P, process on low + drizzle in 2 tbsp. olive oil + some water to thin it
  • In a bowl, combine kale + 1 tbsp. of olive oil, massage well
  • Toss remaining nutritional yeast + garlic powder + onion powder + chili powder + S+P into the kale bowl
  • Arrange on a lined baking sheet, bake for 10 minutes, toss + bake another 10, remove + set aside
  • Up the heat to 350
  • Arrange zucchini + squash on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with remaining olive oil + S+P, roast for 15 minutes
  • Stretch yo dough, spread lots of pesto + top with roasted squash
  • Bake for 8 minutes
  • Top with kale chips + serve warm
  • Fold pizza in half like a taco to double the amount you can cram in your piehole at once

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Vegan Kale + Squash Pesto Pizza

  1. Junior Loinman says:

    After seeing this, this, ‘pizza’, as your father I must ask myself, I say, Junior, where the hell did you go wrong with that girl?

    It’s a good thing you’re cute and kinda witty since these vegan recipes appeal to a very small slice of humanity.

    For more tough love moving forward go ahead, post more UN HOLY meals.

    Like

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