Tempeh + Brussels Sprout Hash


Chapter 47 of my memoir will go something like this:


I once had a red eye flight canceled when I was three hours from home.


Famished and delirious, I take my place in line behind my fellow disgruntled passengers. I’m calm, cool, collected (must have been the sleep deprivation) and eavesdropping on peeps trying to figure out their plans.


A bunch of bruhs are renting cars, and I’m like man that’s genius, but lemme try and hop on this 5 am flight. Get up to the counter and obvio the 5 am is booked. I’m like k will you pay for a rental car and they’re like nah it’s a liability. I’m like k what flight can I get on and they’re like the 11:30 – 12 HOURS FROM NOW. I’m thinking madam you’re about to have a liability on your hands cause I’m gonna go ham! *Deep breath* As I contemplate my choices that led me to this moment, I hear a young man offering rides in his rental. I look up to the sky and pray, “Lord Jesus, please don’t let me end up on an episode of Dateline and if I do, at least guide my mother to use some pretty pictures of me” and I yell to this dude, “I’m going with you!”


Shouts to Justin and Kristian for being the trillest, least creepy stranger dudes on planet earth. And for providing me your last names so my mother could google you and find out all of your personal information in case you tried to kidnap me.


Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3


  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, quartered
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 red pepper, chopped
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • 1 lime, for serving
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh + S+P, brown for 4-5 minutes, put on a plate
  • Add remaining olive oil + onion, cook 2-3 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook 1 minute
  • Add brussels sprouts + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes or until starting to brown
  • Add red pepper + jalapeno + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add black beans + S+P, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Turn off heat + add tempeh
  • Serve hot with avocado + cilantro + a lime wedge
  • Set yourself up for success by shooing all parties out of your home + eating this straight out of the plan while you binge watch Gossip Girl

8 thoughts on “Tempeh + Brussels Sprout Hash

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