Working from home has afforded me the opportunity to really get to know my neighbors.

From afar. I’ve never introduced myself to any of them – far too shy and they’d all hate me, I’m sure.

So I was really happy for my neighbor when she got a new car last week. What an exciting time!

A couple of days later I noticed the car was a different color. I sat on this for a while and thought: A) they painted it B) they traded it in for a different color C) I’m out of my mind and it was always light gray not dark gray. Finally, I realize I haven’t seen the husband’s car in a while. Interesting. What a mystery. Until I look out the window one morning, and there in the driveway sit two, IDENTICAL, brand new cars – one light gray, one dark gray. They got matching cars! Within days of each other!!! I’m not judging here, I’ve just never seen this before! A couple of additional theories: A) Their love is on another level & they thoroughly enjoy matching B) They got a 2-for-1 deal 3) They are doomsday preppers and it’s more economical to stock up on identical car parts.

Moral of the story: I need a life.

 

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

Tots-

• 1 head of cauliflower, cleaned + chopped into florets
• 1 cup of panko breadcrumbs
• 1/2 a yellow onion, chopped
• 3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
• 2 tbsp. of ground flaxseed meal
• 2 tbsp. of cilantro
• 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
• S+P, to taste
• Vegan butter, for coating your baking sheet

Chili-

• 1 yellow onion, diced
• 1 jalapeno, diced
• 1 red bell pepper, diced
• 1 cup of cooked lentils
• 1 cup of cooked red beans
• 3 tbsp. of garlic, minced
• 1 tbsp. of chili powder
• 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
• 1 tsp. of cumin
• 1 tsp. of oregano
• 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
• 1 can of diced tomatoes
• 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
• 2 tsp. of apple cider vinegar
• 2 tbsp. of sriracha
• 1 tbsp. of olive oil
• S+P, to taste

Cheese-

• 1/4 cup of cashews, soaked in water overnight + rinsed before using
• 1 russet potato, chopped
• 1 carrot, chopped
• 3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
• Juice of 1/2 a lemon
• 1/2 tsp. of white wine vinegar
• 1 tbsp. of sriracha
• 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
• 2 tbsp. of olive oil
• 1/4 cup of water
• S+P, to taste

Toppings-

• Cilantro
• Tomatoes

How to:

• To make the cheese, add potato + carrot to a pot + cover with water
• Bring to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes
• Add the drained potato + carrot + all other cheese ingredients to a food processor
• Combine until smooth + drizzleable (new word), set aside
• Now, preheat oven to 400 degrees + grease baking sheet with vegan butter
• Add cauliflower to a food processor, pulse until riced
• Add remaining tot ingredients (except the butter), + pulse until all combined
• Scoop out a lil with a cookie scoop + form into tots, arrange on baking sheet
• Bake these lil guys for 10 minutes, turn over + bake another 10 minutes
• While tots bake, make your chili!
• Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
• Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
• Add garlic, cook another minute
• Add jalapeno + red pepper + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
• Add chili powder + smoked paprika + cumin + oregano + crushed red pepper + S+P
• Add diced tomatoes + bring to a simmer
• Add tomato paste + lentils + red beans, smash with the back of a fork
• Add vinegar + sriracha, cook another 10 minutes
• To serve, arrange your tots in a dish + top with chili + cheese + more tots + top with cilantro + tomatoes
• Pretend you are at a drive-in wearing your sweatpants + listening to some early 2000’s top hits while stuffing your face with this

 

Chili + cheese from Oh She Glows! Tots adapted from here!