5-Spice Fried Cauli Rice


I’m into dreaming medium.


Dreaming big is for hopeless romantics and lunatics. Dreaming medium is my comfort zone.


A medium dream of mine has come true: I now work in a cafe.


On Sundays at church as a volunteer, but it COUNTS! I am finally working around food!! Store-bought donuts and muffins are my specialty. “Might I recommend the blueberry cake?” The best is that Garr and I get to do it together. We’ve decided he’ll sling the lattes and I’ll interact with the customers and fetch their treats. The seasoned folks training us asking 18 times, “Do you like this job? I really hope you do…!” I honestly don’t think they believed me when I exclaimed, “YOU HAVE NO IDEA, I LOVE THIS, THIS IS ACTUALLY ONE OF MY DREAMS.” I was met with several, “Mmm.. Ok.. sure…..” responses.


Eventually, I will convince them to allow me to use the church body as my personal taste testers.


Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6


  • 1 head of cauliflower, riced (I left a few lil cauli chunks in there for a bit of texture)
  • 1 cup of carrots, shredded
  • 1 can of baby corn, drained
  • 1 can of water chestnuts, drained
  • 1 cup of frozen peas, thawed
  • 4 green onion, sliced thin
  • 1/4 cup of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of rice vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of sriracha
  • 1 tsp. of Chinese 5-spice seasoning
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic
  • 2 tbsp. of sesame oil

How to:

  • In a wok, heat 1 tbsp. of sesame oil over medium heat
  • Add green onion + carrots + corn + water chestnuts, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute, remove from pan
  • Heat remaining oil, add cauliflower, cook 6-7 minutes
  • Add 5-spice, cook another minute
  • Meanwhile, mix soy sauce + rice vinegar + Sriracha in a lil bowl
  • Add sauce to cauli rice, mix well
  • Add veggies + peas, cook another 2-3 minutes until the peas are warmed through
  • Serve hot with more green onion + soy sauce + sriracha, if your heart desires
  • Pick out all baby corns + give sweetie wet willies with them, then trash them, no one wants an ear wax baby corn

16 thoughts on “5-Spice Fried Cauli Rice

  1. Junior Loinman says:

    I don’t get it. Why not leave out the nasty cauliflower (nobody in their right mind really likes it anyway) and simply use rice? Rice is vegan isn’t it? I see rice vinegar in the recipe for example. So yeah, make it with rice. And throw some chicken and shrimps in there so I might enjoy it!!


  2. Hungry Breton (Franck) says:

    The best human adventure that is to work in a cafΓ© ( or a cheese shop)… You get to see all the quirks of mankind, the ugly to the beautiful. After 10 years, you are like on the same level as a qualified psycho-therapist, trust me… I am also working on a cauliflower recipe, I’ll post it at the weekend, just to piss Junior Loinman off up there! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

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