I wish I was 13 years old again and my greatest joy in life was learning a new cheat code in The Sims.
I wasn’t a cool 13-year-old, OK?
If I could calculate it, I’d likely discover I spent the better part of my adolescence behind a giant Dell computer screen making fictional families comprised of me, my school crushes and lots of children with my favorite names at the time – Juliet, Katarina, Trevor, etc.
I’d build extravagant houses and paint all of the walls hot pink and lime green and fill the backyard with like 6 hot tubs. My character’s career path was ALWAYS music and I mastered the guitar in like 3 days and painted in my spare time. I always made my husband (better known as my 7th grade flavor of the week) a doctor and when, in real life, I decided I was totally over him and/or he got a girlfriend (more likely the case), I would make him cheat on me in the game so I could slap him and kick him out. Learning healthy relationship skills from the jump.
The best was when I’d get bored with a family so I’d put them all in the house, remove the doors and watch them go nuts.
Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza
Ingredients:
- 2 lbs of figs, ends trimmed + sliced thin
- 1 1/2 cup of sugar
- 1/2 cup of lemon juice
- 1 pizza crust
- 2 cups of arugula
- 1 onion, sliced thin
- 1 tbsp. of olive oil
- S+P, to taste
How to:
- In a bowl, combine figs + sugar, coat + let sit for 15 minutes, stirring occassionally
- Transfer figs to a pot + add lemon juice + 1 cup of water, bring to a boil
- Turn heat down a bit, let simmer for 40-45 minutes, until jam is sticky + runny to your desire
- If you want chunks, leave as is, if not, turn off heat + blend with an immersion blender
- Transfer to a mason jar + refrigerate
- Meanwhile, preheat oven to 400 + heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
- Add onion slice + S+P, let caramelize for 8-10 minutes, remove from pan
- On a pizza crust, spread some jam + top with onion
- Bake for 10 minutes or until crisp to your desire
- Top with arugula + serve warm
- Put a slice atop your head + run into the streets chanting “I gotta pizza on my head, but don’t call me a pizza head”
Fig jam adapted from here!
Whoa! πππ
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SO GOOD!
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LOL! You always crack me up!
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My only goal in life has been achieved!
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My daughters are all the same age-ish as you. I encouraged the Sims. It made me feel less of a bad mother than Grand Theft Auto …..
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Exactly! I could have been running the streets or gambling or something. Instead I just murdered computer game characters.
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OMG speaking of!! Have you seen this show on Netflix about extravagent homes?!!??
It’s called Amazing Interiors, you’ve GOT to see it boo, talk about your dreams laid out in real life!!
Pizza looks right up my non-dairy having ass alley!!!
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Literally someone JUST mentioned this to me! It’s fate – I’ve got to check it out. & dude I know, right?! Cheese on pizza is so 2017.
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