Do you ever have those times in life when so much is happening at once and if you don’t laugh at all of the things going wrong you will actually crumple into a ball and completely lose your mind?

Hi, it me.

Ya girl has been in and out of the hospital over the last two weeks with appointments and tests and a big barrel of melodrama. All is fine but I can say with great confidence which hospital restrooms reign supreme – first floor second set on the left – and there is popcorn on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

The off-brand maraschino cherry on top of my radical few weeks: On the way to my most recent appointment, I’m cruising along, listening to some good tuneage, daydreaming about my to-do list when BAH BOOM pot hole. I hit that thing so hard it about knocked me into a tree. I’m swerving trying to get my act together when I hear this heinous sound. I pull over just to catch my breath and look at the car. What do ya know? I successfully popped a tire! Being the modern woman I am, I have always MEANT to learn how to change my own tire, but for some reason, kept finding 8 million better things to do with my time. So there I sat. Waiting for my knight in overalls to show up in his steed of a pickup truck.

I still can’t decide if I’m uber grateful or disappointed not one person stopped and offered to help. Am I that off putting even from afar?

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

• 2 cups of uncooked black eyed peas (soaked overnight)
• 1/2 red onion, diced
• 1 red pepper, diced
• 1 green pepper, diced
• 1 serrano pepper, sliced thin
• 1 cup of cherry tomatoes, halved
• 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped
• 1/2 cup of flax milk (or other non-dairy milk)
• 2 tbsp. of lemon juice
• 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
• 1 tbsp. of agave
• 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
• 2 chipotles in adobo + 1 tbsp. of the adobo sauce
• 1 tbsp. of olive oil
• 1 tsp. of cumin
• 1 lime
• S+P, to taste

How to:

• Rinse soaked beans + add to a pot
• Fill with water + bring to a boil, cook for 25-30 minutes
• In a large bowl, combine onion + peppers + tomatoes + cilantro + S+P, set aside
• Meanwhile, in a food processor, combine milk + lemon juice + apple cider vinegar + agave + garlic + chipotles + adobo sauce + olive oil + cumin + a lil S+P, process until smooth + runny like a dressing
• Drain peas + add to veggie bowl + top with dressing (or let peeps serve themselves) + squeeze lime juice over
• Serve warm or cold, whatever your prerogative baby
• Use mouth as vacuum to suck all of this up