Pretty sure I live in an alternate universe.

And/or a North Carolina suburb with really well-behaved, respectful children. Either or.

Garrett & I were the kewl house on the block last night. Ya know, the kind that leave out the giant bowl full of name-brand candy with no passive aggressive sign saying to please only take two pieces.

We’re jazzed, man. Some little kid is going to have the Halloween of his life because he can take this bowl and dump it directly into his pillow sack and brag to all his friends that he got 89 mini Snickers from the kewl couple down the street. Garr and I go out and enjoy an evening with pals. We get home prepared to find an empty bowl, maybe catch a glimpse of a stray toddler dressed as a little cowboy, I don’t know. The bowl is UNTOUCHED. Not a single grubby mitt has been placed upon these Skittles. How can this be? We left the light on and everything! The front porch was decorated with pumpkins and mums! Mums, I tell you!!!! It’s an inviting porch! I was devastated. Questioning every decision. The Starburst were too wild, weren’t they??

Now we are stuck with all of this candy and cannot decide whether to pitch it or throw it at passing cars.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 lil steaks

Ingredients:

• 2 heads of broccoli, carefully halved
• Juice of 1 lime
• 2 tbsp. of chili powder
• 1 tsp. of cumin
• 1/2 tsp. of cayenne pepper
• 1/2 tsp. of garlic powder
• S+P, to taste
• 1 tsp. of nutritional yeast
• 1 shallot, sliced thin
• 1 cup of cooked quinoa, for serving
• Green onion, for serving

How to:

• Preheat oven to 450 degrees
• Arrange broccoli on lined baking sheet
• Spray broccoli all over with cooking spray
• Combine chili powder + cumin + cayenne pepper + garlic powder + S+P in a lil bowl
• Rub all over the broccoli
• Roast for 15 minutes
• Flip steaks, roast another 10 minutes
• Fresh out the oven, hit ’em with that lime juice + nutritional yeast
• Serve hot with shallots + quinoa + green onion
• Tell sweetie you’re having steaks for dinner, then serve him this + see if he still loves you