I may or may not be a psychopath.

At least according to my adoring husband.

I don’t exhibit the normal characteristics of a psychopath, but apparently this one habit of mine is so abhorrent it automatically classifies me as such.

I eat my oatmeal plain. No cinnamon or brown sugar, certainly no raisins. I flirt with blueberries occasionally, but even they alter the experience. I do add some nuts when I’m eating the complimentary breakfast at the Hampton Inns, just to not scare the other patrons. It is the true highlight of my day. Nothing brings me more satisfaction than sitting down at my dining table with a piping hot bowl of stick to your ribs plain as the day is long oatmeal. I’m sorry, I can’t help that oats are pure in nature and need no refining, but apparently this is not normal? Garrett is literally so appalled by this, he tells everyone he comes in contact with that he’s married to a psychopath who eats her oatmeal plain. He’s obviously so in love.

Tbh I’ve been called worse, so I’m just rolling with it.

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

• 1 package of tempeh
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
• 1 jalapeno, diced
• 1 red bell pepper, diced
• 1 can of diced tomatoes
• 1 can of green chiles
• 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
• 1 can of pinto beans, rinsed + drained
• 1 can of kidney beans, rinsed + drained
• 1 can of hominy, drained
• 1 tbsp. of olive oil
• 1 tbsp. of chipotle chili powder
• 1 tsp. of cumin
• 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
• S+P, to taste
• Cilantro, for serving
• Avocado, for serving

How to:

• Heat oil in a large stock pot over medium heat
• Add onion, cook 3 minutes
• Add garlic, cook another minute
• Crumble in tempeh, cook for 5-6 minutes or until starts to slightly brown
• Add jalapeno + red pepper + some S+P, cook for 2-3 minutes
• Add 1-2 cups of water (depending on how brothy you like your ish) + tomatoes + chiles + beans + hominy + chipotle chili powder + cumin + crushed red pepper + S+P
• Bring to a boil, reduce heat, simmer for 30-40 minutes
• Serve hot with cilantro + avocado
• Locate giant straw + plop into bowl + slurp down chili, accelerating the nutrients entering your bloodstream