How many pairs of eyewear will I purchase online before I realize it’s a very bad idea?

3 dozen? 100? Does the limit really not exist?

I legit get a new pair every 8 months because I can no longer stand the sight of myself in the giant goggles I choose.

I always order from the same site and they are chock full of the latest fashions and v stylish options. I’m hip, I’m trendy, I can wear those ginormous oblong frames, right? Wrong. They even offer free at-home try-ons so you’re not stuck with something that looks horrendous. Do I utilize this convenient service? No, never. I always think this time is going to be different. This pair will perfectly my fit equal parts long face and chubby cheeks. A new pair arrived yesterday. These are much smaller than my old pairs, neatly round, no crazy shape, and pink. Pink! I have found the perfect pair! I sent a selfie to my father who immediately told me I look more and more like a grandmother everyday.

The BEST part of new glasses is the first couple of days where they haven’t stretched to my face & they are squeezing my head so hard they leave stellar bruises.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

• 1 butternut squash, spiralized
• 1 red onion, sliced thin
• 1 package of cremini mushrooms, sliced thin
• 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
• 1 zucchini, sliced into thin ribbons
• 1/2 cup of pomegranate seeds
• 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
• 4 tbsp. of olive oil
• Juice of 1/2 a lemon
• S+P, to taste

How to:

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees
• Arrange cauliflower on a lined baking sheet with a drizzle of 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
• Roast 20-25 minutes, tossing once
• Meanwhile, heat another tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
• Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
• Add garlic, cook another minute
• Add mushrooms + S+P, cook another 5 minutes
• Toss the raw butternut squash noodles + raw zucchini + mushroom + onion mix + cauliflower in a large bowl with remaining olive oil + lemon juice + pomegranate seeds + S+P
• Refrigerate for a bit + serve chilled or room temp
• Enjoy slurping the entirety of this guilt free meal + doing a lil happy jig around your party pad in celebration