The Met Gala is a nice annual reminder that I am not what the kids would call “hip” and our world is pretty sick that we slingshot money at this kind of thing and watch it all unfold with bated breath.

It took my friend approximately 45 minutes to explain the “camp” theme to me.

FYI – I still don’t understand.

While I thoroughly enjoyed the flamboyant fashion, I couldn’t help but wonder (*channels Carrie Bradshaw*) is this really the best use of this much wealth??? Like, I get it’s a fundraiser for the Met and these are millionaire celebrities who blow their noses in hundred dollar bills, but $35,000 a TICKET?! 100,000 humans could eat a hot meal for that (I have no idea of this is true). That’s just the ticket. The celebs only know if they’ve been invited like three weeks before so how much are they paying these designers to create wearable hamburgers on such short notice??? Idk, maybe I’m just jealous I’ll never receive a personal invitation from Anna Wintour requesting my presence on this carpet. Though, that is a BIG mistake, Anna, because I will happily pull a Gaga and do a 15-minute performance complete with 3 wardrobe changes and backup dancers as I make my entrance. I will, however, need to borrow $35,000 to make it happen.

Cher performed, though, and that’s worth at least $27,000.

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 12-18 cookies

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup of vegan butter
• 3/4 cup of coconut sugar
• 4 tbsp. of dairy free milk (I used unsweetened vanilla almond milk)
• 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
• 2 cups of whole wheat flour
• 1 tbsp. of instant coffee
• 1/2 tsp. of baking soda
• Pinch of salt
• 1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips

How to:

• Preheat oven to 350
• In a mixer, combine butter + sugar until well combined
• Add in milk + vanilla, combine well
• Slowly add in flour while mixer is on low
• Add in coffee + baking soda + salt, mix until a dough is formed
• Fold in chocolate chips
• Using a cookie scoop, scoop cookies onto a lined baking sheet
• Flatten them a bit with the back of the scoop
• Bake for 10 minutes, remove + let cool
• Serve warm or room temperature
• Dunk into your morning coffee + cram into your mouth, repeat until you explode