Why errbody be hating on sweet baby Archie’s name?
Do I hope he turns out to be a redheaded high school star athlete and also the lead singer of a self-named band with all of his pals? Absolutely.
Personally, I live for old people names. The older the better. Like, Mildred? INTO IT.
Like, I’m sorry. They can’t name him Joe. This baby was in People magazine while in utero more times than I will be in all of my life. Like, he isn’t a commoner. He needs a name that makes a statement. I also love the family initials are HAM now. V royal. What must it be like for sweet little Megan? It would have been dope if she really broke from tradition and refused to do that archaic walk-out 2 hours after birth in full hair, makeup and heels. Like, Meg, we know you have a diaper on under that dress. We want you to rest. We all understand. They’d have to roll me out on a gurney. I’d do my princess wave horizontally.
This has infected me so much I dreamt I named a child Roger.
Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6
- 1 package of spaghetti
- 1-1.5 cups of shiitake mushrooms, sliced
- 1 package of firm tofu, water drained from tofu
- 1/2 cup of unflavored dairy free milk
- 1/2 cup of nutritional yeast
- Juice of 1/2 a lemon
- 1 tbsp. of tahini
- 1 tsp. of turmeric
- 1 tbsp. of smoked paprika
- S+P, to taste
- 1 tbsp. of olive oil
- Parsley, for serving
- In a bowl, combine shiitake + smoked paprika + S+P
- Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
- Add mushrooms, cook 5-6 minutes
- In a food processor, combine tofu + milk + nutritional yeast + lemon juice + tahini + turmeric + S+P, process until smooth
- Meanwhile, cook pasta to al denta
- Add sauce to drained pasta pot, cook for 2-3 minutes
- Add pasta + mushrooms into the pot, coat + warm for another minute, add some S+P, to taste
- Serve warm with parsley
Adapted from here!