I am an ugly man.

Like, as a man, I kind of just look like roadkill.

Thanks to the new Snapchat filters, we can all discover what we look like as the opposite sex! Because that is a thing our society needs.

All of my girlfriends are all, like, really good looking dudes. I mean, they’re all gorgeous women, but it’s just not fair they are hot guys too! I, on the otherhand, look like a “geeky frat boy who is trying too hard” according to one pal. Then, Garrett does the girl filter and he is like really pretty….. The filter gave him like feathered hair and perfectly manicured brows. It softened his smile and gave him these rosy cheeks. He was so proud of himself, too. At least 8 times, he chanted “I’m a pwetty giwl! I’m a pwetty giwl!” I just don’t think I can be friends with all of these stunning hermaphrodites. It’s not good for my ego.

Honestly, I’m most upset Snapchat gave me a trash ‘stache.

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

• 4 avocados, pitted
• 1 package of soyrizo
• 1 white onion, diced
• 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
• 7-8 leaves of butter lettuce, chiffonaded
• 4 tortillas, cut in lil strips
• 1 tbsp. of olive oil
• 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
• S+P, to taste
• Cilantro, for serving

How to:

• Preheat oven to 400
• Arrange tortilla strips on a lined baking sheet in an even layer, bake 20 minutes, tossing once, being careful they don’t burn
• Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
• Add 1/2 the onion + some S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
• Add garlic, cook another minute
• Add soyrizo, cook for 8-9 minutes or until soyrizo is crisp to your desire
• To serve, sprinkle some soyrizo onto an avocado + top with some raw onion + tomatoes + lettuce + crunchy tortilla strips + cilantro
• With hands tied behind back, dive face first into this sea of avocado taco boat goodness + go to town