TELL ME some of you guys are following along with this slick crazy Instagram scavenger hunt engagement/wedding happening over the last few days.

If not, allow me to fill you in with an abridged version.

This Instagram influencer and her banker boyfriend are apparently getting engaged. Dude set up this wild scavenger hunt for her starting Tuesday and it’s literally still happening and she’s still not engaged or seen her beau. She went from NYC to the Hamptons to Miami and is now on her way to Paris. And she is posting every detail on her insta story and it’s gone viral Like, modern America, you gotta love it.

I know this seems really exciting and thoughtful and romantic or something, but I have some questions. This gal has a 9-5 (supposedly), so is her boss really kewl with her just leaving work in the middle of a random Tuesday and not coming back for who only knows how long?? That must be one heck of a benefits package! Next, she doesn’t know where she’s going so doesn’t know what to pack. Literally one of my worst nightmares. I pack 12 outfits for one night because I can think of that many things that could go wrong, requiring backups. Additionally, she is on all of these planes and going, going, going, yet she shows absolutely no sign of travel bloat. I don’t buy it! Either she doesn’t eat or she is a specimen we need to lock up and study because the travel bloat is not something even the rich and famous can escape. Finally, this woman is getting showered with free gifts. Like, goodies are raining from the sky on her because of how big of a deal this is becoming. They are obvio already wealthy otherwise how is this happening in the first place, but now she’s getting free outfits and jewelry?! The cruel injustices of our social media-addicted world! Of which I am addicted.

What happened to getting engaged on the porch of your boo’s house with your BFF stashed in a bush taking iPhone pix?? The good ‘ole days.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

• 1 head of cauliflower, grated into rice on a cheese grater
• 1 white onion, diced
• 1 tbsp. of garlic, monced
• 1/4 cup of dry white wine
• 1/4 cup of vegetable broth
• 6 tbsp. of walnuts
• 3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
• 2 tbsp. of vegan buter
• 1 fennel bulb, sliced thin
• 1 cup of frozen peas
• 2 tbsp. of olive oil
• 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
• S+P, to taste

How to:

• Heat one tbsp. of olive oil in a large pot over medium heat
• Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
• Add garlic, cook another minute
• Add cauliflower, coat + cook another 3-4 minutes
• Add wine, cook another 2 minutes
• Add broth, cook another 5 minutes or until absorbed by the cauli rice
• Meanwhile, heat the remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
• Add fennel + S+P, cook 5-7 minutes
• Meanwhile, pulse walnuts + nutritional yeast + some S+P in a food processor
• Turn heat to low + add in walnut mix + butter + fennel + peas + crushed red pepper + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
• Serve warm
• Eat 6 bowls of this back to back because it’s basically like eating air

 

Adapted from here!