I think I had my first hot flash.

At 28. Is that even possible?

Farewell, cruel world. I’m out.

I’m getting ready for bed two nights ago and all of a sudden I am overcome with heat. Like I can feel my scalp get hot and start to dampen. My cheeks flush. I feel like I am going to burst out of my skin. I accuse Garrett of turning off the air and/or poisoning me. I’m like running around the house trying to figure out what is happening to make me so hot. Air is working, fan is on, everything is normal. It’s me. I’m just boiling from the inside out. These are just as terrible as Diane Keaton has always told us. I’m sorry, I simply won’t survive anymore of these. I hope someone is working on a menopause pill that allows us to bypass these symptoms. I only calmed down after ripping off all my clothes and standing in front of the oscillating fan for 20 minutes while contemplating aging and my mortality. It was a dark day.

I’ve tried to since convince myself it was just the summer heat and I’m a delicate southern belle who must be fanned and tended to with iced teas and fresh hankies to dab at my sweaty brow.

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2

Ingredients:

• 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
• 1 can of butter beans, rinsed + drained
• 1/4 cup of sundried tomatoes, chopped
• 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, rinsed + halved
• 1 cup of basil
• 1 cup of spinach
• 1/2 cup of walnuts
• 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
• 2 tbsp. of garlic
• Juice of 1/2 a lemon
• 1/3 cup + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
• 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
• S+P, to taste

How to:

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees
• In a food processor, combine basil + spinach + walnuts + nutritional yeast + 1 tbsp. of garlic + lemon juice + S+P
• Process while drizzling in 1/3 cup of olive oil until smooth
• Thin with a little water if necessary
• In a bowl, toss cauliflower with half of the pesto
• Arrange on a lined baking sheet
• Bake 30-35 minutes, tossing once, until browned to your desire
• Meanwhile, heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
• Add beans + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
• Add sundried tomatoes + crushed red pepper, cook another 2-3 minutes
• Remove from pan
• Add tomatoes to hot skillet with S+P, cook 4-5 minutes
• To serve, arrange some cauli on a plate + top with beans + tomatoes + remaining pesto
• On your plate, create a cauli road for you to traipse down with your scarecrow friend + find magical adventure + fun