My panic disorder is one of my most charming qualities.
Like, to myself. If other people have to see it, it’s a catastrophe.
Common folk can handle life circumstances with clarity and a level head. Not I, the overreacting girl!!!!
I’ve told y’all I run the cafe at church once a month. I was closing up shop yesterday, getting everything put away and organized. Every single time I forget that I’m supposed to lock the keys up because obvio that feels counterintuitive. Who locks keys INSIDE something else?! But this time, I did everything correctly the first time. Gold star for me! I start to leave and realize I don’t have my bag. It’s inside the closet. And I just locked the keys inside said closet. Wave of nausea comes, but I swallow it back – I know where the spare is! I go rifling through the drawer and it’s not in the secret hiding spot. I check all of the drawers. Nada. Nothing. Panic ensues. I ask my team leader if she has a key. Nope. She enlists two staff members to help. No can do. I think by this time we have tried every ring on four key rings and one staff member has tried breaking in with a credit card lawlz. By now, I am having a full blown panic attack. My car keys are in that closet. I cannot even leave here. I will have to sleep in this church. At least I will be comforted by the Lord, but like the seats aren’t THAT comfortable. Finally I just said, “K, I’m going to call a locksmith,” because by this point 20 minutes have gone by and in my experience if something can’t fixed in 20 minutes, it’s time to call a professional. They were basically like hold your horses, a key has been found.
I just HAD to take a 45 minute bubble bath to decompress and get my heart rate down after that.
Time: 6 hours (prep + freezing) | Serves: 12 bites
- 1 cup of packed dates
- 1 cup of raw walnuts
- 1/2 cup of cashews + 1 cup of almonds, quick-soaked (bring nuts to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes, drain) or soaked overnight
- Juice of 1 lemon
- 1/3 cup of coconut oil
- 2/3 cup of full-fat coconut milk
- 1/2 cup of agave
- 2 tbsp. of creamy peanut butter
- Flaky sea salt, for serving
- In a food processor, add dates + process until they form into one ball
- Add walnuts + process into a meal
- To a lightly greased muffin pan, place a strip of parchment paper at the bottom of each tin so the paper hangs out on either side (this will make lifting the bites out easier)
- Using a cookie scoop, scoop out some of your date/walnut mix + pour into each tin, pressing down + flattening in each – about two scoops of mix for tin
- Place in freezer while you work on the filling
- Meanwhile, combine cashews + almonds + lemon juice + coconut oil + milk + agave in the cleaned out food processor, process until smooth creamy (I then transferred mine to a blender to get it even creamier)
- Add peanut butter + process again until all combined
- Using your cookie scoop, scoop 2-3 spoonfuls on top of each crust in the muffin pan until almost full, spread it out evenly + tap the pan down to get out the air bubbles
- Add back to the freezer, freeze for about 4-5 hours
- To serve, sprinkle some flaky sea salt on top
- In the middle of the night while your sweetie is sleeping, tiptoe into the kitchen + eat all of these by the refrigerator light, while you contemplate the life decisions that got you here
Adapted from here!
One thought on “Peanut Butter Cheesecake Bites”
Clearly your mother went horribly wrong with you somewhere along the way…..