My panic disorder is one of my most charming qualities.
Like, to myself. If other people have to see it, it’s a catastrophe.
Common folk can handle life circumstances with clarity and a level head. Not I, the overreacting girl!!!!
I’ve told y’all I run the cafe at church once a month. I was closing up shop yesterday, getting everything put away and organized. Every single time I forget that I’m supposed to lock the keys up because obvio that feels counterintuitive. Who locks keys INSIDE something else?! But this time, I did everything correctly the first time. Gold star for me! I start to leave and realize I don’t have my bag. It’s inside the closet. And I just locked the keys inside said closet. Wave of nausea comes, but I swallow it back – I know where the spare is! I go rifling through the drawer and it’s not in the secret hiding spot. I check all of the drawers. Nada. Nothing. Panic ensues. I ask my team leader if she has a key. Nope. She enlists two staff members to help. No can do. I think by this time we have tried every ring on four key rings and one staff member has tried breaking in with a credit card lawlz. By now, I am having a full blown panic attack. My car keys are in that closet. I cannot even leave here. I will have to sleep in this church. At least I will be comforted by the Lord, but like the seats aren’t THAT comfortable. Finally I just said, “K, I’m going to call a locksmith,” because by this point 20 minutes have gone by and in my experience if something can’t fixed in 20 minutes, it’s time to call a professional. They were basically like hold your horses, a key has been found.
I just HAD to take a 45 minute bubble bath to decompress and get my heart rate down after that.
Time: 6 hours (prep + freezing) | Serves: 12 bites
- 1 cup of packed dates
- 1 cup of raw walnuts
- 1/2 cup of cashews + 1 cup of almonds, quick-soaked (bring nuts to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes, drain) or soaked overnight
- Juice of 1 lemon
- 1/3 cup of coconut oil
- 2/3 cup of full-fat coconut milk
- 1/2 cup of agave
- 2 tbsp. of creamy peanut butter
- Flaky sea salt, for serving
- In a food processor, add dates + process until they form into one ball
- Add walnuts + process into a meal
- To a lightly greased muffin pan, place a strip of parchment paper at the bottom of each tin so the paper hangs out on either side (this will make lifting the bites out easier)
- Using a cookie scoop, scoop out some of your date/walnut mix + pour into each tin, pressing down + flattening in each – about two scoops of mix for tin
- Place in freezer while you work on the filling
- Meanwhile, combine cashews + almonds + lemon juice + coconut oil + milk + agave in the cleaned out food processor, process until smooth creamy (I then transferred mine to a blender to get it even creamier)
- Add peanut butter + process again until all combined
- Using your cookie scoop, scoop 2-3 spoonfuls on top of each crust in the muffin pan until almost full, spread it out evenly + tap the pan down to get out the air bubbles
- Add back to the freezer, freeze for about 4-5 hours
- To serve, sprinkle some flaky sea salt on top
- In the middle of the night while your sweetie is sleeping, tiptoe into the kitchen + eat all of these by the refrigerator light, while you contemplate the life decisions that got you here
Adapted from here!