I just want to be the kewlest house in the neighborhood.

I can never win at being the kewlest person in any given group ever, but maybe my house can win.

Certainly not for any sort of interior decorating or gardening competition, oh no. I have no talents or time for such things.

I just mean among the neighborhood children out trick-or-treating. Garr & I are going to church this evening and while I loathe the thought of missing toddlers in dinosaur costumes and the chance to lure one into my home and keep forever, we must get our Jesus on. So I got a couple of bags of GOOD candy – no off brand junk in this house! I’m talking Snickers, M&Ms & the queen – Reese’s. I put it all in a bowl & have it on the front porch with a sign that reads to take as much as you want. Like, I want some little kid to pick up that bowl and dump the entire thing in his pillow case & run back to his mom screaming about his haul. It’s two-fold, really. I’m generous AF and I don’t want to binge candy tonight because I know I have no self control. Honestly, the only level of rich I want to get to is just rich enough to buy full size candy bars & pass out 12 dozen to each kid at Halloween.

Do you think the parents would mind if I set up a camera to capture footage of their dressed up kids to just have for my personal archives of cuteness?

 

 

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

• 3 beets, washed + peeled
• 1/2 a red onion, diced
• 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
• 2 cups of white button mushrooms, chopped
• 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup of walnuts, finely chopped or crushed in a food processor
• 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
• 1 tbsp. of cumin
• 1 tbsp. of chili powder
• 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
• 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
• 1 tsp. of soy sauce
• S+P, to taste
• 1 tbsp. of olive oil
• Buns, for serving
• Arugula, for serving
• Tomato sliced, for serving

How to:

• Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat
• Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
• Add garlic, cook another minute
• Add mushrooms + S+P, cook another 5-6 minutes
• Turn off heat, add in black beans + mash them bad boys all up together with the mushroom mix
• Add to a bowl
• Meanwhile, grate your beets using a cheese grater + add to the bowl along with the quinoa + walnuts + cumin + chili powder + smoked paprika + red pepper + soy sauce + some more S+P, mix to combine
• Place mix in the fridge for 30 minutes and preheat your oven to 400 degrees while you wait
• Form burgers into patties + arrange on a lined, greased baking sheet
• Bake for 40 minutes, flipping once in the middle
• Serve warm on buns with arugula + tomatoes
• Eat 8 on Halloween + rub any of the beet crumbles on your mouth + hands so it looks like BLOOD

 

Adapted from here!