I desperately need a life.

I’ve always known this, it’s not totally news. I’m pretty boring, lackluster, average, etc. I’m not looking for compliments, I’m just very self aware.

But it’s become glaringly obvious in the last several days that something has to give.

As my dreams have been haunted completely by…characters from The Bachelor franchise. I call them characters because I’m not convinced they’re real people. I’ve only seen one in real life and she was far away, but we did ride on the same airplane together so ~celeb sighting~. Anyways, it just does not do anything good for my psyche to go from watching The Bachelorette every Monday night immediately into a fresh season of Bachelor in Paradise. As much as I love the continuity, I am truly consumed with these people and need a break.

But will I give myself one by just not stalking all of them on instagram and skipping next week’s episode? Absolutely not.

Time: 3.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

• 1 package of tempeh, cut in thin slices
• 1 cup of hummus, any flavor you fancy
• 3-4 rainbow carrots, sliced in thin rounds
• 1/4 of a red cabbage, sliced thin
• 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
• 1/2 cup + 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
• 1 tbsp. of honey
• 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
• 1 tbsp. of sugar
• 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
• 1 tsp. of rosemary
• 4-6 cups of arugula
• S+P, to taste
• 3 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

• In a bowl, combine soy sauce + 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar + honey + smoked paprika + olive oil + S+P
• Arrange tempeh slices in a container + pour marinade over them, cover, shake + refrigerate for 3 hours
• Meanwhile, add cabbage to another container + pour 1/2 cup of apple cider vinegar + 1/2 cup of water + sugar + garlic + S+P, cover, shake + refrigerate that too
• Once tempeh is marinated + cabbage pickled, preheat oven to 350 degrees
• Arrange carrots on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P + rosemary
• Bake 20-25 minutes, tossing once, until roasted to your desire
• In a skillet, heat remaining tbsp. of olive oil
• Add tempeh, cook 5-6 minutes until crisp to your desire
• To serve, arrange some arugula in a dish + top with tempeh + pickled cabbage + roasted carrots + a big dollop of hummus
• Cram a little bit of each bite into your cram hole