Kale Dolmas

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There’s a reason I didn’t go into the medical field.

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You might guess it’s because of the blood or guts or puke or just bodily functions in general.

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Those don’t really bother me tbh. I’m just a big, fat spaz.

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Due to some stellar medical issues, I have to take these shots. I was in the doctor’s office yesterday and my nurse showed me how to do my new shot and then asked me to demonstrate so she knew I wasn’t an idiot. My how she overestimated me. Not only am I an idiot, I am a dangerous idiot. I put the shot together just fine. I was taking it apart and putting the little plastic piece back on the needle when somehow the needle went sideways through the plastic and into my finger. It bled. I let out a minor profanity. My nurse was like, “Huh OK I have truly never seen that before.”

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What can I say, I like being the first at things.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 7-8 dolmas

Ingredients:

  • 1 bunch of lacinato kale leaves
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 package of tempeh, crumbled
  • 2 cups of brown rice, cooked
  • 1/4 cup of fresh dill
  • 2 tbsp. of parsley, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1/2 cup of vegan, plain yogurt
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Bring a pot of salted water to a boil
  • Add kale leaves a few at a time, cooking for 3-4 minutes
  • Remove + place on a kitchen towel + pat dry
  • In a bowl, combine yogurt + lemon juice + some S+P, set aside
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add tempeh, cook 6-7 minutes or until starting to brown
  • Add rice + parsley + dill + S+P, cook another 1-2 minutes
  • Turn off heat, add half of the yogurt mix
  • Place a kale leaf on a flat surface
  • Fill with a hefty scoop of the rice mix right in the middle
  • Fold like a hamburger first, then a hotdog (you know what I’m talking about), place seam side down on a plate
  • Serve with remaining yogurt sauce
  • Accidentally eat all of them in one sitting + watch your tummy balloon from all of the delectable rice kernels

 

Adapted from here!

Mexican Green Quinoa

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My how the tables have turned.

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A couple of years ago, you wouldn’t catch me outside unless it involved a mimosa and a covered patio.

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Now I crave time in the good Lord’s creation.

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I made Garrett go hike with me this weekend. I, Rachel, suggested an outdoor event. He asked me if I had a fever. Idk man, I just have this ache to be among the trees and the breeze and all of God’s goodness. There is something about being surrounded by nature, breathing in the fresh air and making your hunny carry the heavy pack so you can frolic freely. Also, I want hella cute and defined legs. Sue me. Apparently, my next outdoor adventure needs to involve camping. I’m sorry I just can’t rationalize sleeping on the cold, hard ground with a piece of cloth between me and wildebeests. But I am like this close to selling all of our possessions (I have already donated SIX bags of crap to charity this year) and moving into a humble cabin in the wilderness.

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Which I would absolutely do if the wilderness was within 20 minutes of a major city and international airport.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of white quinoa
  • 1 cup of spinach, chopped
  • 1 cup of kale, chopped
  • 2 green onions, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of mint leaves, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1/4 cup of pistachio nuts, chipped
  • 1/4 cup of pumpkin seeds
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil
  • Juice + zest of 1 lemon
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Cook quinoa according to package directions
  • Remove heat + fluff with a fork
  • Add to a bowl with all ingredients + some S+P
  • Serve warm or chilled
  • Accidentally binge entire bowl while watching Netflix like I did

Cauliflower Tagine

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So I just binged this show “Cheer” on Netflix.

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And I was reminded I danced in high school.

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A fact I absolutely cannot even believe is true given my lack of talent and disdain for group activities.

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I was so bad, dude. Like, I had no business on that team. I couldn’t turn or jump, I think I made it cause I was short and could be hidden easily. I literally danced because I thought it would make me kewl. Spoiler alert: that didn’t work. And in turn I was fairly miserable. It’s just not fun being the very worst in a room of like 30 people at something! We did win Nationals one year which was pretty dope. I legit think it came down to me hitting my triple turn which I BARELY DID. In the video, you can practically see me gritting my teeth and just praying the Lord would spin me around three times. I was so happy I hit it, I almost stopped and ran off the floor right then and there I was so pumped.

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I should have listened to my parents when they politely told me I had no future in dance and should stick to literally any other activity.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 lemon, skin peeled + chopped
  • 1 head of cauliflower, sliced into florets
  • 1 can of chopped tomatoes
  • 8-10 baby carrots, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup of kalamata olives, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • 1 cup of raw lentils
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 2 tsp. of ground coriander
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a cast iron skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add chili powder + cumin + coriander + crushed red pepper + some S+P, cook another minute
  • Add the tomatoes + tomato paste + lemon zest + S+P, cook another 1-2 minutes
  • Add olives + carrots + cauliflower, coat + cook 2-3 minutes
  • Add about 1/2 cup of water, cover + simmer for 15 minutes or until cauli is tender
  • Meanwhile, cook lentils according to package directions + season with S+P
  • Add lentils to cauli skillet, cook 2-3 minutes
  • Serve warm with cilantro
  • Dive into this rainbow journey + discover the pot of gold at the end of the trail, aka a v happy gut

 

 

Adapted from here!