Gingerbread Nice Cream

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Fun fact: as a child I wanted to be one of two things: actress or waitress.

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The great dichotomy of my skill set.

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Truth be told, I did quite a bit of dinner theatre as a child. I had star potential, I tell you! Plus, I perfected refilling water glasses at the ripe old age of 7.

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For I don’t know how many years, I was the only kid in this Christmas show. You could find me singing such classics as “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” with my two front teeth blacked out with shoe polish (is this toxic??), “Jolly Old St. Nicholas,” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” and “Feliz Navidad,” fashioning a giant sombrero on my miniature body. It was a real crowd pleaser. The show was truly the mark of Christmas in my family because obviously my entire extended family came to every single show. The attention fueled my performances. My grandfather also enjoyed the unlimited cheesecake.

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After the shows, they’d put me at coat check holding the tip jar. Geniuses, the lot of ’em.

 

 

Time: 2.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: approx. 4 servings of nice cream

Ingredients:

  • 8 bananas
  • 1/4 cup of molasses
  • 1 tbsp. of ground ginger
  • 1 tsp. of cinnamon
  • 1 tsp. of pumpkin pie spice
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp. of lemon juice
  • Ginger bread cookies, at least 2, but more for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, combine bananas + molasses + ginger + cinnamon + pumpkin pie spice + vanilla + lemon juice + 2 gingerbread cookies
  • Spread in an even layer in a pan
  • Crumble a couple more cookies on top
  • Freeze at least two hours
  • Serve cold with more crumbled cookies
  • Eat straight of pan in your most fashionable sweats like I did

 

Adapted from here!

Miso Veggie Noodles

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Why must I be so incredibly thoughtful?

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It’s really throwing a giant wrench smackdab in the middle of my bank account.

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It’s been my new year’s resolution every year since I can remember that I’m going to be more thoughtful. No longer will I yell “My presence is your present!” at my family when it’s my turn to pass out Christmas gifts.

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So this Christmas, I’ve done something I’ve never done before – purchased real gifts! Not just grab a bottle of wine on the way to the party or craft a last minute coupon book like a 7-year-old, I actually, like, went to stores and perused shelves for things I thought my humans might enjoy. There’s a lot of stuff out there when you aren’t totally self-centered and a major cheap-o! Soon, though, it became an addiction. If I left a store empty handed, I would curse the proprietor for not having equal parts useful and humorous gift options at a sensible price. I felt so defeated the other day after not checking everything off my list, I pouted and cried the rest of the evening.

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I’ve really mastered the “reason for the season” thing.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 2 zucchini, spiralized
  • 2 beets, peeled + spiralized or shredded
  • 1 cup of matchstick carrots or 2 carrots, peeled + shreeded
  • 1 cup of snap peas
  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of sesame miso
  • 2 tbsp. of fresh ginger, minced
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of rice vinegar
  • 2 tsp. of toasted sesame oil
  • 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine half of the miso + half the ginger + juice of 1/2 the lime + half the soy sauce + half the rice vinegar + half the toasted sesame oil + 1/4 cup of the olive oil, whisk well
  • Add tempeh to the dressing + coat, marinate 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, mix up the other half of the dressing ingredients, set aside
  • On a lined baking sheet, spread chickpeas into an even layer
  • Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P, bake 20-25 minutes, tossing once in the middle of cooking
  • Meanwhile, heat the remaining tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add marinated tempeh, cook for 6-8 minutes, browning on all sides
  • Remove from pan + add snap peas, cook 3-4 minutes, remove
  • To serve, combine all veggie noodles in a bowl with tempeh + chickpeas + snap peas + cilantro + toss with dressing
  • Crunch + slurp on your noodles while simultaneously rocking around your Christmas tree

 

Dressing adapted from here!

Roasted Red Pepper + Broccoli Risotto

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Christmas tree is up, stockings are hung and a dozen holiday-scented candles are lit. Christmas time is here!

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I love how the holiday season reminds us of what’s really important.

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Like my uncanny resemblance to the Grinch.

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We relate on a really cerebral level, it’s just deep, man. Minus the anti-Christmas sentiments, we are practically twins. The secret language with our animals, the social anxiety, the love of raw onion, the motivation to publicly receive awards, it’s all there. Plus, I, too, have a standing 4 o’clock appointment to wallow in self-pity. I’m watching the movie now and he just said, “What if it’s a cruel prank? What if it’s a cash bar?” These are literally the only two things that cross my mind when I’ve been invited to a party or event.

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Also, I can do a near-perfect impersonation of the Grinch smile and it is a real crowd pleaser.

 

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of arborio rice
  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup of dry white wine
  • 6 cups of vegetable stock
  • 3 red peppers, tops lopped off
  • 2 heads of broccoli, cut in florets
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast + more for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange peppers on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Arrange the broccoli florets on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast veggies for 20 minutes, toss, roast another 10, remove broccoli, stir peppers again, cook until blackened on almost all sides
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a large stock pot over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add rice, stir to coat + toast for a minute
  • Turn down heat to low-med, add wine, stir + let rice absorb
  • Add stock, one ladle at a time, stirring constantly until each ladle full is absorbed, repeat until rice is tender, about 40 minutes
  • Once peppers are cool, remove skin + chop peppers up
  • Once rice is tender, add roasted veggies + nutritional yeast + crushed red pepper + some S+P
  • Serve warm with some extra nutritional yeast
  • Roll up leftovers into lil balls + hang from your tree for a lil extra pizazz this Christmas