Lentil + Pineapple Salsa Tacos

fullsizeoutput_de0

I said this time would be different.

fullsizeoutput_dd2

I wouldn’t fall into the same trap I end up in every few years.

fullsizeoutput_dd5

I’ve grown, I’ve changed, I’m strong.

fullsizeoutput_dd8

Then August 23rd came around and Taylor Swift dropped Lover and all my resolve went out the window. The album is killer, man. I was the first person to tell anyone I talked to about it that I felt like this would be her worst yet. I didn’t like the singles. I wasn’t feeling her ‘tude about the whole thing. I was OK with the idea of this being an off year for her. I listened to the whole thing once through and I was like dagnabit she done made me a liar! It’s so good. It gives me Red vibes which is unarguably her best album of all time and quite possibly won’t be topped. Even the singles I didn’t enjoy as they stood alone sound better when played with the rest of the songs. Why, oh why, is she so good at connecting with twenty-something upper middle class females?!?!?!

fullsizeoutput_dee

Though I do need to have a talk with her about the v unnecessary Leo lyric in The Man.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 tacos + extra salsa

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of lentils
  • 1 pineapple, cut into cubes
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 jalapeno
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro
  • Juice of 1 lime + the zest
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • S+P, to taste
  • Warm tortillas, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine pineapple + red pepper + red onion + jalapeno + cilantro + olive oil + juice of 1/2 the lime+ S+P, mix well + refrigerate until ready to serve
  • Cook lentils according to package directions
  • Once lentils are just about cooked, mix in remaining lime juice + zest + chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika + onion powder + garlic powder + tomato paste + S+P, cook another 2-3 minutes until all liquid is absorbed
  • To serve, spread some lentils in a warm tortilla + top with salsa
  • Smear leftover lentils on face for a detoxifying mask + feed yourself chunks of pineapple

 

Adapted from here!

Corn + Avocado Panzanella

fullsizeoutput_dc3

A thing I excel at is karaoke.

fullsizeoutput_db4

And just generally being the life of the party.

fullsizeoutput_dbc

This last statement is false except when I am surrounded by all of my friends in a foreign land like I was this weekend.

fullsizeoutput_dbd

If you consider Boston a foreign land, that is. A dear friend got married this weekend and like 15 of our closest pals descended on MA for the affair. It’s a rare occasion that we all get together considering jobs, families, spouses, babies, life, bills, etc. I cannot even put into the words the fun that was had, but I will try by summarizing our first night: We end up at a hole in the wall pub that all of the girls are like umm is this going to be OK, not sure about this aesthetic. We walk in and this place is BUMPING, man. It is THE place for young professionals on a Thursday after work. They have a jukebox playing Who Let The Dogs Out and other similar classics. Since we’re grooving so hard, we get the brilliant idea to karaoke…….at 7:30pm. Lucky us there’s a karaoke bar around the corner. We sang probably 16 of the 20 songs that were performed while we were there – everything ranging from Tina Turner to Dashboard Confessional, really impressing the crowd with our range. Of course, I concluded the evening with an Adele solo, as I do.

fullsizeoutput_dc8

I left my voice in Boston and now sound like an 80-year-old chain smoker.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 loaf of whole wheat sourdough, cut in cubes
  • 4 ears of corn, shucked
  • 1 avocado, diced
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1/4 cup of basil, chiffonaded
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 3 tbsp. of red wine vinegar
  • 1 tsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1 shallot, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • S+P, to taste
  • Lime, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • Toss bread with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Arrange in an even layer on a lined baking sheet, bake about 10 minutes or until toasted to your desire
  • Meanwhile, combine remaining olive oil + vinegar + mustard + shallot + garlic + S+P
  • In a big bowl, combine corn + avocado + tomatoes + jalapeno + red pepper + basil + S+P, toss to coat
  • Add bread + dressing, toss to coat + serve with lime
  • Find a comfy chaise lounge to retire on and hire some cabana boys to spoon feed you this while simultaneously fanning you

 

Dressing from here!

Peanut Butter Cheesecake Bites

fullsizeoutput_dac

My panic disorder is one of my most charming qualities.

fullsizeoutput_d99

Like, to myself. If other people have to see it, it’s a catastrophe.

fullsizeoutput_d9f

Common folk can handle life circumstances with clarity and a level head. Not I, the overreacting girl!!!!

fullsizeoutput_da1

I’ve told y’all I run the cafe at church once a month. I was closing up shop yesterday, getting everything put away and organized. Every single time I forget that I’m supposed to lock the keys up because obvio that feels counterintuitive. Who locks keys INSIDE something else?! But this time, I did everything correctly the first time. Gold star for me! I start to leave and realize I don’t have my bag. It’s inside the closet. And I just locked the keys inside said closet. Wave of nausea comes, but I swallow it back – I know where the spare is! I go rifling through the drawer and it’s not in the secret hiding spot. I check all of the drawers. Nada. Nothing. Panic ensues. I ask my team leader if she has a key. Nope. She enlists two staff members to help. No can do. I think by this time we have tried every ring on four key rings and one staff member has tried breaking in with a credit card lawlz. By now, I am having a full blown panic attack. My car keys are in that closet. I cannot even leave here. I will have to sleep in this church. At least I will be comforted by the Lord, but like the seats aren’t THAT comfortable. Finally I just said, “K, I’m going to call a locksmith,” because by this point 20 minutes have gone by and in my experience if something can’t fixed in 20 minutes, it’s time to call a professional. They were basically like hold your horses, a key has been found.

fullsizeoutput_da5

I just HAD to take a 45 minute bubble bath to decompress and get my heart rate down after that.

 

 

Time: 6 hours (prep + freezing) | Serves: 12 bites

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of packed dates
  • 1 cup of raw walnuts
  • 1/2 cup of cashews + 1 cup of almonds, quick-soaked (bring nuts to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes, drain) or soaked overnight
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1/3 cup of coconut oil
  • 2/3 cup of full-fat coconut milk
  • 1/2 cup of agave
  • 2 tbsp. of creamy peanut butter
  • Flaky sea salt, for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, add dates + process until they form into one ball
  • Add walnuts + process into a meal
  • To a lightly greased muffin pan, place a strip of parchment paper at the bottom of each tin so the paper hangs out on either side (this will make lifting the bites out easier)
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop out some of your date/walnut mix + pour into each tin, pressing down + flattening in each – about two scoops of mix for tin
  • Place in freezer while you work on the filling
  • Meanwhile, combine cashews + almonds + lemon juice + coconut oil + milk + agave in the cleaned out food processor, process until smooth creamy (I then transferred mine to a blender to get it even creamier)
  • Add peanut butter + process again until all combined
  • Using your cookie scoop, scoop 2-3 spoonfuls on top of each crust in the muffin pan until almost full, spread it out evenly + tap the pan down to get out the air bubbles
  • Add back to the freezer, freeze for about 4-5 hours
  • To serve, sprinkle some flaky sea salt on top
  • In the middle of the night while your sweetie is sleeping, tiptoe into the kitchen + eat all of these by the refrigerator light, while you contemplate the life decisions that got you here

 

Adapted from here!