Beet Burgers

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I just want to be the kewlest house in the neighborhood.

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I can never win at being the kewlest person in any given group ever, but maybe my house can win.

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Certainly not for any sort of interior decorating or gardening competition, oh no. I have no talents or time for such things.

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I just mean among the neighborhood children out trick-or-treating. Garr & I are going to church this evening and while I loathe the thought of missing toddlers in dinosaur costumes and the chance to lure one into my home and keep forever, we must get our Jesus on. So I got a couple of bags of GOOD candy – no off brand junk in this house! I’m talking Snickers, M&Ms & the queen – Reese’s. I put it all in a bowl & have it on the front porch with a sign that reads to take as much as you want. Like, I want some little kid to pick up that bowl and dump the entire thing in his pillow case & run back to his mom screaming about his haul. It’s two-fold, really. I’m generous AF and I don’t want to binge candy tonight because I know I have no self control. Honestly, the only level of rich I want to get to is just rich enough to buy full size candy bars & pass out 12 dozen to each kid at Halloween.

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Do you think the parents would mind if I set up a camera to capture footage of their dressed up kids to just have for my personal archives of cuteness?

 

 

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 3 beets, washed + peeled
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 2 cups of white button mushrooms, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts, finely chopped or crushed in a food processor
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of soy sauce
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns, for serving
  • Arugula, for serving
  • Tomato sliced, for serving

How to:

  • Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add mushrooms + S+P, cook another 5-6 minutes
  • Turn off heat, add in black beans + mash them bad boys all up together with the mushroom mix
  • Add to a bowl
  • Meanwhile, grate your beets using a cheese grater + add to the bowl along with the quinoa + walnuts + cumin + chili powder + smoked paprika + red pepper + soy sauce + some more S+P, mix to combine
  • Place mix in the fridge for 30 minutes and preheat your oven to 400 degrees while you wait
  • Form burgers into patties + arrange on a lined, greased baking sheet
  • Bake for 40 minutes, flipping once in the middle
  • Serve warm on buns with arugula + tomatoes
  • Eat 8 on Halloween + rub any of the beet crumbles on your mouth + hands so it looks like BLOOD

 

Adapted from here!

Pumpkin Chili

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How y’all get so creative?

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Like, days before Halloween I see you people showing UP in some of the best costumes ever.

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Y’all clever as HECK!

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My lame behind has NEVER had interesting inspiration for Halloween costumes. Ever since childhood I have just wanted to be a sexy princess or sexy rockstar. Like, I have a very vivid memory of being Princess Jasmine at maybe 3 or 4 years old. Living in DC, it was plumb freezing on Halloween so my evil mother forced me to wear an undershirt under my lil Jasmine crop top. I threw a FIT! The audacity! I wanted that baby belly out and about! Then there was the Pocahontas year. This time there was a long black wig that scratched the HECK out of me and the bangs came over my eyes a lil and just didn’t make me feel like the sexy princess I was going for at 5. Another tantrum. Fast forward to being Amy Winehouse a couple of times and then skipping several years because my anxiety didn’t allow me to even THINK about dressing up for fear of being made fun of. I peaked in 2010 and was actually something kewl – Garr and I were a hotdog – him the bun, me the weiner. That is literally the HEIGHT of my Halloween creativity. A processed meat.

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So this year I went back to my roots and was Ally from A Star is Born, obviously.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of pumpkin puree
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 can of pinto beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 package of soyrizo
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 10 oz. can of diced tomatoes with green chiles or fire roasted tomatoes
  • 1 fresh roma tomato, diced
  • 2 cups of vegetable broth
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Cherry tomatoes, for serving

How to:

  • Heat a skillet over medium heat
  • Add soyrizo + cook until crisp, about 7-8 minutes, remove + set aside
  • Heat oil in a dutch oven over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add red pepper, cook another 2 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook 1 more minute
  • Add chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika + oregano + crushed red pepper + some S+P, cook for a minute
  • Add in pumpkin + tomatoes + beans + broth + a lil water if you want it a lil soupier, bring to a boil, reduce heat + let simmer for 25 minutes
  • Add soyrizo, simmer another 5 minutes
  • Serve warm with cilantro + avocado + cherry tomato halves
  • Get your cauldron boiling + your spell book out + perform some Halloween mischief while drowing in your pumpkin chili

Autumn Greek Salad

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Lately, my biggest fear and greatest hope are the same thing.

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Is that the opening verse of a pop song or what??? Call me, T. Swift.

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It’s true, though. It’s like I’m so terrified of this thing happening, but I also I kind of desperately want it to………….

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So I live in a townhouse and share a wall with neighbors on the left and the right. They are fine folk, kind, agreeable, all that. I work from home so I spend a lot of time inside said townhouse. While I work or do house chores or just generally live, I have music playing. The genres vary depending on my rapidly changing moods. I can go from top 40 to indie to Broadway to Christian to folk to emo jams I used to have as my MySpace songs all in a day’s work. No matter the genre or my mood, I sing along. And I only have one volume. Can you guess what it is? Basically a deafening, blood curdling scream. You would think I would have more consideration for my neighbors, but nah. I’ve got the music in me, what can I do?? I have a sneaking suspicious my neighbors have all heard me at least 39458 times and they make fun of me to their friends. The thought brings me to my knees in terror, but also….do you think they think I’m good? Like, what if they tell their friends that their neighbor is maybe a professional singer and they send recordings of my performances to them to prove my talents??? That would be neat.

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Eventually, I’m going to find a strongly worded letter in my mailbox telling me to invest in a muzzle.

 

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 4-6 cups of arugula or mixed greens
  • 1 spaghetti squash, halved + deseeded
  • 1 butternut squash, peeled + deseeded + cut into cubes
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1 english cucumber, sliced thin
  • 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup of kalamata olives, halved
  • 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of Dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1/3 cup of olive oil + 2 tbsp.
  • S+P, to taste
  • Pumpkin seeds, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange spaghetti squash halves on a baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P, arrange cut side down
  • Line another baking sheet with foil + arrange butternut squash in an even layer + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Bake both for 40-45 minutes, tossing butternut squash once in the middle of cooking + checking on your spaghetti squash to make sure it’s not charring
  • Once cooled, pull out the spaghetti squash noodles
  • Meanwhile, combine apple cider vinegar + garlic + Dijon + agave + remaining olive oil + S+P
  • In a bowl, combine tomatoes + cucumber + onion + olives + 1-2 tbsp. of the apple cider vinaigrette, let marinate until ready to serve
  • To serve, arrange some greens on a plate + top with spaghetti squash + butternut squash + marinated veggies + pumpkin seeds + a lil more dressing
  • Hopscotch your fork from squash to squash, getting a lil bit of everything on your utensil, then slingshot it all into your pie hole, repeat until you are full or your wrist is exhausted from slingshotting