Fingerling Potato Salad

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So…. how we feeling, everybody?!

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Hopefully, you are quarantined, chilling, maxing & relaxing, & washing the heck out of your hands!

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We are going to get through this, my people.

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Because I practically live the quarantine life 100% of the time, I thought I could provide some tips that help me not go stir crazy. First, develop crippling social anxiety that makes the thought of leaving your house to hang out with friends paralyzing. If you’re not able to do that, FaceTime some different pals every night! Next, pick up a new hobby like stalking every move of The Bachelor franchise stars. If that’s not your thing, maybe read some nice books! Lastly, order your husband to do all sorts of chores you have been putting off around the house. If he refuses, consider doing them yourself!

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Hope these help. I’m here for you!!!

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cookjng) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of fingerling potatoes, washed + quartered
  • 2 cups of greens, spinach + kale used here
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/2 cup of stone ground mustard
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1/2 tsp. of garlic powder
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Bring a pot of salted water to a boil
  • Gently add taters + boil until tender, about 8 or so minutes
  • In a large boil, add greens + lemon juice + some S, massage a lil
  • Whisk together mustard + olive oil + garlic powder + S+P
  • Add warm, drained potatoes to the bowl with the greens + add mustard, stir well
  • Serve warm or chilled
  • Eat a bunch of taters for dinner like I did, your lil tummy pooch will keep you warm

 

Adapted from here!

Peanut Butter Hummus

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So, how about them Cowboys, eh?

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I’m just trying to bring a little levity to the situation.

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Because I fear our world is in the midst of pure chaos.

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The coronavirus is the giant, infectious, elephant in the room, if you dare enter a room with more than a handful people in it. There’s nowhere to turn to get away from it! It’s taken over the news, social media, workplaces, businesses. I hardly remember what life was like when I could just go into an establishment and not judge everyone by their sniffles. I’m not overly concerned I will personally catch it, but I do worry about everyone else! I also spend 90% of my life in my house, so I’m practically quarantined every day. My mom called me in a panic last night that her grocery store was out of toilet paper and she waited in the checkout line for 20+ minutes. Naturally, I forced Garrett to go with me to our grocery store to stock up. It was so calm… like eerily so.

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But I did snag a big pack of Charmin, so success!

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1/3 cup of coconut sugar
  • 1/2 cup of creamy peanut butter
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened plain almond milk
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1/4 cup of dark chocolate chips
  • Pinch of S

How to:

  • In a food processor, combine chickpeas + coconut sugar + peanut butter + almond milk + vanilla + S
  • Process until smooth
  • Pour in a bowl + fold in some chocolate chips + top with the rest
  • Cover + refrigerate for several hours until ready to serve
  • Serve with some lil graham crackers
  • Using graham cracker, smear some hummus all over face + add some cucumbers to your eyes, enjoy the exfoliation

 

Adapted from here!

Tomatillo + Kiwi Salsa

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I am a Real Housewife of middle-class, suburban North Carolina.

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Thanks, in part, to the bougie weekend I just had.

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I was in Florida for a bachelorette party and I felt like I was living the life of the rich and the famous.

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We were in a super dope house in a ritzy neighborhood and there was this mega-ginormous pool with this crazy water fountain like out of that pivotal scene in Clueless. Then a party bus came to pick us up and cart us around all evening. I don’t know much about their salaries, but my guess is that party bus drivers are grossly underpaid. They have to drive dozens of screaming girls around into the wee hours of the night without any sort of libation to ease the headache. They have to listen to someone else’s blaring music (there was a lot of O-Town and Leann Rhimes’ version of “The Rose”) without saying a peep. These guys are saints! Saturday we had a PRIVATE SUSHI CHEF come to the house and cook for us all night. The spread he made! I sat back, eating my 18th piece of a vegan roll topped with lemon zest, just taking it all in and realized, “I am meant to be wealthy and do this all the time.”

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And that is how I became inspired to ask Garrett to consider taking a second job.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: a big ole tub of salsa

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of tomatillos, rinsed + quartered
  • 1 kiwi, peeled + sliced thin
  • 1/2 red onion, diced
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1/2 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • Pinch of sugar
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Chips for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven’s broiler
  • Arrange tomatillos on a baking sheet + drizzle with olive oil
  • Broil for 10-15 minutes, checking every two to three to make sure they aren’t browning too quickly, remove once browned to your desire
  • While tomatillos cool, place kiwi + onion + jalapeno + cilantro + lime + sugar + some S+P in a food processor, pulse until combined but still chunky
  • Add tomatillos + puree again until it’s the consistency you desire, adjust seasoning to taste
  • Chill for a couple of hours
  • Serve chilled or room temp with chips
  • Dunk face into salsa + let kiwi + tomatillo nutrients nourish your crackling skin

 

Adapted from here!