Fig Jam Pizza


I wish I was 13 years old again and my greatest joy in life was learning a new cheat code in The Sims.


I wasn’t a cool 13-year-old, OK?


If I could calculate it, I’d likely discover I spent the better part of my adolescence behind a giant Dell computer screen making fictional families comprised of me, my school crushes and lots of children with my favorite names at the time – Juliet, Katarina, Trevor, etc.


I’d build extravagant houses and paint all of the walls hot pink and lime green and fill the backyard with like 6 hot tubs. My character’s career path was ALWAYS music and I mastered the guitar in like 3 days and painted in my spare time. I always made my husband (better known as my 7th grade flavor of the week) a doctor and when, in real life, I decided I was totally over him and/or he got a girlfriend (more likely the case), I would make him cheat on me in the game so I could slap him and kick him out. Learning healthy relationship skills from the jump.


The best was when I’d get bored with a family so I’d put them all in the house, remove the doors and watch them go nuts.



Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza


  • 2 lbs of figs, ends trimmed + sliced thin
  • 1 1/2 cup of sugar
  • 1/2 cup of lemon juice
  • 1 pizza crust
  • 2 cups of arugula
  • 1 onion, sliced thin
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine figs + sugar, coat + let sit for 15 minutes, stirring occassionally
  • Transfer figs to a pot + add lemon juice + 1 cup of water, bring to a boil
  • Turn heat down a bit, let simmer for 40-45 minutes, until jam is sticky + runny to your desire
  • If you want chunks, leave as is, if not, turn off heat + blend with an immersion blender
  • Transfer to a mason jar + refrigerate
  • Meanwhile, preheat oven to 400 + heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion slice + S+P, let caramelize for 8-10 minutes, remove from pan
  • On a pizza crust, spread some jam + top with onion
  • Bake for 10 minutes or until crisp to your desire
  • Top with arugula + serve warm
  • Put a slice atop your head + run into the streets chanting “I gotta pizza on my head, but don’t call me a pizza head”


Fig jam adapted from here!

Strawberry Caprese Salad


I’m keeping a happy journal.


When I look around a room or outside or do a thing and I feel happy inside, I write down the thing in the journal.


I’m hoping this will improve my mood when I’m in the funkiest of funks and find fault in all the things. Like, maybe I’ll be more inclined to flip through the happy journal when I’m feeling sorry for myself for not having nice dish towels instead of spiraling down the hole of WILL I EVER HAVE NICE THINGS?!


I’ve filled 5 pages worth of happy things so far, and I honestly did not know I had that much sunshine in me. The first entry was pencils and my latest is the smell of gasoline, so anything goes up in this journal. I did make the mistake of letting Garrett flip through it, though, and halfway down page 1 he looked at me funny and asked, “What is wrong with you……..??” I can’t help that sketchy chain restaurants make me happy and are the only places I feel truly at home.


Not having to leave the house was also an entry he was concerned about.



Time: 25 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4


  • 2 cups of strawberries, washed, trimmed + halved
  • 1 cup of cherry tomatoes, washed + halved
  • 1/2 of an avocado, sliced thin
  • 2 tbsp. of fresh basil, chopped
  • 4 cups of packed arugula
  • 1/4 cup of walnuts, chopped
  • 1/3 cup of balsamic vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat vinegar in a sauce pan over low-med heat and reduce for 8-10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, toast walnuts in a dry pan over low-med heat for 2-3 minutes, stir often + don’t burn!
  • Combine strawberries + tomatoes + avocado + basil + arugula + toasted walnuts + olive oil + S+P
  • Drizzle with balsamic reduction + serve immediately
  • Close eyes + pretend you are on a tropical island being fanned by the celebrity of your choosing + nom nom on this salad


Adapted from my girl here!

Grilled Peach Salad

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Why can’t I just have a normal child (dog)?

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Like, we can’t even take her in public she’s such a gremlin.

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It’s my fault, I know. I raised her to believe she could do anything & be anything. It’s just my luck she decided to be a human with a fear of dogs.

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I try to take her to a work picnic where there will be plenty of mutts for interaction. Maybe she’ll be normal this time, you know, do a little butt sniffing & tail chasing. NOPE. She throws a hissy when the first nose gets too close to her bum. I mean, in some ways I’m proud of her for sticking up for what she believes in. In other ways, I’m like wow can you please hide how inept at being a parent I am in public please thanks.

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BRB gotta put her down for her morning nap.



Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2


  • 5 peaches, halved
  • 1/2 red onion, sliced
  • 6 cups of packed arugula + spinach
  • 1/4 cup of balsamic vinaigrette
  • 1/4 cup of gorgonzola cheese
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • On a hot grill, arrange peach halves
  • Grill for 5-6 minutes or until slightly charred
  • Once cool, remove skins + cut into thin slices
  • In a large bowl, combine arugula + onion + S+P
  • Stir in peaches + vinaigrette
  • Top with gorgonzola
  • You can have thirds of this + I won’t even judge