Autumn Harvest Salad

fullsizeoutput_3e4

My husband is going off the grid.

fullsizeoutput_390

He’s going underground, living on the lam, getting out of dodge!

fullsizeoutput_3ae

Also, he’s just deleting social media.

fullsizeoutput_3cc

Much to my chagrin, he’s slowly but surely deleting all his accounts. He claims it’s terribly addicting and bad for our mental health or something?? Idk. What I do know is that it’s downright selfish! He’s just not thinking about me and Topanga and all of the cute photos he, exclusively, has captured over the years! If Topanga had thumbs and could manage her own accounts, this would be a lil less of an issue, but alas. What, we’re just going to sacrifice all of our treasured pix to the internet Gods? Our memories scattered to the wind?? (Name that movie) I just can’t stand by and let this happen. He’s putting the millennial good name to shame!

fullsizeoutput_3e2

It also means I’m going to lose a follower and that’s simply not good for MY mental health.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 acorn squash, tops trimmed off + cut into rounds
  • 1 head of purple cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 3 beets, peeled + tops trimmed off
  • 2 parsnips, sliced in lil rounds
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 2 shallots, sliced thin
  • Spinach, for serving
  • 2 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Place squash rounds + parsnips on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Place cauliflower on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Place chickpeas + shallots on another lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Wrap each beet in its owl lil piece of foul + drizzle each with 1 tbsp. olive oil + S+P, place on another baking sheet
  • Roast all your veggies for 15 minutes, toss (no need to toss beets obvio) , cook chickpeas another 5-7, cauliflower + squash another 10-15, until browned to your desire + beets another 15 minutes
  • Meanwhile, combine apple cider vinegar + remaining olive oil + dijon mustard + garlic in a lil bowl
  • To serve, top spinach with all your roasted veggies + drizzle with your dressing
  • Light all your pumpkin waffle flavored candles + smash face down onto plate, rubbing throughly in all veggies

 

Barley + Brussels Bowls

fullsizeoutput_2cd

I don’t consider myself super vain.

fullsizeoutput_2ad

Just, like, a normal amount of vain.

fullsizeoutput_2cc

So this afternoon, when I discovered a glistening gray hair atop my head, my meltdown was only like an 8/10.

fullsizeoutput_2b5

I’m only 27, I have barely even lived! I simply don’t have the required wisdom to rock the salt and pepper look. I only recently came to grips with the mousy brown ‘do I’ve sported my entire life, it’s too soon for a change! I’m always in awe of women who rock their gray – they are always so gorgeous and confident and I idealize them. I want to be them one day. That day is just not today. I’m also not really interested in dying my hair. Can I dye a single strand? It legit looks like a silver Christmas tassle dangling from my noggin. I just don’t know what could have caused this. My diet and exercise haven’t changed and I have been in a perpetual state of crippling anxiety for 10 years now, so I can’t blame it on an increase in stress. Perhaps it’s time I come to grips with my mortality and embrace my old age.

fullsizeoutput_2cb

Specifically, I look most forward to finally receiving the early bird specials at my favorite chain restaurants.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of barley
  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, trimmed + halved
  • 1 honey crisp apple, peeled + cut in small chunks
  • 2 shallots, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of edamame, cooked
  • 1/4 cup of pumpkin seeds, toasted
  • 1/4 cup of dried cranberries
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Cook barley according to package directions
  • Arrange brussels sprouts on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + sprinkle with S+P, bake for 15 minutes, remove from oven, toss with agave + bake another 10 minutes
  • Arrange apple + shallots on another lined baking sheet + drizzle with remaining olive oil + smoked paprika + S+P, bake 15 minutes, tossing once in the middle
  • Meanwhile, reduce vinegar in a lil sauce pan
  • To serve, combine barley + brussels + apples + shallots + edamame + pumpkin seeds + cranberries + stir with balsamic vinegar
  • Serve warm or room temp
  • Put baggiest sweater on + swaddle self in scarf, pour mug of hot tea + sit by a roaring fire with your sweetie, tossing brussels into one another’s pie holes

Vegan Alfredo Pasta

89D34251-81C1-447C-8DE9-54647C3B43BC

Tomorrow I will go where I never in a million years thought I would go.

299CED99-2452-43AE-8735-26FB352A3B03

A Garth Brooks concert.

5C1685A5-D434-4A1F-B247-2A116BD2F82C

It’s Garr’s birthday weekend. This is how we celebrate in this household.

8FF19991-2287-4226-B772-25775BF19CA4

I don’t know much about Garth, but do hear he puts on an entertaining show. I’m really just into it for Tricia Yearwood. I love that gal. Not her singing, though, she is talented in that department. I’m into her Food Network show. We have entirely opposite eating habits (she’s a lil more fried chicken, I’m a lil more fried chickpea), but I just love her style. I think we’d be pals. Like, I’d like to get together for cocktails with Trish (“may I call you Trish?”) and just hang. Maybe we could cook something together. Something with loads of vegan butter or something.

30289E92-8EB2-48DD-827E-F9AAE8122826

Once I load her with carbs, I will audition for her and solidify my future in fame.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • Trader Joe’s butternut squash pumpkin-shaped pasta shells, cooked to al dente
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 4 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 4 tbsp. of all-purpose flour
  • 2 cups of plain almond milk
  • 6 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1/2 cup of frozen peas
  • 1/4 cup of sage, chopped
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat 3 tbsp. of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat
  • Add garlic, cook for a minute, stirring
  • Add flour, stir to combine
  • Add almond milk 1/4 cup at a time, stirring constantly, cook for 2 minutes
  • Add sauce to a food processor + nutritional yeast + garlic powder + plenty of S+P, process until smooth
  • Add sauce back to skillet + bring to a bubble, reduce heat + stir until thickened
  • Meanwhile in another skillet, heat remaining olive oil over medium heat
  • Add sage + cook for 4-5 minutes, drain on paper towel
  • Add pasta + red pepper + peas + sage + some S+P, stir to coat
  • Serve hot
  • Spread lil alfredo punkins all across table + create autumn mosaic, then destroy with mouth

 

Alfredo from here:

https://minimalistbaker.com/30-minute-vegan-alfredo-vegan-gf/