Avocado Pesto Pasta

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Today is probably the biggest day of my life.

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My child turns 10. Double DIGITS!!!!!!

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Topanga wants you all to know, though, she’s a youthful 10 and plans to live another decade.

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We’re OBVIOUSLY throwing her a birthday pawty (see what I did there) this weekend. Complete with a new pink, sequined dress and party hat. We also ordered rose gold party decorations – very classy. Today I ordered some pup cakes – topped with peanut butter & cream cheese frosting & rainbow sprinkles. You could say I’m the best mother in the entire world. Oh, and we invited no other dogs, so she could be the star, of course. She has, however, requested everyone out by 9pm sharp so she can get her full 8 hours of beauty sleep. She’s very regimented in her old age.

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Don’t let me forget to brush her teeth before the party, her rotting old lady teeth reek.

 

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 a ripe avocado
  • 1 cup of fresh basil leaves
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of pine nuts, + more for serving
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 1 package of whole wheat pasta
  • 1 broccoli crown, cut in florets
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • In a food processor, combine avocado + basil + garlic + pine nuts + lemon juice + nutritional yeast + S+P
  • Pulse + drizzle in 1 tbsp. of olive oil + a lil water if needed to thin out the pesto
  • Refrigerate until ready to use
  • Meanwhile, arrange broccoli on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with remaining olive oil + S+P
  • Roast for 25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta to al dente, drain + add back to the pot with the heat off
  • Stir in pesto + broccoli + more S+P, if needed
  • Serve warm with more pine nuts
  • Play a fun game where you can see how many noodles you can fit on a fork + subsequently your mouth

 

Pesto adapted from here!

Avocado + Charred Corn White Pizza

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Want to know how to keep the romance alive in your marriage?

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I have some tried and true tips for you.

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When there is an overly commercialized holiday like Valentine’s Day, first things first. At the very last minute, get each other grocery store cards featuring lil animals. Accompany the card with some candy that the other person does not want and will inevitably take to work to share with colleagues.

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To fully celebrate the occasion, plan to do absolutely nothing. Less than nothing. Crawl into your hermit shells and hibernate, in fact. When you get hungry, make some homemade pizzas at like 3pm and eat them standing up at the kitchen counter. Then, go for a walk around town to work off the many carbs you just consumed. Come back home, put on your fugliest sweats and make the man watch Netflix original teen rom coms. Get in bed by 8pm – SHARP! Read a few chapters of your books. Lights out by 9pm.

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Keeping it spicy!

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza

Ingredients:

  • 1 avocado, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of corn
  • 1/2 cup of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • Handful of spinach
  • 1/2 cup of fresh basil
  • 1 cup of cashews, soaked overnight
  • 1/4 cup of unsweetened, plain almond milk
  • 2 tbsp. of all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/2 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Pizza crust of your liking (I used a cauli crust here!)

How to:

  • Pulse cashews in a food processor until nice + crumbly
  • Add milk + flour + nutritional yeast + lemon + garlic powder + onion powder + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + most of the basil, reserving a lil for topping, + S+P, process until smooth + creamy
  • Preheat oven to 425
  • In a cast-iron skillet, heat remaining olive oil over medium heat
  • Cook corn for a few minutes, charring + getting some color on those bad boys
  • Spread cashew cream on a crust + top with spinach + corn + tomatoes
  • Bake 13-15 minutes until your crust is done + your tomatoes + spinach or wilted
  • Remove + top with avocado + more basil, serve warm
  • Rub any leftover white sauce on your face + let it harden like a face mask, allowing the cashew nutrients to fully clog your pores

 

Sauce adapted from here!

Sweet Potato + Apple Hash

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2020 is the year of decluttering.

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I want to sell all of my possessions and live in a sterile environment with the bare essentials. I feel like I really just need a bed, a plate or two, a pot and maybe like a hot plate or something.

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Basically, I should just go to jail.

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I need space! Mental and physical space to just roam and focus on the important things in life. Or something. Idk what I’m talking about anymore. But I do know I’m decluttering! This weekend, I’m forcing Garr to help me tackle the kitchen and bathroom cabinets. I want to get rid of at least 1/2 the things we own and organize what remains. He loves when I have a really long honey-do list for him on Saturdays. In addition, I have unsubscribed from almost all emails. Literally only Bath and Body Works can get in touch with me now. I am also off Facebook and my personal instagram. I simply do not have the mental capacity to scroll through social media and process all the selfies and political rants anymore. I’m exhausted. Hopefully with all this mental and physical space I will have the room to find and fulfill my destiny!

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Which is probably just being really good at puzzles and avoiding socialization.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 2 sweet potatoes, peeled + chopped
  • 1 red fuji apple, chopped
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 cup of kale, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • S+P, to taste
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine dijon + soy sauce + garlic + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add tempeh, coat + set aside
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add sweet potatoes + chili powder + smoked paprika + cumin + S+P, cook 8- 10 minutes or until potatoes start to brown on the outside + become tender
  • Add tempeh, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add apple, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Add kale + S+P, cook one more minute
  • Serve warm with some avocado slices
  • Enjoy guilt free knowing you didn’t even cave + add a bucket of rice to this