Buffalo Chickpea Burritos

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What kind of backwoods, boonies town do I live in that we just got recycling cans like yesterday??

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For months, my plastics and cardboard have gone into the TRASH.

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The deforestation and pollution I must have caused. I shudder!

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To make up for the many trees I undoubtedly destroyed, I decided to take a couple of proactive measures. First, I purchased a reusable straw. These are very in right now. It came in a stylish lil pink container with an easy cleaning tool! I used it like 4 times and every time I whipped it out I felt like an environmental crusader, just doing my part one sip at a time. Then I left it at a restaurant, obviously. To compensate, I offered to take the recyclables home after volunteering at church on Sunday. We’re leaving and I throw a giant trash bag full of milk cartons over my shoulder. Garr stops in his tracks and is like, “What are you doing….?” I explained and he is all, no, nope, not happening, we are not starting this. Apparently, he thinks taking recyclables from church might be a gateway drug. Like, eventually I’ll start calling random restaurants and offering to pick up their salvageable materials.

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Ha! He’s funny. I’m not ready for that, I’m still working on my spreadsheet of local shops that don’t recycle.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of cooked chickpeas
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 roma tomato, diced
  • 1 cup of carrots, shredded
  • 1/2 cup of cabbage, shredded
  • 1 avocado, diced
  • 1 cup of buffalo sauce
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tsp of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Tortillas, for serving

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add chickpeas + onion powder + garlic powder + paprika + cumin + chili powder + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes or until starting to crisp
  • Add buffalo sauce, coat + cook another 2 minutes
  • To serve, lay out a warmed up tortilla on a flat surface, top with chickpeas + tomato + carrots + cabbage + avocado
  • Roll up, folding the sides in as you go, until you have a nice lil burrito baby
  • Repeat with remaining ingredients
  • Hold burrito in both hands, length wise, and nibble on it like a corn on the cob, terrifying all your pals

Adobo Jackfruit Nachos

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Marie Kondo has already won 2019 and we’re like two weeks in.

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What a shining beacon of light that little woman is in this dark world of ours.

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If I had that machine from Honey! I Shrunk the Kids, she would be the FIRST person I zap so I can keep her in my pocket and take her with me everywhere I go to remind me to find joy in all of the things.

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If y’all haven’t watched her Tidying Up show on Netflix, get on it! It’s inspiring. Marie goes into these unorganized, semi-disgusting homes and helps these peeps get their act together. She has this incredibly tedious clothes folding method that takes literally triple the amount of time, but the clothes look like the cutest lil packages, so of course I spent my entire Sunday Marie Kondoing my drawers. She also says to clean out your closet by putting all the clothes in a pile and then picking each item up one by one and talking to it a lil and seeing if it sparks joy. Normally, I would make fun of this, but she could tell me to sell all my wordly possessions and devote my life to bank robbery and as long as she says it in her lil giggly voice, I would instantly be like, yes, wow, will do immediately.

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I’m not down with her 30 book minimum, though, someone has gotta talk some sense into that woman.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of jackfruit, drained + chopped
  • 1 7oz. can of chipotle chilis in adobo
  • 1 tsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 russet potato, washed, peeled + cubed
  • 2 carrots, washed, peeled + sliced
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 2 tbsp. of lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of turmeric
  • 1 red onion, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 jalapeno, sliced thin
  • 2 roma tomatoes, diced, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Lime juice, for serving
  • Chips
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Bring potato + carrot to a boil in a lil pot of salted boiling water, boil for 10 minutes, let sit for a few minutes
  • Remove potato + carrot from pot + add to a food processor
  • Add 1 cup of the cooking water + nutritional yeast + lemon juice + apple cider vinegar + onion powder + garlic powder + turmeric + S+P, blend until smooth + combined, add a lil more cooking water if it’s too thick, adjust seasoning to taste
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add 1/2 the red onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add jackfruit + S+P, cook another 5-6 minutes
  • Add all the adobo sauce you can get out of the chipotle chili in adobo can + liquid smoke, simmer + cook for another 5-6 minutes
  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a large cast iron skillet, spray nonstick oil
  • Spread a layer of tortilla chips evenly + top with jackfruit + beans + remaining onion + jalapeno + a lil of your cheese sauce
  • Bake 10 minutes
  • Remove + top with more cheese sauce + tomatoes + avocado + cilantro + drizzle with lime juice
  • Serve warm
  • Bring pan of nachos into living room +  eat the entire pan whilst watching football + yelling at the referees + throwing some chips at the screen when they make bad calls

 

Cheese sauce adapted from here!

Sweet + Spicy Brussels Sprouts Tacos

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I just feel really seen.

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Like, the people I surround myself with really just get me and accept me for who I am.

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As confirmed at my BFF Christmas party during our traditional round of Secret Santa when I opened the most Rachel gift I ever could have dreamed of.

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A hot pink karaoke microphone. Bazinga! Now that’s a thoughtful gift, I tell you. I’m not sure how I made it 27 years without one already. It’s just so daggum handy. We were watching music videos all evening and I was able to sing into my new microphone at a higher volume than my peers thereby drowning out their voices and letting me hear myself better. It obviously has bluetooth so I can play music through it and sing along to my favorite artists or, as intended, to instrumental versions of hits so I can really shine. For some reason, I don’t sound as good on Rehab when dueting with Amy Winehouse. It was also really useful on Christmas Eve when my family played this game where you had to say stupid phrases in equally stupid accents. The echo effect on the mic proved most helpful.

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If your Christmas was half as pleasant as mine, you, my friend, are a lucky lil kitten.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, ends trimmed + brussels halved
  • 1/2 red onion, diced
  • 1/2 small red cabbage, sliced thin
  • 1 can of vegan refried beans
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 tbsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Tortillas, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange brussels sprouts on a lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with olive oil + hot sauce + some S+P
  • Roast 15 minutes, remove + drizzle with agave, roast another 10-15 until crisp to your desire, remove
  • Meanwhile, heat beans in a lil pot
  • To serve, spread a couple of warm tortillas with some refried beans + fill with brussels sprouts + red onion + cabbage + top with cilantro + avocado + drizzle with lime juice
  • Form taco boat with hand + sail these bad boys straight into hole in your face