Grits Goodness Bowl

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What kind of person does it make me that my husband got me a bunch of cleaning supplies for my birthday?

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Let’s back it up a bit. My bday was a month ago, but bub was gone and then I was traveling. Sadly, there’s been no time to celebrate the majestic birth of muah.

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I came home Monday and our bed was piled high with birthday happies.

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All of which are to aid in my second favorite hobby – cleaning the sanctuary that is my house. I got this microwave splatter helmet thing that we can use to cover up foods before we heat them so sauces and such don’t fly all willy nilly. GAME CHANGER. Then, I got these lil motorized brushes to scrub the caked on messes on the stove top. Woah nelly, where have these babies BEEN all my life?! Next came a brand new hand vacuum. Only one of the most convenient household tools in all of the world! This one with a longer lasting charge because DUH. Finally, this angry looking lil woman that you fill with vinegar & put it in the microwave to sanitize it. Like, OK, a thing I absolutely cannot live without. All to say, I have VERY big plans this weekend.

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Oh, and to complete the kewl girl birthday of 2019, a night night mumu in a cactus print.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of grits, uncooked
  • 1 package of tempeh, sliced in thin strips
  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut in florets
  • 1/2 lb. of brussels sprouts, halved
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms
  • 1 bunch of kale, destemmed + roughly chopped
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 2 tsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine kale + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, massage gently + set aside
  • Arrange cauliflower + brussels on 1-2 lined baking sheets (depending on your sheets) + drizzle with 1-2 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast for 20 minutes, toss, roast another 15
  • Meanwhile, whisk 1 tbsp. of olive oil + soy sauce + agave + liquid smoke + hot sauce + cumin + chili powder + some S+P
  • Arrange tempeh in a flat, even layer + pour marinade on top, let sit for a few minutes
  • Heat skillet over medium heat
  • Add some tempeh slices, cooking for 3-4 minutes per side, remove + repeat with all slices
  • Then, heat last bit of olive oil in that same skillet + add mushrooms + S+P, cook for 5-6 minutes
  • Add kale + red pepper + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Meanwhile, cook grits to package directions, once done, stir in nutritional yeast
  • To serve, pour some grits in a bowl + top with tempeh bacon + shroom/kale mix + some cauliflower + brussels sprouts
  • Using hands, scoop up some of your food + catapult it at your sweetie, then just stay seated + calm + see what happens

Grilled PB + Banana + Tempeh Bacon Sammies

 

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Sometimes I surprise myself.

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By how little I know about things I should have been taught in middle school.

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Exhibit A: Garr and I were watching Planet Earth last night. All sorts of animals were doing all sorts of things. About 18 times, I thought to myself, “Didn’t know penguins did that” or “Wow, who knew goats could do that?” Garr’s favorite was when I made the mistake of thinking out loud, “Huh, I didn’t know bears hung out in snow-covered mountains.”

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Then, today’s top news story is the plummeting stock market. I’m listening and I’m like, yes, yes, I’m following. Down = bad; up = good. Simple enough. Then, they start really diving into it… Percentages, points, men in ill-fitting suits running around with little notepads. I find myself thinking, “Do I even know what the stock market really is……….???”

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I have other valuable knowledge, though, like TV, some books and vegan foods.

 

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4 sammies

Ingredients:

  • 12 slices of ezekiel bread
  • 1 1/2 cups of natural PB
  • 1 banana, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of raspberry preserves
  • 1 package of tempeh, sliced in thin strips
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 2 tsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1/2 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • Vegan butter, for grilling sammies

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine soy sauce + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + agave + liquid smoke + hot sauce + cumin + chili powder + some S+P
  • Arrange tempeh slices in a dish + pour marinade over, let them sit for 20 minutes
  • Heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Arrange tempeh slices in a single layer, cook for 2-3 minutes, flip + cook another 2 minutes, remove + put on a plate
  • To build sammies, spread some softened vegan butter on two slices of bread
  • On the unbuttered sides, spread some preserves + on one slice of bread + some PB on another, top PB slice with banana + bacon, put the two together, repeat with remaining sammies
  • Heat some butter in a skillet over low-medium heat, grill sammies for 3-4 minutes on each side
  • Serve warm
  • Put on gloves before handling because the ooey gooey goodness of this melty PB is gonna get all over you

 

Bacon from here!

https://simpleveganblog.com/tempeh-bacon/

Eggplant BLTAs

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OK, OK, I’ll tell you about my toes.

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I just don’t really have any….

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I mean, I have ten ~things~ on the ends of my feet but I’m not sure you can call them toes.

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Let’s set the scene: My big toe and baby toe are the only normal-sized ones. Think the rockstar hand symbol. The second and third lil piggies are webbed. I like to think of them as being on their own plateau. Half of the webbed duo, toe #3, is the smallest one. The nail on this one is about the size of your average food crumb, I’d say. Both feet are identical. It’s a medical miracle, honestly. I used to avoid sandals as much as possible cause evil peeps would make fun. Then I started telling people that I was born toe-less so they cut some off of a dead baby and sewed them on me. That shut ’em up.

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I would include a visual but you might gouge your eyes out and forever lose your appetite.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 sandwiches

 

  • 1 eggplant, peeled + sliced thin on a mandolin
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of Worcestershire
  • 1 tbsp. of honey
  • 1 tbsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1/4 cup of vegan mayo
  • 2 tbsp. of sriracha
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Tomato, for serving
  • Lettuce, for serving
  • Sourdough bread, toasted

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 225 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine olive oil + soy sauce + Worcestershire + honey + liquid smoke + paprika +garlic powder + S+P
  • Arrange eggplant slices on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet
  • Spread some of the sauce onto each slice, flip + spread on other side
  • Bake for 30 minutes or until crisp
  • Meanwhile, combine mayo + sriracha
  • To serve, spread sriracha mayo on two slices of bread + on one slice add lettuce + tomato + avo + eggplant bacon + top with mayo side of the other slice
  • Serve this to your sweetie at a summer picnic + see if he still talks to you

 

 

Bacon adapted from here!

https://minimalistbaker.com/crispy-eggplant-bacon/