Double Chocolate Cakies

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Wait, where did 2015 go?

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I’m not kidding. It was April like two days ago.

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I cannot physically handle how quickly my life is passing by. I have so much to do, so much to say. Like sleep & sing karaoke at the top of my lungs. I just need time to slooooow down a bit. I feel like adult weekends go by so much quicker than my adolescent weekends did. Why??? Perhaps it’s all of the cider I choose to consume on Saturdays. Idk.

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If I were a superhero, my power would be the ability to bend time. Like, speed it up when things are totally miz & slow it down when life is grand. How handy would this be? Your boss is yelling at you & you just *zoom* to the next life event. Then you’re having a picnic with your sweetie & butterflies & hummingbirds are flying around & you just *halt* time & live in that moment for as long as you like. (I’d probably not stay at a picnic for too long, though, because the outdoors)

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I suppose some challenges might arise, though, like when I *halt* time & live in bed for 3 years.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 12

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1/4 cup of cocoa powder
  • 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 1 tsp. of baking soda
  • 1/4 cup of butter, melted
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup of nonfat greek yogurt (I’ve played around with flavored kind & it definitely does not hurt!)
  • 1/2 cup of skim milk
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla
  • A pinch of salt
  • 1 tbsp. of peanut butter
  • 1 bag of chocolate chips (yes, the whole bag)

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 375 degrees
  • In a large bowl, combine flour + cocoa powder + brown sugar + baking soda + salt
  • In another bowl, whisk butter + eggs
  • Whisk eggs into flour mixture
  • Stir in greek yogurt + milk + vanilla + peanut butter (This is a pretty moist batter! Yes, I said moist)
  • Fold in chocolate chips
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop out batter onto a lined baking sheet
  • Bake for 8-10 minutes
  • Serve warm with a glass of milk
  • After you’ve eaten 3, rub the chocolate that got all over your fingers onto your body

 

Chocolate Chip Muffins

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Do y’all know what a muffie is? Yes, muffie. It’s the top, fluffy part of a muffin. & also the name of my alter ego.

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Every modern woman needs one. A pseudonym. A name you tell the Starbucks chick. A name you tell the bartender for your tab. A name you write down on the cocktail napkin & slide across the table to a cutie. (I have never actually done any of this but I am prepared in the event.)

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Muffie just suits me. She is snooty & cute – just like the real me except in pearls & sweater sets. She sips white wine (red stains her teeth) & is the first to start the dance party. She lives by the “no new friends” rule & only likes socializing in intimate exclusive groups. She really just enjoys good, wholesome fun, ya know?

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I really have to take this opportunity to thank Panera Bread for introducing me to muffies. Browsing their pastry selection one afternoon I came across these sweet muffin tops & I just knew. Muffie would be MY cute, fluffy, better half, too.

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Muffie also bakes cause y’all know I don’t do that crap.

 

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: A dozen muffins

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tsp. of baking soda
  • Pinch of salt
  • 2 bananas
  • 1/4 cup of low fat cream cheese
  • 1/4 cup of honey
  • 1 tbsp. of vanilla
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of skim milk
  • 1 egg
  • 3/4 cup of chocolate chips

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine flour + baking soda + salt
  • In a food processor, combine bananas + cream cheese + honey + vanilla + olive oil + milk + egg
  • Whisk wet ingredients into dry
  • Fold in chocolate chips
  • Evenly pour mix into muffin tin
  • Bake for 25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean
  • Eat until you have chocolate all over your face