Barley Risotto

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Big fan of The Oscars over here.

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Love the drama, the fashion, the awards, all of it. I trust them, mostly. (I do not want to talk about the years of Leo snubs.)

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Working on a project with my dad to watch all of the best picture winners. I have a spreadsheet, it’s serious.

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We’re quarantined apart, so can’t watch any together, but thought I’d suggest us watching the same one from afar. This year’s best picture winner is Parasite. Maybe you’ve heard of it, maybe not. When it first came out, I was utterly convinced it was a horror movie. I don’t even know why, the title and the movie poster were just eerie to me! Then it won and a bunch of people paid attention to it and I was ASSURED by the masses it was not a horror movie. It’s just about a family. OK, so maybe just a quiet, melancholy drama, I can dig it! So Garr and I watch this weekend….NO SIR, IT IS A HORROR MOVIE. I suppose the technical term is thriller, but I was absolutely horrified. And I couldn’t even look away during the scary parts because it’s in Korean and I have to read the subtitles the entire time or I’d miss something!!!! Torture.

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Garrett really loved it, if that reveals any major plot points to you.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of barley, uncooked
  • 1 zucchini, cut into rounds + halved
  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1 red bell pepper, chopped
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Arrange cauliflower + zucchini on a lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Bake for 20-25 minutes, tossing once
  • Cook barley to package directions, but go low + slow, stirring often so it gets creamy like a risotto
  • Meanwhile, combine remaining olive oil + lemon juice + S+P in a lil bowl
  • Add cooked barley to a bowl + add roasted cauli + zucchini + raw tomatoes + red pepper + cilantro + S+P
  • Drizzle with lemon dressing
  • Serve warm or chilled
  • Wash your grubby hands first, then dig in with a miniature shovel

Broccoli + Grain Salad

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Reason 23,085 I’m not meant to live in the south: my daggum ‘do can’t take it.

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The combination of humidity and high winds does truly unspeakable things to my hair.

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We went to Charleston for the weekend and they were having tornado-like winds the whole time. Ya girl had her hair up IN A PONYTAIL. Tragic!!!!

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Apart from the hair debacle, we had a delightful time. We frolicked and explored and took in some sights and only a few folks did double takes at what the heck was atop my head (my messy bun frightens people). Charleston’s food scene is pretty dope and I ate like a right queen. Garr & I are high key obsessed with Netflix’s Chef’s Table and have been jonesing to visit one of the featured restaurants. We finally checked that off the bucket list this weekend and it was just superb. They made me a vegan entree without any hassles and it was basically just a bunch of side dishes but we all know that’s the best part of the meal anyways. G must have had a stroke or something when he placed his order because he chose snapper and he doesn’t like seafood?¿ It was swimming in a lil broth and it reminded him of a time he was camping and surviving off the land and he and his pals had the great idea to boil a fish they caught in a stew they were making and it turned gray and tasted like dirt. So, slightly different experiences.

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We ended the evening at a hot pink champagne & caviar bar & I decided then & there that I simply MUST have such a room in my next home.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup of red lentils, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of quinoa, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of barley, uncooked
  • 2 heads of broccoli, washed + cut into florets
  • 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup of almonds, toasted + chopped
  • 1/4 cup of pomegranate seeds
  • 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • 1/2 tbsp. of sugar
  • 1/4 cup + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice + zest of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/2 tsp. of dijon mustard
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Add onions to a jar or bowl, top with apple cider vinegar + sugar + 1 tsp. of S + 1 cup of warm water, cover + refrigerate until you’re ready to serve
  • Cook grains according to package directions, drain + set aside
  • Arrange broccoli on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast for 25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, combine remaining olive oil + lemon juice + zest + dijon + S+P
  • To serve, combine grains + broccoli + pickled red onions (minus their juice) + almonds + pomegranate seeds + dressing
  • Serve warm, room temp or chilled
  • Place self in a high chair + feed self with hands like lil doll baby you are

 

Barley + Brussels Bowls

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I don’t consider myself super vain.

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Just, like, a normal amount of vain.

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So this afternoon, when I discovered a glistening gray hair atop my head, my meltdown was only like an 8/10.

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I’m only 27, I have barely even lived! I simply don’t have the required wisdom to rock the salt and pepper look. I only recently came to grips with the mousy brown ‘do I’ve sported my entire life, it’s too soon for a change! I’m always in awe of women who rock their gray – they are always so gorgeous and confident and I idealize them. I want to be them one day. That day is just not today. I’m also not really interested in dying my hair. Can I dye a single strand? It legit looks like a silver Christmas tassle dangling from my noggin. I just don’t know what could have caused this. My diet and exercise haven’t changed and I have been in a perpetual state of crippling anxiety for 10 years now, so I can’t blame it on an increase in stress. Perhaps it’s time I come to grips with my mortality and embrace my old age.

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Specifically, I look most forward to finally receiving the early bird specials at my favorite chain restaurants.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of barley
  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, trimmed + halved
  • 1 honey crisp apple, peeled + cut in small chunks
  • 2 shallots, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of edamame, cooked
  • 1/4 cup of pumpkin seeds, toasted
  • 1/4 cup of dried cranberries
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Cook barley according to package directions
  • Arrange brussels sprouts on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + sprinkle with S+P, bake for 15 minutes, remove from oven, toss with agave + bake another 10 minutes
  • Arrange apple + shallots on another lined baking sheet + drizzle with remaining olive oil + smoked paprika + S+P, bake 15 minutes, tossing once in the middle
  • Meanwhile, reduce vinegar in a lil sauce pan
  • To serve, combine barley + brussels + apples + shallots + edamame + pumpkin seeds + cranberries + stir with balsamic vinegar
  • Serve warm or room temp
  • Put baggiest sweater on + swaddle self in scarf, pour mug of hot tea + sit by a roaring fire with your sweetie, tossing brussels into one another’s pie holes