Penne alla Vodka


It’s been 7 long years since I first tried to convince my husband to watch The Office.


It is in my top 5 favorite shows of all time – a list he is quite familiar with because I refer to it biweekly.


I’ve literally begged him over the years to watch it, knowing he’ll pee pee his pants from laughter.


I’d like to thank the meme revolution for broadening my husband’s sense of humor and making him open to other giggle-inducing medias. FINALLY, we are binging it. This man is loving this darn show. Like, his face turns red and he does these adorable big belly laughs. He turned to me last night and was like, “Wow, why have I put off watching this show for so long???” Through gritted teeth I explain – Well, DEAR, you see, sometimes you purposefully don’t do things I ask in order to annoy me, it’s truly one of your most endearing qualities and makes me fall more in love with you each day.


To no one’s surprise, he’s really connecting with Kevin’s character.


Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6


  • 1 package of whole wheat pasta
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 3 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes
  • 1 14 oz. can of diced tomatoes
  • 1 14 oz. can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes (if you can’t take the heat, get another can of the regular or a big 28 oz. can of it)
  • 1/2 cup of vodka
  • 1 cup of cashews, soaked overnight
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Basil, for serving

How to:

  • Cook pasta to al dente, drain + set aside
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a pan over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add tomatoes + vodka + crushed red pepper + S+P, cook 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, pulse cashews in a food processor until smooth
  • Add tomato sauce into food processor with cashew cream + process until smooth
  • Return silky sauce to pan with some S+P, simmer another 5-7 minutes
  • Turn off heat + stir in pasta + basil
  • Serve hot with more fresh basil
  • Be like me + eat lunch, then make this + even though you’re not hungry, eat a big bowl of it anyways

Heirloom Tomato Tart


My BFF spent 12 days in WA with me.


Would your BFF fly across the country & spend 12 days with you because your husband is out playing in the woods for work? No, that’s the answer.


Everyone was all, “Aren’t y’all going to get sick of each other?” And we were all, “Obvio, but we’ll just slap each other around a bit and get over it like normal people.”


We did all of the things – went to all of the cities, ate all of the vegan food (& cheated on our diets a bit – PLS LOVE ME I’M ONLY HUMAN!!!), went on long walks, saw Coldplay in concert (v casual), ate more food, watched some sad TV, and ended the visit with a trip to Whole Foods because I am a really adventurous host. I offered to let her be my assistant/doggy nanny and told her she could live in the guest bedroom for a small rent & cleaning fee, but, sadly, she returned to Memphis.


Luckily, we have matching shark tattoos to remember it all by.



Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 tart


  • 10 sheets of phyllo dough, thawed
  • 1 lb. of heirloom tomatoes, washed + sliced thin
  • 1 shallot, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of basil, chiffonaded
  • 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs
  • 7 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, for taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 375
  • Brush a baking sheet with 1 tbsp. of  oil
  • Lay a sheet of phyllo dough + brush with 2 tsp. of olive oil + sprinkle with 1 tsp. of breadcrumbs
  • Top with another sheet of dough + repeat
  • Bake for 20-25 minutes or until golden + crisp to your desire
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over low-med heat
  • Add shallot + S+P, cook for 5-6 minutes
  • To serve, top warm dough with tomatoes + shallot + basil + some S+P
  • Cut it up + serve warm
  • Make a fist + punch your tart until it all crumbles into lil bits making it easier for you to vacuum up with your pie hole


Original idea from here!


Homemade Fettuccine + Red Sauce


I’m transitioning to a vegan.


I think.


There is just so much to consider. My biggest dilemma being what do I substitute for my daily bagel and cream cheese schmear?! I can obvio keep the bagel, but what do I spread all over it? I don’t want peanut butter and I don’t want to make a weekly vat of vegan cream cheese, how daunting. Don’t even bother suggesting I eat it plain, I am not a monster.


Other considerations: skim milk to dunk my Oreos in, Chobani lime yogurt, cheese cubes, cheese slices, shredded cheese, melted cheese, the rice at my favie Mexican restaurant that is covered in cheese, delivery pizza, grilled cheese, butter, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, cheesy grits, cheesy potatoes, to name a few that come to mind.


Also, I told my dad this news and he said he’d rather I transition to a man than a vegan so I have a strong support system.



And now a non-vegan recipe lol:

Time: 3 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4


  • 2 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 3 eggs
  • 1/2 tsp. of sea salt
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 5 tomatoes, peeled
  • 3 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup of fresh basil, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1/4 cup of parmigiano reggiano

How to:

  • Combine flour + salt in a large bowl
  • Make a well + add eggs to the center
  • Mix dough
  • Once dough is in a nice lil ball, move from bowl to a floured surface + knead until a smooth ball is formed
  • Wrap in plastic wrap + set aside for 30 minutes-hour
  • Roll out dough as thin as you can, if you have a pasta machine, whip it out you luckies!!!
  • Once thin enough, cut into even strips
  • Bring a pot of salted water to a boil
  • Add the fresh noodles + cook for 3-4 minutes until al dente
  • For sauce, add olive oil to a large pot over medium heat
  • Add garlic, cook for 1-2 minutes
  • Add tomatoes + S+P, simmer for an hour, uncovered
  • Add basil + crushed red pepper, simmer for another hour, covered
  • Transfer to a food processor + process until smooth
  • Pour back in the pot, stir in cheese + adjust seasoning to taste
  • Toss pasta with sauce + serve with extra basil + cheese
  • Put on bib + eat with grubby mitts like your inner fussy toddler



Help came from these guys!