BBQ Chickpea Nachos

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K that was the least entertaining awards show I’ve ever witnessed.

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Y’all know I live for this crap. I showered real quick, put on my frumpiest jammies & poured a cup of hot tea. Only to turn the television on to a total yawnfest.

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I didn’t watch Olive Kitteridge and I’m perpetually unimpressed by Jon Stewart so this really wasn’t my year anyways. But I wanted SOMETHING. No one even said anything controversial. They threw out Donald Trump’s name each time there was a lull in laughter – veeeeery original.

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I did, however, appreciate Amy Schumer keeping it too real & thanking her makeup artist for her smoky eye. You just can’t do that ish yourself.

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& Jon Hamm is an adorable doll baby that I wouldn’t mind keeping in my pocket.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of ketchup
  • 1 cup of mustard
  • 1 cup of water
  • 1 tbsp. of worcestershire
  • 1 tbsp. of tabasco
  • 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 5 tbsp. of brown sugar
  • 1 tbsp. of onion salt
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic salt
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • Tortilla chips
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1 cup of spicy cheese, shredded

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Combine all ingredients through garlic + bring to a boil
  • Reduce heat + simmer for 20 minutes
  • Add chickpeas to BBQ sauce + coat well
  • Arrange chickpeas in a single layer on a lined baking sheet
  • Bake for 25 minutes, stirring once in the middle
  • When done, arrange chips + onion + red pepper + jalapeno + black beans + chickpeas + cheese + the rest of the BBQ sauce on a lined baking sheet
  • Bake for 10 minutes or until cheese is melted
  • Unbutton your pants + buckle up

Jerk Chicken

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I’m happiest when I’m dining at sketchy restaurants.

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I’ve explained my love & devotion to mediocre chain restaurants before. It’s just in my DNA.

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Garr & I tried a new church yesterday & the first thing that has to happen after spending time with Jesus is FOOOOOOOD. I typically cry so much I’m just exhausted & need fuel.

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What is right down the street from this church? YOU GUESSED IT – a Red Robin. Imagine like screeching tires & curb jumping as I force him to turn into the parking lot. No, I don’t eat burgers. Not the point. The POINT is a little something I like to call bottomless french fries. Did we partake? Absolutely. Did I look pregnant the rest of the day? Definitely. WORTH IT.

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So I couldn’t prepare the potatoes I had planned to make with dinner because I literally would have exploded into 1,000 Rachel pieces.

 

 

Time: 3 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 drummies

 

Ingredients:

  • 6 chicken drummies
  • 2 tbsp. of onion salt
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic salt
  • 1 tsp. of white pepper
  • 1 tbsp. of cinnamon
  • 1 tsp. of nutmeg
  • 1 tbsp. of ground ginger
  • 1 tbsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tbsp. of all spice
  • 1 tsp. of coriander
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of cayenne pepper
  • 3 tbsp. of coconut sugar
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • In a large bowl, combine all seasoning + S+P
  • Pat dry chicken + add to the bowl
  • Coat chicken in seasoning + cover the bowl, letting sit in the fridge for 2 hours
  • Preheat oven to 425 degrees
  • Lay chicken on a lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with olive oil
  • Bake for 40-45 minutes, turning once in the middle
  • Serve hot
  • Make more seasoning + put it on everything you eat here on out

 

 

Pulled BBQ Chicken Sandwiches

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My Garrett is HOME!!!!!!!! Did you hear me? HOME! After a month & a half of training, my bub is back in my puny arms.

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Obviously I missed him more than life, but it’s a little odd adjusting to having another human being in the house again. Like, I forgot what a burden it was to have to close the door when I pee.

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However, I feel so blessed I don’t have to take the trash out anymore. I don’t care what you say – I LOVE GENDER ROLES. Leave me in the kitchen while he tinkers on cars & mows the lawn & crap, please.

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My blood pressure did soar a bit when I bought groceries for 2 again. Like, all the darn meat this man requires. I can’t. Are you sure you don’t want to go back to the woods & play some more, honey?

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These were his welcome home gift. Because nothing says “I love you” like meat from a crock pot!

 

 

Time: 18 hours (prep + cooking) ((don’t hate me)) | Serves: 4-5 sandwiches

Ingredients:

  • 2 lbs. of boneless, skinless chicken breast
  • 1 cup of your favie BBQ sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of worcestershire
  • 1 tbsp. of rice wine vinegar
  • 1/4 cup of brown sugar
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1/2 tsp. of garlic salt
  • 1/2 tsp. of onion salt
  • 1/2 head of red cabbage, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of honey
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • S+P, to taste
  • Hoagies, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, whisk together BBQ sauce + worcestershire + vinegar + brown sugar + cumin + crushed red pepper + garlic salt + onion salt + S+P
  • S+P your chicken breasts on both sides
  • Add chicken + BBQ mix to a Ziploc bag + let marinate overnight
  • In the morning, add chicken to a crock pot + turn on low for 8 hours
  • Shred the chicken + let cook another 20 minutes
  • Meanwhile, in a bowl, combine cabbage + olive oil + honey + mustard + S+P
  • To serve, layer chicken + cabbage on a bun
  • Pour crock pot remnants on body