Pesto Cauliflower with Butter Beans + Blistered Tomatoes

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I think I had my first hot flash.

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At 28. Is that even possible?

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Farewell, cruel world. I’m out.

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I’m getting ready for bed two nights ago and all of a sudden I am overcome with heat. Like I can feel my scalp get hot and start to dampen. My cheeks flush. I feel like I am going to burst out of my skin. I accuse Garrett of turning off the air and/or poisoning me. I’m like running around the house trying to figure out what is happening to make me so hot. Air is working, fan is on, everything is normal. It’s me. I’m just boiling from the inside out. These are just as terrible as Diane Keaton has always told us. I’m sorry, I simply won’t survive anymore of these. I hope someone is working on a menopause pill that allows us to bypass these symptoms. I only calmed down after ripping off all my clothes and standing in front of the oscillating fan for 20 minutes while contemplating aging and my mortality. It was a dark day.

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I’ve tried to since convince myself it was just the summer heat and I’m a delicate southern belle who must be fanned and tended to with iced teas and fresh hankies to dab at my sweaty brow.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1 can of butter beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/4 cup of sundried tomatoes, chopped
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, rinsed + halved
  • 1 cup of basil
  • 1 cup of spinach
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/3 cup + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine basil + spinach + walnuts + nutritional yeast + 1 tbsp. of garlic + lemon juice + S+P
  • Process while drizzling in 1/3 cup of olive oil until smooth
  • Thin with a little water if necessary
  • In a bowl, toss cauliflower with half of the pesto
  • Arrange on a lined baking sheet
  • Bake 30-35 minutes, tossing once, until browned to your desire
  • Meanwhile, heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add beans + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add sundried tomatoes + crushed red pepper, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Remove from pan
  • Add tomatoes to hot skillet with S+P, cook 4-5 minutes
  • To serve, arrange some cauli on a plate + top with beans + tomatoes + remaining pesto
  • On your plate, create a cauli road for you to traipse down with your scarecrow friend + find magical adventure + fun

Butterbean + Avocado Toast

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They told me marriage would be hard.

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That we’d have to work at it every single day.

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But I thought we’d be different. We’d beat the odds. But no one prepared me for the biggest marital threat of all.

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The thermostat. I’m not exaggerating when I say we argue about the thermostat AT LEAST twice everyday. Cozy is really my only aspiration in life. I just want to be comfortable in lil socks, leggings, a tee & perhaps a light sweater. I should NOT have to wear a parka, earmuffs and mittens in my home. It’s cruel! I’m a very normal, 72 degree type of girl. That’s the perfect indoor temperature no matter the season. Garr, on the other hand, would like it at 65 degrees with all ceilings fans on full blast at all times. Yes, he wants me to contract pneumonia. His absolute favorite line to me when I complain or put my ice cold hands on his face, “You can put on more layers, I can only get so naked.” I’m sorry, just because you sweat like a stuffed pig, I’m supposed to freeze to death?!

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When we buy our home, we’re each getting our own wing.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2

Ingredients:

  • 4 pieces of ezekiel bread, toasted
  • 2 avocados, mashed
  • 1 can of large butter beans, drained (I looked all over for fresh + couldn’t find any – if anyone knows the hookup, let me know!)
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/3 cup of sundried tomatoes, chopped
  • 1 tsp. of lemon juice
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add beans, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add sundried tomatoes + lemon juice, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add crushed red pepper + S+P, stir to coat + turn off heat
  • Meanwhile, add some S+P to your avo mash
  • To assemble, spread a piece of toast with avo + top with butter beans
  • Repeat with remaining ingredients
  • Once you’ve devoured, refer to yourself as Butterbean and force your sweetie to do the same

Quinoa + White Bean Puttanesca

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A thing I thoroughly enjoy is going to the movies.

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I really only do it like once in a blue moon.

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For one, it’s like $173 to catch a flick. For two, my husband hates going to the movies because it requires his full attention and complete stillness for two hours.

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My dad knows this truth and uses it to his dark advantages. Using voodoo magic and witchcraft, he convinces me to go see John Wick 3 with him while I was home last week. Obviously this is not a storyline I’m remotely interested in, but I wanted the movie-going experience and the fellowship with my father. Seeing as the last two movies I’ve seen have been in local, nonprofit theaters, I was overwhelmed upon entering a real multiplex. The sights, the smells. It’s truly thrilling! Although we’d just consumed our weight in chips and salsa, pops insists on a cola and popcorn. I’m appalled at his appetite. I’m all, “How can you eat anything else?!” He’s all, “Oh, please. It’s a part of the experience! What would you like?” I’m like, “Eww I don’t want anything…..but if I did, I’d want some chocolate.” He steps up to the counter and orders a triple play – popcorn, soda and a candy. He turns to me and says it’s my job to choose the candy. I panic! The choices are practically endless. Nothing is vegan. The line behind me is growing. I scream, “BUNCHA CRUNCH!!!” I’ve never seen my dad more disappointed in me in my entire life.

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Of course, I ate all of the nasty candy mixed with bites of popcorn (gotta have that salty & sweet bite, ya know) and I almost walked out of John Wick after he gouged a man’s eye out in the first 10 minutes.

 

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 red onion, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 can of diced tomatoes
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of roasted red peppers, chopped
  • 1 pint of grape tomatoes, halved
  • 1 cup of spinach, packed
  • 2 tbsp. of capers, drained
  • 1/2 cup of basil, chiffonaded
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add the beans, cook for 5 minutes
  • Add the diced tomatoes, bring to a simmer, reduce heat back to medium
  • Stir in peppers + tomatoes + capers, simmer another 5 minutes
  • Add spinach + basil + crushed red pepper + S+P, simmer 2 more minutes
  • Turn off heat + stir in cooked quinoa
  • Serve warm (or chilled – tastes great the next day)
  • Using a spoon as your slingshot, fling some of this food into your sweetie’s mouth + have him/her return the favor until you’re both fat + happy + covered in food

 

 

Adapted from here!