Vegan Hot Dish

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Tater tots hold a special place in my heart.

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And my gut.

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I’ve mentioned it before, but I used to be what some call a picky eater.

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Hot dogs and chicken nuggets were my main food groups. Growing up we dined out a lot. Probably because I threw a fit every time they tried to serve me pork chops and apple sauce or some crap. I frequented the local Sonic Drive-In regularly with my pops. By regularly, I mean weekly, I’m pretty sure. After two bites of whatever heinous dinner they tried to shove down my throat, I would kick and scream and Greg would drive us to the local Sonic for limeades and wait for it…… cheese tots. Your girl used to drown her adolescent sorrows all up in some cheesy tots. I just have the fondest memories of my dad introducing me to Conway Twitty and listening to the top 40 radio countdown shows (I have a vivid memory of Vitamin C’s “Graduation” being number 1 for a considerable amount of time and IT WAS MY JAM) while sitting in our spot at Sonic.

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I don’t eat cheese now, but I can tell you with absolute certainty I will have cheese tots again one day.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 2 red peppers, chopped
  • 1 green pepper, chopped
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 can of corn, drained
  • 1 can of fire roasted tomatoes
  • 1 package of cauliflower tater tots
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add peppers + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add beans + corn + tomatoes + spices + S+P, bring to a simmer + cook 3-4 minutes
  • Turn off hot + top with tots
  • Bake 20 minutes
  • Broil for 2-3 minutes until tots get crispy
  • Serve warm with cilantro
  • Scoop a heaping helping of this into a bowl + go to daggum town on this grub

Broccolini + White Beans over Cauli Cous Cous

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When I die, just bury me in CenturyLink Field.

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My addiction to the Seattle Seahawks is impacting my health.

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I can’t sleep, I overeat, it’s a problem.

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Last night, they played at 8:15pm. Well, ya girl is SNOOZING by 9pm, so this presented a major problem. I watched for a few minutes, then shut it off at promptly 8:58pm, telling myself I would wake up to the outcome and be OK no matter what. I plumb SHOT out of bed at midnight & the first thing I did was check the final score. SEAHAWKS WIN, BABAY. Well, now I’m obviously too hyped up to sleep. I spend the rest of the evening tossing and turning with joy and faint anxiety that I dreamt the win as opposed to it being real. I legit woke up 6 more times dreaming of Russell Wilson and company just tossing the pigskin and being my baby boys.

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We’re going to a game in a couple of weeks & I might just have Garrett leave me there & I’ll find work in a hotdog kiosk.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 bunch of broccolini, trimmed
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, drained + rinsed
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1 shallot, sliced thin
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 cauliflower, riced in a food processor
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Pomegranate seeds, for serving
  • Hummus, for serving

How to:

  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a cast-iron skillet over medium heat
  • Arrange broccolini in an even layer + add S+P + crushed red pepper, cook + char all over, 6-8 minutes
  • Remove + add another tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add shallot + S+P, cook 2-3 minutes
  • Add beans + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Remove + add remaining olive oil
  • Add tomatoes + S+P, cook for 5-6 minutes until nice + blistered
  • Meanwhile, add 1/2 cup of water to the bottom of a large skillet + add S+P, bring to a simmer
  • Add cauliflower rice, bring to a simmer, reduce heat + cover + cook for 10 minutes, season with S+P
  • To serve, arrange cauli cous cous on a plate + top with broccolini + beans + tomatoes + top with pomegranate seeds + hummus
  • Mix up all the goodness + slingshot bits of food into your own mouth without damaging an eyeball

Beet Burgers

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I just want to be the kewlest house in the neighborhood.

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I can never win at being the kewlest person in any given group ever, but maybe my house can win.

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Certainly not for any sort of interior decorating or gardening competition, oh no. I have no talents or time for such things.

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I just mean among the neighborhood children out trick-or-treating. Garr & I are going to church this evening and while I loathe the thought of missing toddlers in dinosaur costumes and the chance to lure one into my home and keep forever, we must get our Jesus on. So I got a couple of bags of GOOD candy – no off brand junk in this house! I’m talking Snickers, M&Ms & the queen – Reese’s. I put it all in a bowl & have it on the front porch with a sign that reads to take as much as you want. Like, I want some little kid to pick up that bowl and dump the entire thing in his pillow case & run back to his mom screaming about his haul. It’s two-fold, really. I’m generous AF and I don’t want to binge candy tonight because I know I have no self control. Honestly, the only level of rich I want to get to is just rich enough to buy full size candy bars & pass out 12 dozen to each kid at Halloween.

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Do you think the parents would mind if I set up a camera to capture footage of their dressed up kids to just have for my personal archives of cuteness?

 

 

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 3 beets, washed + peeled
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 2 cups of white button mushrooms, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts, finely chopped or crushed in a food processor
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of soy sauce
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns, for serving
  • Arugula, for serving
  • Tomato sliced, for serving

How to:

  • Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add mushrooms + S+P, cook another 5-6 minutes
  • Turn off heat, add in black beans + mash them bad boys all up together with the mushroom mix
  • Add to a bowl
  • Meanwhile, grate your beets using a cheese grater + add to the bowl along with the quinoa + walnuts + cumin + chili powder + smoked paprika + red pepper + soy sauce + some more S+P, mix to combine
  • Place mix in the fridge for 30 minutes and preheat your oven to 400 degrees while you wait
  • Form burgers into patties + arrange on a lined, greased baking sheet
  • Bake for 40 minutes, flipping once in the middle
  • Serve warm on buns with arugula + tomatoes
  • Eat 8 on Halloween + rub any of the beet crumbles on your mouth + hands so it looks like BLOOD

 

Adapted from here!