Vegan Sloppy Joes

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I did it. I’ve taken the plunge.

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I’ve done a swan dive into the deep blue sea that is finally binge watching Friends.

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Why has it taken me this long, you ask? Oh, I don’t know. I’m just not big on conforming.

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This isn’t true. I love rules and following order. 10 seasons of anything is just such a big commitment. Who has the time? Who can stand to see this exquisitely cast ensemble in timeless situations? Who wants to just be blissfully ignorant of the world’s turmoil for perfectly carved out 20 minute blocks of time? Well, everyone unless you are a space alien or someone with a really radical social life. It’s just such a darn good program, ya know? I always LOVED having the same name as Jennifer Aniston’s character. My dad used to tell me, “They gave the prettiest girl the prettiest name.” This gave me a complex for a long time, but man, did I love hearing it! And the CLOTHES! My mother dressed just like them in the 90s and I idolized her style. I wish it was still acceptable for women in their mid to late 20s to sport their bare midriff in any and every situation. How freeing.

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It’s nice watching on Netflix because every like 3 episodes it judges me and asks if I’m still watching.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of kidney beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of lentils, cooked
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 green pepper, diced
  • 12 oz. can of tomato sauce
  • 6 oz. can of tomato paste
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns for serving

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add green pepper, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add tomato sauce + paste + soy sauce + apple cider vinegar + chili powder + cumin + oregano + paprika + red pepper + S+P, bring to a lil boil, turn down heat + simmer for 7-8 minutes
  • Add beans + lentils, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Serve on toasted buns
  • Strap on your bib + pull that hair in your nastiest top knot + just smash your face in a large plate of this

 

 

Adobo Jackfruit Nachos

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Marie Kondo has already won 2019 and we’re like two weeks in.

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What a shining beacon of light that little woman is in this dark world of ours.

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If I had that machine from Honey! I Shrunk the Kids, she would be the FIRST person I zap so I can keep her in my pocket and take her with me everywhere I go to remind me to find joy in all of the things.

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If y’all haven’t watched her Tidying Up show on Netflix, get on it! It’s inspiring. Marie goes into these unorganized, semi-disgusting homes and helps these peeps get their act together. She has this incredibly tedious clothes folding method that takes literally triple the amount of time, but the clothes look like the cutest lil packages, so of course I spent my entire Sunday Marie Kondoing my drawers. She also says to clean out your closet by putting all the clothes in a pile and then picking each item up one by one and talking to it a lil and seeing if it sparks joy. Normally, I would make fun of this, but she could tell me to sell all my wordly possessions and devote my life to bank robbery and as long as she says it in her lil giggly voice, I would instantly be like, yes, wow, will do immediately.

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I’m not down with her 30 book minimum, though, someone has gotta talk some sense into that woman.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of jackfruit, drained + chopped
  • 1 7oz. can of chipotle chilis in adobo
  • 1 tsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 russet potato, washed, peeled + cubed
  • 2 carrots, washed, peeled + sliced
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 2 tbsp. of lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of turmeric
  • 1 red onion, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 jalapeno, sliced thin
  • 2 roma tomatoes, diced, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Lime juice, for serving
  • Chips
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Bring potato + carrot to a boil in a lil pot of salted boiling water, boil for 10 minutes, let sit for a few minutes
  • Remove potato + carrot from pot + add to a food processor
  • Add 1 cup of the cooking water + nutritional yeast + lemon juice + apple cider vinegar + onion powder + garlic powder + turmeric + S+P, blend until smooth + combined, add a lil more cooking water if it’s too thick, adjust seasoning to taste
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add 1/2 the red onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add jackfruit + S+P, cook another 5-6 minutes
  • Add all the adobo sauce you can get out of the chipotle chili in adobo can + liquid smoke, simmer + cook for another 5-6 minutes
  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a large cast iron skillet, spray nonstick oil
  • Spread a layer of tortilla chips evenly + top with jackfruit + beans + remaining onion + jalapeno + a lil of your cheese sauce
  • Bake 10 minutes
  • Remove + top with more cheese sauce + tomatoes + avocado + cilantro + drizzle with lime juice
  • Serve warm
  • Bring pan of nachos into living room +  eat the entire pan whilst watching football + yelling at the referees + throwing some chips at the screen when they make bad calls

 

Cheese sauce adapted from here!

Caribbean Red Bean Soup

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I ruin everything I touch.

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At least all living things.

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Why did I think I could have house plants? Why? I’ve no experience with horticulture. I can barely keep myself alive.

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Everywhere I go, I see succulents and cacti. They are all the rage, as the kids like to say. For a while, I stuck with little fake ones. Joanna Gaines’ Target collection has been really inspirational to my living room. Somewhere along the way I got cocky. Fake succulents are kewl and all, but wouldn’t real ones really spice up this townhouse of ours? I dived in head first. I got a perfect little succulent and a yellow cactus man that looked similar to a prickly lollipop. I had this vision of creating a lil cactus oasis, so I planted them together in hopes they would be the best of friends and keep each other company. Apparently this is not OK? Dead within days. I even bought cactus soil! Next, I planted another succulent in an old candle holder. This one also died within days, but likely because I did not get out all of the candle wax due to my severe laziness?

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I asked Garrett what other things I ruin when I touch them and he said lives. Not untrue.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 2 cans of kidney beans, drained + rinsed
  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 1 medium carrot, chopped
  • 1 habanero pepper, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of ginger, minced
  • 2 cups of coconut milk
  • 1 can of diced tomatoes
  • Juice of 1/2 a lime
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1/2 tsp. of oregano
  • 1/2 tsp. of allspice
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Green onion, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Heat oil in a stock pot over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add carrots + peppers, cook another 3 minutes
  • Add garlic + ginger + S+P< cook another 1-2 minutes
  • Add beans + coconut milk + tomatoes + lime juice + agave + oregano + allspice + S+P + about 2 cups of water, bring to a boil
  • Reduce heat, cook uncovered for 15-20 minutes, taste + adjust seasoning
  • Turn off heat + remove pot from heat
  • Using an immersion blender, blend up alllllll that goodness until smooth + creamy
  • Serve hot with green onion + avocado

 

Idea from here!