Beet Burgers

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I just want to be the kewlest house in the neighborhood.

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I can never win at being the kewlest person in any given group ever, but maybe my house can win.

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Certainly not for any sort of interior decorating or gardening competition, oh no. I have no talents or time for such things.

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I just mean among the neighborhood children out trick-or-treating. Garr & I are going to church this evening and while I loathe the thought of missing toddlers in dinosaur costumes and the chance to lure one into my home and keep forever, we must get our Jesus on. So I got a couple of bags of GOOD candy – no off brand junk in this house! I’m talking Snickers, M&Ms & the queen – Reese’s. I put it all in a bowl & have it on the front porch with a sign that reads to take as much as you want. Like, I want some little kid to pick up that bowl and dump the entire thing in his pillow case & run back to his mom screaming about his haul. It’s two-fold, really. I’m generous AF and I don’t want to binge candy tonight because I know I have no self control. Honestly, the only level of rich I want to get to is just rich enough to buy full size candy bars & pass out 12 dozen to each kid at Halloween.

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Do you think the parents would mind if I set up a camera to capture footage of their dressed up kids to just have for my personal archives of cuteness?

 

 

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 3 beets, washed + peeled
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 2 cups of white button mushrooms, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts, finely chopped or crushed in a food processor
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of soy sauce
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns, for serving
  • Arugula, for serving
  • Tomato sliced, for serving

How to:

  • Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add mushrooms + S+P, cook another 5-6 minutes
  • Turn off heat, add in black beans + mash them bad boys all up together with the mushroom mix
  • Add to a bowl
  • Meanwhile, grate your beets using a cheese grater + add to the bowl along with the quinoa + walnuts + cumin + chili powder + smoked paprika + red pepper + soy sauce + some more S+P, mix to combine
  • Place mix in the fridge for 30 minutes and preheat your oven to 400 degrees while you wait
  • Form burgers into patties + arrange on a lined, greased baking sheet
  • Bake for 40 minutes, flipping once in the middle
  • Serve warm on buns with arugula + tomatoes
  • Eat 8 on Halloween + rub any of the beet crumbles on your mouth + hands so it looks like BLOOD

 

Adapted from here!

Roasted Beet Tacos

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I’m in the best shape of my life.

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That’s really not saying much considering my default state is a giant sack of spoiled potatoes nestled in a couch cushion.

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My daily hot yoga sessions have made me ripped! JK I have like one semblance of a tricep and that’s it, but it’s prob the best I’ll ever get, so I’m milking it.

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Tbh I thought I was ready to like run a marathon or get in a street fight or really take on anything. So when Garr suggested a hike this past weekend I was game. We hiked in WA and I totes held my own – even without triceps! So I fully planned to smoke everyone and come in first place (in the race I created in my mind and shared with no one). I was extra jazzed because G said there was a waterfall at the end of the hike. I was like zomg EPIC photos are about to be ours. I am PUMPED UP. I am pushing it those first 2.5 miles. My breathing is good, I am getting after it. We get to the “waterfall” and it is literally a river surrounded by trees so I can not even take in the majesty of nature and then a couple of like babbling brooks. Womp womp. We got some subpar photos with the trees and recharged with some sammies and kept moving. Ya girl bout fell out on the way back. If Garrett didn’t have a rucksack on his back, I would have absolutely made him carry me to the car.

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It’s been suggested I start doing a lil bit of cardio.

 

 

Time: 1.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 tacos

Ingredients:

  • 6 small beets, cleaned + peeled + cut in 1/2 inch thick quarters
  • 1 zucchini, sliced thin
  • 1/2 red onion, sliced thin
  • 2 tbsp. of sunflower seeds
  • 1 avocado, diced
  • 1/2 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of pure cane sugar
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 6 corn tortillas, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Lime, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a small bowl, combine apple cider vinegar + sugar + 1 cup of warm water + 2 tsp. of S
  • Pour that over a bowl containing your red onion slices, let sit while you prepare the rest of the ingredients
  • Meanwhile, spread beets on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast 30 minutes, tossing once in the middle of cooking
  • Sprinkle your zucchini slices with some S+P
  • Warm your tortillas – I throw mine in a warm oven for a couple of minutes or microwave in a wet paper towel for about 20 seconds
  • Place some beets in a tortilla with zucchini + onions + avocado + seeds + cilantro + some lime juice, repeat
  • Roll these lil guys up like taquitos + let them dangle from your lips like delicate, edible, scrumptious cigarillos

 

Adapted from here!

Buttnernut Squash + Beet Pizza

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My husband just asked what is the difference between the Oscars and the Academy Awards.

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How did I end up with him, honestly?

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It was another successful Oscar Sunday in my household. Snacks were served, a guessing game was played, an exclusive performance by muah of the entire A Star Is Born soundtrack was witnessed.

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Speaking of, will I ever recover from the Gaga/B Coop performance? My dreams for the last three nights tell me no. When they came back from commercial and the camera is filming the audience as the stage hands set up the piano and you hear the opening chords, I was all wait, what, what is happening, what is going on?!? Then, they rise from their seats like friggin PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES and walk hand in hand on stage, I truly almost fainted. I was not mentally prepared. Then they opened their mouths and started singing and my blood began to boil in a positive way. Like, I started to sweat and get light headed. Bradley was obviously nervous and Gaga just calmed his nerves via the secret brain waves they share. When he started walking towards her, again, I had to force myself not to pass out. He sits, puts his arm around her & I had to fight back tears. I cannot remember when I’ve been subjected to that much passion on live TV. They finish the song, pause, look at each other, and in that intimate moment, I just began to scream. Kiss her. Kiss her! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The friends I had over for a watch party are no longer speaking to me, but they’re probably just really busy.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza

Ingredients:

For dough, if making homemade –

  • 3 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 2 1/2 ounces of active dry yeast, activated
  • 1 tsp. of S
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil

For toppings –

  • 1 butternut squash, peeled + cubed
  • 3-4 baby beets, peeled + sliced thin
  • 1 onion, sliced thin
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of spinach, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, taste
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a large bowl, combine flour + activated yeast + S
  • Mix in a cup of warm water + the olive oil + knead until it forms a dough ball
  • Let sit for 15 minutes
  • Roll out onto a floured surface + place on an oiled pizza stone or cookie sheet
  • Bake 10-15 minutes or crisp to your desire
  • Meanwhile, arrange butternut squash on lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Roast 20-25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, heat another tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 7-8 minutes or until caramelized to your desire
  • Stir in beans + S+P, cook 1-2 minutes, turn off heat
  • Process butternut squash in a food processor with garlic + remaining olive oil
  • To assemble pizza, spread butternut squash puree on cooked pizza dough + top with onion/bean mix + sliced beets
  • Cook another 10 minutes
  • Top with fresh spinach, serve warm
  • Take leftover beet slices to the local park + use as mini frisbees with pals

 

Dough from here!