Chocolate Crinkle Cookies

This Christmas season has been one of the most shocking of my life.

Not only did I get the fewest presents I have ever received (but who is counting or complaining),

But I discovered this seemingly universal trend that I am not on board with.

Santa doesn’t wrap presents?????? What kind of absolute malarkey is this? Apparently, he doesn’t have “time” or something, I don’t really know, I tuned out. I just can’t get behind this. Santa ALWAYS wrapped my presents. I’m not saying he did this himself, those elves of his certainly had a hand. & you know Mrs. Claus spends the entire year preparing bows & what not. I just cannot stand seeing photos of people’s Christmas mornings and there are all of these gifts just under the tree all willy nilly! Naked gifts! That’s fewer gifts to unwrap which is literally the most fun part. I’m not budging on this.

My Santa also did little gift tags on my presents that said “to: Rachel from: Santa” & while it is suspicious Santa & my mother had the same handwriting, I respect how well put together the wrappings were.

Time: 45 minutes (prep + baking) | Serves: 12-16 cookies

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of cane sugar
  • 1/3 cup of olive oil
  • 1/3 cup of almond milk
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 1/4 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1/2 cup of cocoa powder
  • 1 tsp. of baking powder
  • Pinch of S
  • Powdered sugar, for rolling

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • In a bowl, combine sugar + oil
  • Add milk + vanilla, stir to combine
  • Add flour + cocoa powder + baking powder + S + combine
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop some dough + rub in powdered sugar, place on lined baking sheet (I used baking mats), repeat
  • Bake for 10 minutes, remove from the oven + let sit on the hot sheet pan a couple more minutes
  • After a few minutes to let them firm up, transfer to a wire rack to cool
  • Calories don’t count in 2021 anymore, eat them all!!!!!

Adapted from here!

Spiced Chocolate Chip Cookies

Now whenever I see cookies, I’m forced to sing:

“Cookies! Cookies! Cookies are so yummy! Fresh out of the oven and into my tummy!”

Oh, you’re not familiar with that tune? Allow me to mail you this singing bear that plays a medley of tunes on repeat, cookie song included.

Because they are the only songs I know. I couldn’t tell you what’s popular in real music right now. I was like 8 months late to the Olivia Rodrigo party. We are a big Disney Junior household right now. She obviously has no idea what’s going on in the shows, but she loves the music. Bluey is this really cute show about Australian doggos and for the longest time she was uninterested, but recently she realized the theme song SLAPS. So that’s been a highlight of this season of life for me. Nothing, however, will ever trump Lou’s beloved Hotdog Song from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. When that song comes in, she stops whatever she is doing, races to the television and starts dancing her tuchus off. It’s incredibly cute.

But that song haunts my dreams and will be the reason her first real word is hotdog.

Time: 1 day (prep + baking) | Serves: 1.5 dozen cookies

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of flour – I used 1 cup of all-purpose + 1 cup of whole wheat
  • 1 tsp. of baking powder
  • 1 tsp. of baking soda
  • 1 tsp. of nutmeg
  • 1 tsp. of ginger
  • 2 tsp. of cinnamon
  • 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup of coconut sugar
  • 2 tbsp. of honey or agave
  • 1/2 cup of olive oil
  • 1 cup of chocolate chips

How to:

  • In a bowl, whisk flour + baking powder + baking soda + nutmeg + ginger + cinnamon
  • In a separate bowl, whisk brown sugar + coconut sugar + honey + olive oil + 1/4 cup of water until smooth
  • Whisk in dry ingredients into your wet just until a little flour is left
  • Fold in the chocolate chips
  • Cover with plastic wrap + refrigerate overnight
  • Preheat oven to 350
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop cookies onto a baking mat lined cookie sheet
  • Bake for 12 minutes
  • Serve warm or room temperature
  • Eat all of them before anyone gets home + pretend like you just bought a new cookie scented candle instead of baked all day

Biscuits + Gravy

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By now, you’ve gathered I have a ~thing~ for baseboards.

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I think about them all the time. “Are they clean enough? Where does all this dust come from? How will I reach that corner tucked behind that very heavy object?

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They’re the first thing I notice in every room I enter. I’m not a great dinner guest, honestly.

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Imagine my sheer glee when a package arrived on my doorstep from my fellow clean freak and the woman who gave me life to find a BASEBOARD BUDDY. An actual tool for basket cases like me!!! It’s like a giant stick with a lil wipe wrapped around a square head. Said square is curved perfectly to hug your baseboard crevices just so. I was so excited, I ripped it open and put it together so quickly. Garr was standing by with his jaw on the floor like, “I thought things that read ‘assembly required’ gave you anxiety……….” Your girl just needs a lil motivation.

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Just one step closer on my quest to build the strongest army of cleaning tools in the world.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5

Ingredients:

Biscuits-

  • 1 cup of plain almond milk
  • 2 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 1 tbsp. of baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp. of baking soda
  • Pinch of salt
  • 4 tbsp. of vegan butter, melted

Gravy-

  • 1 cup of meatless crumbles
  • 1/4 cup of all-purpose flour
  • 2 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 1 tbsp. of fresh sage, chopped
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 4 cups of plain almond milk

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 450 degrees
  • In a bowl, whisk dry biscuit ingredients – 2 cups of flour + baking powder + baking soda + salt
  • Make a well in the dry ingredients + mix in almond milk a lil at a time with wooden spoon
  • Once formed into sticky ball, plop onto a floured surface + dust with a lil more flour
  • Turn dough over 6 times, barely kneading
  • Press dough out with hands into flat pancake
  • Using a glass, cut out 8 rounds + place onto baking sheet
  • Push the center of the biscuits in a lil with your thumb + brush with melted butter
  • Bake for 12-15 minutes or until golden brown to your desire
  • Meanwhile, for gravy, combine flour + nutritional yeast + sage + crushed red pepper + S+P in a dry skillet over low-medium heat for 5 minutes
  • Turn heat up to medium + whisk in almond milk
  • Bring to a bubble, lower heat + add meatless crumbles
  • Whisk until thickened to your desire, adjust seasoning to taste
  • Serve warm biscuit with warm gravy
  • Untie your stretchy pants, pull the waistband loose + sit at your kitchen table until every bite of this has vanished

 

 

Adapted from these!

https://minimalistbaker.com/the-best-damn-vegan-biscuits/

http://www.brandnewvegan.com/recipes/vegan-country-sausage-gravy