Lemon Tarts

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In a galaxy far, far away lives the version of myself that used to be fun.

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There was a time when I was the life of the party!

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That’s a lie, my social anxiety has always kept me from obtaining that title.

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But I could hang! I mean, in WA, Garr and I used to start a Saturday with a fab brunch & spend the next 8 hours exploring & shopping & eating & listening to live music & doing photoshoots & stumbling upon random festivals & strolling by the water. Fast forward like 1.5 years & Garr and I go to Raleigh for the day, thinking it’ll be like our wild Seattle days. NAHT. We kick things off with brunch, old faithful. Turns out, this place makes all vegan desserts. Mmkay. So we order a peanut butter pie. At 11am. MISTAKE. We immediately need to be tucked in for a nap. But we must persevere! We decide to walk around downtown and find some coffee. This helps but only momentarily. We’re fading. It’s 12:30pm. We try to shop but nothing is catching our eye. We try to stop and grab a drink at this really hip restaurant but there are no seats at the bar. The world is conspiring against us! We’re at a crossroads, we can power through or we can embrace our aging, failing bodies and ditch the downtown scene, go to Trader Joe’s and go home for a siesta. 

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Got to TJ’s in time to snag ALLLLL the cauliflower gnocchis. Holler.

 

 

Time: 3 hours (prep + baking) | Serves: 12 tarts

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups of unsweetened, shredded cocount
  • 1 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tbsp. of coconut sugar
  • 1 tbsp. of brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup of coconut oil
  • 1 cup of raw almonds, soaked overnight or placed in a bowl + covered in boiling water, letting soak for 30 minutes-hour, drained
  • Juice of 2 lemons
  • 2 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • Pinch of turmeric
  • 1/4 cup of coconut milk
  • Pinch of S
  • Blueberries + raspberries for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine coconut + flour + sugar + 2 tbsp. of the coconut oil + the S, pulse until well combined + sticks together
  • Scoop a tbsp. of the crust mix in lined muffin tins + press flat
  • Bake for 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, rinse out food processor
  • Add remaining coconut oil + almonds + lemon juice + agave + vanilla extract + turmeric, process + slowly pour in coconut milk, process until smooth + creamy
  • Scoop 1-2 tbsp. of lemon filling onto each crust + smooth it out
  • Freeze for 2 hours
  • Serve chilled with fruit on top
  • Take a giant bite out of a tart + smile as wide as the dent you made in it + snap a selfie with your tart + make it your profile picture

 

Adapted from here!

 

 

 

Butterbean + Avocado Toast

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They told me marriage would be hard.

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That we’d have to work at it every single day.

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But I thought we’d be different. We’d beat the odds. But no one prepared me for the biggest marital threat of all.

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The thermostat. I’m not exaggerating when I say we argue about the thermostat AT LEAST twice everyday. Cozy is really my only aspiration in life. I just want to be comfortable in lil socks, leggings, a tee & perhaps a light sweater. I should NOT have to wear a parka, earmuffs and mittens in my home. It’s cruel! I’m a very normal, 72 degree type of girl. That’s the perfect indoor temperature no matter the season. Garr, on the other hand, would like it at 65 degrees with all ceilings fans on full blast at all times. Yes, he wants me to contract pneumonia. His absolute favorite line to me when I complain or put my ice cold hands on his face, “You can put on more layers, I can only get so naked.” I’m sorry, just because you sweat like a stuffed pig, I’m supposed to freeze to death?!

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When we buy our home, we’re each getting our own wing.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2

Ingredients:

  • 4 pieces of ezekiel bread, toasted
  • 2 avocados, mashed
  • 1 can of large butter beans, drained (I looked all over for fresh + couldn’t find any – if anyone knows the hookup, let me know!)
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/3 cup of sundried tomatoes, chopped
  • 1 tsp. of lemon juice
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add beans, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add sundried tomatoes + lemon juice, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add crushed red pepper + S+P, stir to coat + turn off heat
  • Meanwhile, add some S+P to your avo mash
  • To assemble, spread a piece of toast with avo + top with butter beans
  • Repeat with remaining ingredients
  • Once you’ve devoured, refer to yourself as Butterbean and force your sweetie to do the same

Grits Goodness Bowl

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What kind of person does it make me that my husband got me a bunch of cleaning supplies for my birthday?

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Let’s back it up a bit. My bday was a month ago, but bub was gone and then I was traveling. Sadly, there’s been no time to celebrate the majestic birth of muah.

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I came home Monday and our bed was piled high with birthday happies.

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All of which are to aid in my second favorite hobby – cleaning the sanctuary that is my house. I got this microwave splatter helmet thing that we can use to cover up foods before we heat them so sauces and such don’t fly all willy nilly. GAME CHANGER. Then, I got these lil motorized brushes to scrub the caked on messes on the stove top. Woah nelly, where have these babies BEEN all my life?! Next came a brand new hand vacuum. Only one of the most convenient household tools in all of the world! This one with a longer lasting charge because DUH. Finally, this angry looking lil woman that you fill with vinegar & put it in the microwave to sanitize it. Like, OK, a thing I absolutely cannot live without. All to say, I have VERY big plans this weekend.

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Oh, and to complete the kewl girl birthday of 2019, a night night mumu in a cactus print.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of grits, uncooked
  • 1 package of tempeh, sliced in thin strips
  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut in florets
  • 1/2 lb. of brussels sprouts, halved
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms
  • 1 bunch of kale, destemmed + roughly chopped
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 2 tsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine kale + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, massage gently + set aside
  • Arrange cauliflower + brussels on 1-2 lined baking sheets (depending on your sheets) + drizzle with 1-2 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast for 20 minutes, toss, roast another 15
  • Meanwhile, whisk 1 tbsp. of olive oil + soy sauce + agave + liquid smoke + hot sauce + cumin + chili powder + some S+P
  • Arrange tempeh in a flat, even layer + pour marinade on top, let sit for a few minutes
  • Heat skillet over medium heat
  • Add some tempeh slices, cooking for 3-4 minutes per side, remove + repeat with all slices
  • Then, heat last bit of olive oil in that same skillet + add mushrooms + S+P, cook for 5-6 minutes
  • Add kale + red pepper + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Meanwhile, cook grits to package directions, once done, stir in nutritional yeast
  • To serve, pour some grits in a bowl + top with tempeh bacon + shroom/kale mix + some cauliflower + brussels sprouts
  • Using hands, scoop up some of your food + catapult it at your sweetie, then just stay seated + calm + see what happens