Chocolate + Date Oat Bars

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I am a 19 year old frat boy.

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In that I have been living like a stuffed pig this week.

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Garr was traveling this week and I was bound and determined to get the house spic and span after several weeks of both of us traveling.

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The laundry basket overflowing with three clean loads I’ve yet to fold tell a different story. I literally just dug through it to get some clean workout clothes for yoga tomorrow. I am ashamed of myself. Yet here I sit. Writing this. Instead of doing my chores. The irony. I was also going to clean all the bathrooms. I managed to put my hairbrush under the sink and contact solution in the drawer. The end. I also had big plans to sweep & mop on my lunch break. Did I instead read The Bachelorette spoilers? You better believe it. I even only ran Felix (roomba) once in 4 days. That is literally unacceptable! He’s used to a daily workout. I’ve reached a new level of lazy if I cannot *press* his button. I’m blaming it on the full moon. It’s sucking my energy for its weird lunar purposes.

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I have at least showered every day and for that I applaud myself.

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 12 bars

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1 cup of rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup of granulated sugar
  • Pinch of S
  • 1/2 cup of vegan butter, melted
  • 12 oz. of pitted dates
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 cup of vegan semisweet chocolate chips

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Coat a 9×13 baking dish with cooking spray + top with a sheet of parchment paper
  • Meanwhile, combine flour + oats + sugar + S
  • Slowly stir in melted butter until combined
  • Scoop 2/3 of the mix into the bottom of the baking dish + pat into a flat layer
  • Pop in the freezer while you make the filling
  • In a food processor, combine dates + vanilla + pinch of S + 1/2 cup of hot water + process on high until smooth
  • Transfer to a bowl + fold in chocolate chips
  • Spread date mix on top of the oat base
  • Top with leftover oat mix + pat down
  • Bake for 40 minutes or until golden brown
  • Let cool for an hour + pop in the freezer for a bit to set
  • Cut into bars + serve! Or individually wrap them + pop back in the freezer for snacking throughout the week
  • Fasten on your bib, partner, there are going to be some serious crumbs

 

Adapted from here!

Lemon Tarts

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In a galaxy far, far away lives the version of myself that used to be fun.

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There was a time when I was the life of the party!

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That’s a lie, my social anxiety has always kept me from obtaining that title.

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But I could hang! I mean, in WA, Garr and I used to start a Saturday with a fab brunch & spend the next 8 hours exploring & shopping & eating & listening to live music & doing photoshoots & stumbling upon random festivals & strolling by the water. Fast forward like 1.5 years & Garr and I go to Raleigh for the day, thinking it’ll be like our wild Seattle days. NAHT. We kick things off with brunch, old faithful. Turns out, this place makes all vegan desserts. Mmkay. So we order a peanut butter pie. At 11am. MISTAKE. We immediately need to be tucked in for a nap. But we must persevere! We decide to walk around downtown and find some coffee. This helps but only momentarily. We’re fading. It’s 12:30pm. We try to shop but nothing is catching our eye. We try to stop and grab a drink at this really hip restaurant but there are no seats at the bar. The world is conspiring against us! We’re at a crossroads, we can power through or we can embrace our aging, failing bodies and ditch the downtown scene, go to Trader Joe’s and go home for a siesta. 

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Got to TJ’s in time to snag ALLLLL the cauliflower gnocchis. Holler.

 

 

Time: 3 hours (prep + baking) | Serves: 12 tarts

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups of unsweetened, shredded cocount
  • 1 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tbsp. of coconut sugar
  • 1 tbsp. of brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup of coconut oil
  • 1 cup of raw almonds, soaked overnight or placed in a bowl + covered in boiling water, letting soak for 30 minutes-hour, drained
  • Juice of 2 lemons
  • 2 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • Pinch of turmeric
  • 1/4 cup of coconut milk
  • Pinch of S
  • Blueberries + raspberries for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine coconut + flour + sugar + 2 tbsp. of the coconut oil + the S, pulse until well combined + sticks together
  • Scoop a tbsp. of the crust mix in lined muffin tins + press flat
  • Bake for 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, rinse out food processor
  • Add remaining coconut oil + almonds + lemon juice + agave + vanilla extract + turmeric, process + slowly pour in coconut milk, process until smooth + creamy
  • Scoop 1-2 tbsp. of lemon filling onto each crust + smooth it out
  • Freeze for 2 hours
  • Serve chilled with fruit on top
  • Take a giant bite out of a tart + smile as wide as the dent you made in it + snap a selfie with your tart + make it your profile picture

 

Adapted from here!

 

 

 

Butterbean + Avocado Toast

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They told me marriage would be hard.

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That we’d have to work at it every single day.

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But I thought we’d be different. We’d beat the odds. But no one prepared me for the biggest marital threat of all.

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The thermostat. I’m not exaggerating when I say we argue about the thermostat AT LEAST twice everyday. Cozy is really my only aspiration in life. I just want to be comfortable in lil socks, leggings, a tee & perhaps a light sweater. I should NOT have to wear a parka, earmuffs and mittens in my home. It’s cruel! I’m a very normal, 72 degree type of girl. That’s the perfect indoor temperature no matter the season. Garr, on the other hand, would like it at 65 degrees with all ceilings fans on full blast at all times. Yes, he wants me to contract pneumonia. His absolute favorite line to me when I complain or put my ice cold hands on his face, “You can put on more layers, I can only get so naked.” I’m sorry, just because you sweat like a stuffed pig, I’m supposed to freeze to death?!

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When we buy our home, we’re each getting our own wing.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2

Ingredients:

  • 4 pieces of ezekiel bread, toasted
  • 2 avocados, mashed
  • 1 can of large butter beans, drained (I looked all over for fresh + couldn’t find any – if anyone knows the hookup, let me know!)
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/3 cup of sundried tomatoes, chopped
  • 1 tsp. of lemon juice
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add beans, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add sundried tomatoes + lemon juice, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add crushed red pepper + S+P, stir to coat + turn off heat
  • Meanwhile, add some S+P to your avo mash
  • To assemble, spread a piece of toast with avo + top with butter beans
  • Repeat with remaining ingredients
  • Once you’ve devoured, refer to yourself as Butterbean and force your sweetie to do the same