Blueberry Swirl Bread

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I have…run out of things to talk about….

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I usually have a funny or at least borderline entertaining anecdote to share after the weekend.

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But when you do the same thing four weekends in a row, it all starts to blur.

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I finished a puzzle. We watched Ozark. I’m reading a book. Sometimes I nap. It’s getting wild up in here, is what I’m trying to say. I really just feel like a worthless bump on a leg, quite honestly. I’d prefer to feel a little more useful while in quarantine but I have no skills. I can’t sew masks for hospital workers, I can’t provide any services to those in need. What am I good for, seriously? Do you all know of any way I can contribute to society from the comforts of my home? I need to do SOMETHING.

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I can’t keep making bread, I’m going to actually explode.

 

 

Time: 3 hours (prep + baking) | Serves: 1 loaf

Ingredients:

  • 2/3 cup of plain almond milk
  • 6 3/4 tsp. of active dry yeast
  • 1/4 cup of coconut sugar
  • 3 cups of all purpose flour
  • 1/2 tsp. of S
  • 5 tbsp. of vegan butter, softened
  • 1/2 cup of blueberry jam

How to:

  • Warm the milk in a sauce pan to 98.6-113 degrees
  • Turn off heat, stir in yeast + 1 tbsp. of sugar, let activate for 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, combine flour + remaining sugar + S in a bowl
  • Stir in yeast mixture + softened butter
  • Mix with your hands until combined + knead for 8-10 minutes or until a dough forms
  • Place dough in a large greased bowl, cover with a dish towel + let rise for an hour
  • Place on a lightly floured surface + knead for a while longer until air is out
  • Roll out the dough to a rectangle
  • Spread with blueberry jam
  • Roll up the dough taco style (long ways)
  • Transfer to a greased baking dish
  • Obvio, it won’t fit like this, so just smash it all around, folding the dough in on top of itself, this is gonna give you your swirls
  • Cover with a dish towel + let rest another 45 minutes
  • Meanwhile, preheat oven to 355
  • Brush loaf with a lil more milk
  • Bake for 40 minutes
  • Let cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan to cool more
  • Serve warm or room temp
  • Slather a slice with a lil vegan butter + slap on face, repeat with remaining slices until totally covered in bread

 

Adapted from here!

Sweet Potato + Apple Hash

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2020 is the year of decluttering.

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I want to sell all of my possessions and live in a sterile environment with the bare essentials. I feel like I really just need a bed, a plate or two, a pot and maybe like a hot plate or something.

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Basically, I should just go to jail.

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I need space! Mental and physical space to just roam and focus on the important things in life. Or something. Idk what I’m talking about anymore. But I do know I’m decluttering! This weekend, I’m forcing Garr to help me tackle the kitchen and bathroom cabinets. I want to get rid of at least 1/2 the things we own and organize what remains. He loves when I have a really long honey-do list for him on Saturdays. In addition, I have unsubscribed from almost all emails. Literally only Bath and Body Works can get in touch with me now. I am also off Facebook and my personal instagram. I simply do not have the mental capacity to scroll through social media and process all the selfies and political rants anymore. I’m exhausted. Hopefully with all this mental and physical space I will have the room to find and fulfill my destiny!

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Which is probably just being really good at puzzles and avoiding socialization.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 2 sweet potatoes, peeled + chopped
  • 1 red fuji apple, chopped
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 cup of kale, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • S+P, to taste
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine dijon + soy sauce + garlic + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add tempeh, coat + set aside
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add sweet potatoes + chili powder + smoked paprika + cumin + S+P, cook 8- 10 minutes or until potatoes start to brown on the outside + become tender
  • Add tempeh, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add apple, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Add kale + S+P, cook one more minute
  • Serve warm with some avocado slices
  • Enjoy guilt free knowing you didn’t even cave + add a bucket of rice to this

Chocolate + Date Oat Bars

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I am a 19 year old frat boy.

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In that I have been living like a stuffed pig this week.

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Garr was traveling this week and I was bound and determined to get the house spic and span after several weeks of both of us traveling.

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The laundry basket overflowing with three clean loads I’ve yet to fold tell a different story. I literally just dug through it to get some clean workout clothes for yoga tomorrow. I am ashamed of myself. Yet here I sit. Writing this. Instead of doing my chores. The irony. I was also going to clean all the bathrooms. I managed to put my hairbrush under the sink and contact solution in the drawer. The end. I also had big plans to sweep & mop on my lunch break. Did I instead read The Bachelorette spoilers? You better believe it. I even only ran Felix (roomba) once in 4 days. That is literally unacceptable! He’s used to a daily workout. I’ve reached a new level of lazy if I cannot *press* his button. I’m blaming it on the full moon. It’s sucking my energy for its weird lunar purposes.

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I have at least showered every day and for that I applaud myself.

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 12 bars

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1 cup of rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup of granulated sugar
  • Pinch of S
  • 1/2 cup of vegan butter, melted
  • 12 oz. of pitted dates
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 cup of vegan semisweet chocolate chips

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Coat a 9×13 baking dish with cooking spray + top with a sheet of parchment paper
  • Meanwhile, combine flour + oats + sugar + S
  • Slowly stir in melted butter until combined
  • Scoop 2/3 of the mix into the bottom of the baking dish + pat into a flat layer
  • Pop in the freezer while you make the filling
  • In a food processor, combine dates + vanilla + pinch of S + 1/2 cup of hot water + process on high until smooth
  • Transfer to a bowl + fold in chocolate chips
  • Spread date mix on top of the oat base
  • Top with leftover oat mix + pat down
  • Bake for 40 minutes or until golden brown
  • Let cool for an hour + pop in the freezer for a bit to set
  • Cut into bars + serve! Or individually wrap them + pop back in the freezer for snacking throughout the week
  • Fasten on your bib, partner, there are going to be some serious crumbs

 

Adapted from here!