Grits Goodness Bowl

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What kind of person does it make me that my husband got me a bunch of cleaning supplies for my birthday?

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Let’s back it up a bit. My bday was a month ago, but bub was gone and then I was traveling. Sadly, there’s been no time to celebrate the majestic birth of muah.

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I came home Monday and our bed was piled high with birthday happies.

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All of which are to aid in my second favorite hobby – cleaning the sanctuary that is my house. I got this microwave splatter helmet thing that we can use to cover up foods before we heat them so sauces and such don’t fly all willy nilly. GAME CHANGER. Then, I got these lil motorized brushes to scrub the caked on messes on the stove top. Woah nelly, where have these babies BEEN all my life?! Next came a brand new hand vacuum. Only one of the most convenient household tools in all of the world! This one with a longer lasting charge because DUH. Finally, this angry looking lil woman that you fill with vinegar & put it in the microwave to sanitize it. Like, OK, a thing I absolutely cannot live without. All to say, I have VERY big plans this weekend.

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Oh, and to complete the kewl girl birthday of 2019, a night night mumu in a cactus print.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of grits, uncooked
  • 1 package of tempeh, sliced in thin strips
  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut in florets
  • 1/2 lb. of brussels sprouts, halved
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms
  • 1 bunch of kale, destemmed + roughly chopped
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 2 tsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine kale + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, massage gently + set aside
  • Arrange cauliflower + brussels on 1-2 lined baking sheets (depending on your sheets) + drizzle with 1-2 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast for 20 minutes, toss, roast another 15
  • Meanwhile, whisk 1 tbsp. of olive oil + soy sauce + agave + liquid smoke + hot sauce + cumin + chili powder + some S+P
  • Arrange tempeh in a flat, even layer + pour marinade on top, let sit for a few minutes
  • Heat skillet over medium heat
  • Add some tempeh slices, cooking for 3-4 minutes per side, remove + repeat with all slices
  • Then, heat last bit of olive oil in that same skillet + add mushrooms + S+P, cook for 5-6 minutes
  • Add kale + red pepper + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Meanwhile, cook grits to package directions, once done, stir in nutritional yeast
  • To serve, pour some grits in a bowl + top with tempeh bacon + shroom/kale mix + some cauliflower + brussels sprouts
  • Using hands, scoop up some of your food + catapult it at your sweetie, then just stay seated + calm + see what happens

Savory Pancakes

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How can I continue wearing the Hostess with the Mostest crown in good conscience when I suck at entertaining?

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My dad came to visit for my 28th birthday.

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I don’t want a single Happy Birthday message from a one of ya, I mean it! We’re not acknowledging it.

fullsizeoutput_966I was so pumped for his visit. I couldn’t wait to just do all of the fun things with him. It wasn’t until I picked him up from the airport that I realized I had forgotten to plan literally anything for us to do. Like, not a THING on the agenda to entertain this man. After a quick panic attack, we talk about the possibilities over dinner and decide to just hang loose. Just kick back, hang and relax. And when all else fails, I pride myself on choosing excellent dining locales. So I didn’t plan any exciting outings, I can book a dinner reservation like a grand champion! We’re both feeling good about the next few days when our gyoza appetizer is served. Undercooked and untasty (not a word, but appropriate). An omen, if you will, for what would be the worst meals I ever forced a loved one to eat. It was horrendous. All my favorite local spots disappointed. Soggy shrimps, dry pork shanks, taste-less beef burritos – all of this was his, obviously. I had to take the man to dessert every night just to make up for it. I try to limit his sweets intake, but I had to go against my principles just to keep him nourished!fullsizeoutput_96e

He politely told me he would only be back if we dined exclusively at chain restaurants he was confident in.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/4 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 2 tsp. of baking powder
  • 1/4 cup of green onions, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of chives, chopped
  • 1/2 tsp. of cumin
  • 1/2 tsp. of turmeric
  • 1 1/2 cups of unsweetened dairy free milk
  • 1/2 a tomato, diced
  • 4 cloves of garlic
  • 1 cup of plain almond milk yogurt
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Place garlic cloves on a square of foil, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + wrap up in the foil
  • Roast for 20-25 minutes
  • Once cooled, combine garlic + yogurt + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P in a lil food processor + pulse until smooth
  • Refrigerate until ready to serve
  • Meanwhile, whisk together flour + baking powder + cumin + turmeric + herbs + S+P
  • Make a well in the center, add milk + 2 tbsp. of olive oil + tomato, combine well
  • Add remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Scoop 1/2 cup of batter into the skillet + cook for about 3 minutes or until bubbles start to form, flip + cook another 3 minutes
  • Repeat with remaining batter
  • Serve warm with garlic whip
  • Gather pals + take to a park + play ultimate savory pancake, winner eats all

 

Adapted from here!

Chocolate Chip Zucchini Bread

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Favorite places on Earth in order: 1) Airports 2) Trader Joe’s

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That’s it. That’s the whole list.

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Those are the places I am the most at home, the best version of myself, really.

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Because my local TJ’s is legit over an hour away, I adopt the PPPPP motto. Prior planning prevents poor performance. There is no room for error on these trips. A list is non-negotiable. It’s impossible to walk into that heavenly establishment without impulse buying, but you have to set some ground rules. Only one unnecessary purchase from each aisle – two from the frozen food aisle that’s lined with the cookies and sweet treats. Because it’s so far, I can only make it on weekends, meaning the joint is jumping. Peeps are packed in their like sardines! Comfortable shoes are a must. Keep your head down and your elbows slightly bowed – you might have to throw a couple if you and some gal are both reaching for the last cauliflower gnocchi. When shopping with pals, consider sharing a cart – this cuts down on the space you and your posse take up. It also makes you all look like a couple of radical broads on a mission cause you’re carrying a lot of stuff in your arms trying to catch up with your rogue cart as your friend beelines to the cheese.

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Do consider tipping your checkout guy if you share a cart because you will inevitably aggravate the stew out of him as you all divvy up your goodies.

 

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Seves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1/2 cup of pure cane sugar
  • 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 3 tsp. of baking powder
  • 2 zucchini, washed + shredded
  • 1 cup of vegan chocolate chips
  • 1 ripe banana, mashed
  • 1/2 cup of favie non-dairy milk
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 tbsp. of flax seed
  • 1 tsp. of cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp. of nutmeg
  • Pinch of S

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • Prepare a flax egg by combining flax seed + 3 tbsp. of hot water, stir + set aside
  • In a large mixing bowl, combine flour + sugars + baking powder + cinnamon + nutmeg + S, mix well
  • Add zucchini + banana + milk + olive oil + vanilla + flax egg, mix well
  • Fold in chocolate chips
  • Line a loaf pan with parchment paper + spray with some nonstick spray
  • Pour batter into pan + spread in an even layer
  • Bake one hour or until a toothpick comes out clean
  • Let cool for a bit
  • Serve warm, cold, room temp, for breakfast, lunch dinner, snack, I don’t care just eat it and if you don’t feel instantly happier, I’ll give you your money back, no I won’t

 

Adapted from here!