Broccolini + White Beans over Cauli Cous Cous

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When I die, just bury me in CenturyLink Field.

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My addiction to the Seattle Seahawks is impacting my health.

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I can’t sleep, I overeat, it’s a problem.

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Last night, they played at 8:15pm. Well, ya girl is SNOOZING by 9pm, so this presented a major problem. I watched for a few minutes, then shut it off at promptly 8:58pm, telling myself I would wake up to the outcome and be OK no matter what. I plumb SHOT out of bed at midnight & the first thing I did was check the final score. SEAHAWKS WIN, BABAY. Well, now I’m obviously too hyped up to sleep. I spend the rest of the evening tossing and turning with joy and faint anxiety that I dreamt the win as opposed to it being real. I legit woke up 6 more times dreaming of Russell Wilson and company just tossing the pigskin and being my baby boys.

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We’re going to a game in a couple of weeks & I might just have Garrett leave me there & I’ll find work in a hotdog kiosk.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 bunch of broccolini, trimmed
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, drained + rinsed
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1 shallot, sliced thin
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 cauliflower, riced in a food processor
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Pomegranate seeds, for serving
  • Hummus, for serving

How to:

  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a cast-iron skillet over medium heat
  • Arrange broccolini in an even layer + add S+P + crushed red pepper, cook + char all over, 6-8 minutes
  • Remove + add another tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add shallot + S+P, cook 2-3 minutes
  • Add beans + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Remove + add remaining olive oil
  • Add tomatoes + S+P, cook for 5-6 minutes until nice + blistered
  • Meanwhile, add 1/2 cup of water to the bottom of a large skillet + add S+P, bring to a simmer
  • Add cauliflower rice, bring to a simmer, reduce heat + cover + cook for 10 minutes, season with S+P
  • To serve, arrange cauli cous cous on a plate + top with broccolini + beans + tomatoes + top with pomegranate seeds + hummus
  • Mix up all the goodness + slingshot bits of food into your own mouth without damaging an eyeball

Egg Roll Bowls

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I’ve had a disturbing realization.

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Rather, it’s come to my attention that there are human beings out there in our very own world that are not motivated by food?

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I’m sorry, so like…what do you live for?

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Every single one of my days is measured in food. I live one meal to the next. My next meal is what keeps me motivated to keep going through the day. Right now as I’m writing this, I’m thinking about how tasty my breakfast is going to be tomorrow. And all other meals are planned. Any time I venture outside of my house, snacks are packed. When I travel, I have to be sure I know when and where I’ll be having my meals. Food just rules me. And I love it. Up until now, I just assumed we were all like this….???? Apparently this is not the case and I am FLOORED. No joke, there are people out there who just *forget* to eat. Literally have never done that one day in my life for any meal. What do people think about all day if not the food they will soon enjoy? What do they spend their time looking at on the interwebs if not restaurant reviews and recipes? What does it mean for someone to not be a “foodie?” How do I respond to that? How can I help these people?

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Tbh I think they’re probably too far gone for even medical attention.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 red onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of ginger, minced
  • 1/2 head of purple cabbage, chopped
  • 1 cup of carrots, cut in match sticks
  • 2 cups of mushrooms
  • 1 head of broccoli, cut in tiny florets
  • 1 tbsp. of sesame oil
  • 1/4 cup of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Green onion, for serving
  • Sesame seeds, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Rice, for serving

How to:

  • Heat oil in a wok over medium heat
  • Add onion, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic + ginger, cook another minute
  • Add cabbage + carrots + mushrooms + broccoli + crushed red pepper, cook 6-7 minutes
  • Add soy sauce, cook another 2 minutes
  • Serve hot over rice with green onion + sesame seeds + avocado
  • Pretend like you are on an episode of Chopped + have to transform all the ingredients to pulse them in a blender + serve to pals in smoothie form

Broccoli + Grain Salad

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Reason 23,085 I’m not meant to live in the south: my daggum ‘do can’t take it.

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The combination of humidity and high winds does truly unspeakable things to my hair.

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We went to Charleston for the weekend and they were having tornado-like winds the whole time. Ya girl had her hair up IN A PONYTAIL. Tragic!!!!

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Apart from the hair debacle, we had a delightful time. We frolicked and explored and took in some sights and only a few folks did double takes at what the heck was atop my head (my messy bun frightens people). Charleston’s food scene is pretty dope and I ate like a right queen. Garr & I are high key obsessed with Netflix’s Chef’s Table and have been jonesing to visit one of the featured restaurants. We finally checked that off the bucket list this weekend and it was just superb. They made me a vegan entree without any hassles and it was basically just a bunch of side dishes but we all know that’s the best part of the meal anyways. G must have had a stroke or something when he placed his order because he chose snapper and he doesn’t like seafood?¿ It was swimming in a lil broth and it reminded him of a time he was camping and surviving off the land and he and his pals had the great idea to boil a fish they caught in a stew they were making and it turned gray and tasted like dirt. So, slightly different experiences.

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We ended the evening at a hot pink champagne & caviar bar & I decided then & there that I simply MUST have such a room in my next home.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup of red lentils, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of quinoa, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of barley, uncooked
  • 2 heads of broccoli, washed + cut into florets
  • 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup of almonds, toasted + chopped
  • 1/4 cup of pomegranate seeds
  • 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • 1/2 tbsp. of sugar
  • 1/4 cup + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice + zest of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/2 tsp. of dijon mustard
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Add onions to a jar or bowl, top with apple cider vinegar + sugar + 1 tsp. of S + 1 cup of warm water, cover + refrigerate until you’re ready to serve
  • Cook grains according to package directions, drain + set aside
  • Arrange broccoli on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast for 25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, combine remaining olive oil + lemon juice + zest + dijon + S+P
  • To serve, combine grains + broccoli + pickled red onions (minus their juice) + almonds + pomegranate seeds + dressing
  • Serve warm, room temp or chilled
  • Place self in a high chair + feed self with hands like lil doll baby you are