Caesar Brussels Sprouts Salad

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Get a load of how grown up I am.

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Not only did I successfully host an impromptu dinner party this weekend, but I also did our taxes.

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Not at the same time, I’m not a total masochist. However, I successfully did 1/2 of these things without shedding a single tear.

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Dinner parties are ~kind of~ becoming my thing. They give me an excuse to wear my cute aprons and cook in heels, empowering me to the core. It’s also nice to eat on real dishes vs. the tupperware I’m accustomed. Now if we could just do away with the conversation portion of the evening, I’d really be in my element.

Taxes weren’t too bad either. Until I got to the end, convinced myself I typed a number in wrong 83 screens back, googled likelihood of jail time for incorrect tax return (mixed reviews), went back 83 screens & quadruple checked all of the numbers (typed correctly the first time), called my dad to hyperventilate, clicked “file,” put head in hands & prayed that the Lord be swift in determining my fate.

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Would like to have you all over for a dinner party on April 15th.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, washed + ugly leaves removed
  • 1/4 cup of walnuts, toasted
  • Juice + zest of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/3 cup of raw almonds
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1 tsp. of rice vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. capers
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil
  • 1/2 tsp of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Soak almonds in 1/3 cup of hot water for 15 minutes
  • Add almonds + soaked water + garlic + dijon mustard + rice vinegar + capers + olive oil + juice of 1/2 a lemon + S+P to a food processor and process until smooth + creamy
  • Meanwhile shred brussels sprouts using a cheese grater (yeah, I said it!) into a large bowl
  • Add toasted walnuts + crushed red pepper + plenty of S+P + lemon zest to sprouts + mix up
  • Drizzle dressing as desired
  • Serve chilled (salad doesn’t keep, but dressing does!)
  • Brag to all who will listen about the light salad you’ve eaten + how you are the picture of health + fitness

 

Dressing from Thug Kitchen!

 

Roasted Winter Veggies + Smashed Walnut Vinaigrette

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I am the queen of public transportation, hear me ROAR!!!

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Your girl traversed the DC metro and hailed like 8 NYC cabs ALL BY HERSELF.

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I am the EPITOME of a city girl.

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I only got turned around in the metro station like 3 times. I highly recommend a small bridge to get to the opposite platform rather than forcing me to take 18 escalators (have y’all SEEN that video of the woman getting sucked into one of those?!). I just tried  to channel my inner first lady and act like a refined, political guru. I grabbed a Washington Post and pretended to read it while on the metro so I looked like I had a clue.

NYC was interesting. I’m like an 8 out of 10 at hailing cabs, I’d say. The rejection kind of stings, though. I also think one laughed at me while whizzing past. Can’t be sure. The worst part is the nausea. There was no mention of fighting back upchuck on the travel blogs! The herky jerk driving and constant horn blaring about me put me over the edge. When I finally move to the Upper East Side, I’ll certainly need a car service.

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For now it’s back to ole faithful – my 2004 Honda Civic that resembles a Tonka truck.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of colorful, petite carrots, rinsed
  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, peeled + halved
  • 1 lb. of cauliflower, rinsed + cut into florets
  • 1/4 cup of red wine vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of maple syrup
  • 2 tsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts
  • Zest of 1 orange
  • 1/2 cup of olive oil + 3 tbsp.
  • S+P, to taste
  • Parsley, to serve

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 425
  • On 3 separate, lined baking sheets, arrange carrots + brussels sprouts + cauliflower
  • Drizzle each with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Roast all together – carrots + cauliflower for 30 minutes + brussels for 20 – stirring both halfway through
  • Meanwhile, heat a dry skillet over low heat
  • Add walnuts, toast, tossing often for 3-5 minutes
  • Remove + chop
  • Meanwhile, combine remaining olive oil + vinegar + syrup + dijon + walnuts + orange zest + S+P
  • Add all veggies in a pan + drizzle with dressing + top with parsley
  • Serve warm
  • For a fun party game, serve to carnivorous husband as his dinner + see if he stays married to you

 

Recipe from here!

http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/roasted-vegetables-smashed-walnut-vinaigrette

Tempeh + Brussels Sprout Hash

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Chapter 47 of my memoir will go something like this:

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I once had a red eye flight canceled when I was three hours from home.

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Famished and delirious, I take my place in line behind my fellow disgruntled passengers. I’m calm, cool, collected (must have been the sleep deprivation) and eavesdropping on peeps trying to figure out their plans.

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A bunch of bruhs are renting cars, and I’m like man that’s genius, but lemme try and hop on this 5 am flight. Get up to the counter and obvio the 5 am is booked. I’m like k will you pay for a rental car and they’re like nah it’s a liability. I’m like k what flight can I get on and they’re like the 11:30 – 12 HOURS FROM NOW. I’m thinking madam you’re about to have a liability on your hands cause I’m gonna go ham! *Deep breath* As I contemplate my choices that led me to this moment, I hear a young man offering rides in his rental. I look up to the sky and pray, “Lord Jesus, please don’t let me end up on an episode of Dateline and if I do, at least guide my mother to use some pretty pictures of me” and I yell to this dude, “I’m going with you!”

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Shouts to Justin and Kristian for being the trillest, least creepy stranger dudes on planet earth. And for providing me your last names so my mother could google you and find out all of your personal information in case you tried to kidnap me.

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, quartered
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 red pepper, chopped
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • 1 lime, for serving
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh + S+P, brown for 4-5 minutes, put on a plate
  • Add remaining olive oil + onion, cook 2-3 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook 1 minute
  • Add brussels sprouts + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes or until starting to brown
  • Add red pepper + jalapeno + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add black beans + S+P, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Turn off heat + add tempeh
  • Serve hot with avocado + cilantro + a lime wedge
  • Set yourself up for success by shooing all parties out of your home + eating this straight out of the plan while you binge watch Gossip Girl