Buffalo Chickpea Pizza

Well, it’s official.

I’m cooking the world’s largest baby.

I am supposed to have like 4.5 weeks to go.

But this baby is already 6lb 15oz. Yes, you read that right. I have a fully grown newborn in me already. Which is truly the BIGGEST blessing (literally). The best part – her head is measuring in the 99th percentile. So like tomorrow she’ll hit 100 and have the biggest baby head of all time literally ever. Like, I’m sorry, how is this child going to get out of me….. My doctor seems unconcerned, though. He’s like, yeah you’re just going to have a big baby! As if there haven’t been enough understatements of 2020.

Apparently, she does have hair, though, so that heartburn wives tale is accurate.

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 red bell pepper, diced
  • 1/2 red onion, diced
  • 2 cups of arugula
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, diced
  • 1/2 cup of buffalo sauce
  • 1 cauliflower crust
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Arrange chickpeas on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with olive oil + S+P
  • Bake 20-25 minutes, toss once in the middle
  • Once cooked, spread buffalo sauce on crust + top with chickpeas + red pepper + onion
  • Bake according to package directions
  • Remove + top with arugula + cilantro
  • Serve hot
  • As the buffalo sauce gets you sweating, just chalk it up to exercise

Buffalo Chickpea Burritos

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What kind of backwoods, boonies town do I live in that we just got recycling cans like yesterday??

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For months, my plastics and cardboard have gone into the TRASH.

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The deforestation and pollution I must have caused. I shudder!

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To make up for the many trees I undoubtedly destroyed, I decided to take a couple of proactive measures. First, I purchased a reusable straw. These are very in right now. It came in a stylish lil pink container with an easy cleaning tool! I used it like 4 times and every time I whipped it out I felt like an environmental crusader, just doing my part one sip at a time. Then I left it at a restaurant, obviously. To compensate, I offered to take the recyclables home after volunteering at church on Sunday. We’re leaving and I throw a giant trash bag full of milk cartons over my shoulder. Garr stops in his tracks and is like, “What are you doing….?” I explained and he is all, no, nope, not happening, we are not starting this. Apparently, he thinks taking recyclables from church might be a gateway drug. Like, eventually I’ll start calling random restaurants and offering to pick up their salvageable materials.

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Ha! He’s funny. I’m not ready for that, I’m still working on my spreadsheet of local shops that don’t recycle.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of cooked chickpeas
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 roma tomato, diced
  • 1 cup of carrots, shredded
  • 1/2 cup of cabbage, shredded
  • 1 avocado, diced
  • 1 cup of buffalo sauce
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tsp of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Tortillas, for serving

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add chickpeas + onion powder + garlic powder + paprika + cumin + chili powder + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes or until starting to crisp
  • Add buffalo sauce, coat + cook another 2 minutes
  • To serve, lay out a warmed up tortilla on a flat surface, top with chickpeas + tomato + carrots + cabbage + avocado
  • Roll up, folding the sides in as you go, until you have a nice lil burrito baby
  • Repeat with remaining ingredients
  • Hold burrito in both hands, length wise, and nibble on it like a corn on the cob, terrifying all your pals

Buffalo Tempeh Quesadillas

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I am weak.

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I had a cheese quesadilla and rice and beans smothered in cheese this weekend.

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Then I had 8 slices of a very cheesy pizza.

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I AM THE WORST VEGAN EVER. I feel like I need a scarlet D on my shirt for all of the dairy I have consumed recently. Everywhere I turn, it’s just…cheese. You can’t go to a Mexican restaurant and avoid it! You can’t go to my local, sketchy pizza joint where all of the employees yell at each other and get a pizza without cheese! I cannot escape it! I really feel like it’s not my fault, I’m a product of my environment.

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I also accidentally drank a latte with skim milk so I’m just counting August as a loss.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2 quesadillas

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of tempeh, cut into cubes
  • 1 cup of arugula, packed
  • 1 onion, sliced thin
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • Some jalapenos if you are a masochist
  • 4 whole wheat burrito-size tortillas
  • 2/3 cup of hot sauce
  • 1/2 cup of olive oil + 4 tbsp.
  • 1 1/2 tbsp. of white vinegar
  • 1/2 tsp. of Worcestershire
  • 1 tbsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of cayenne pepper
  • 1/2 tsp. of garlic powder
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • In a food processor, combine hot sauce + 1/2 cup of olive oil + white vinegar + Worcestershire + paprika + cayenne + garlic + S+P, pulse until well-combined
  • Pour into a sauce pan + heat over low-medium heat until it starts to bubble, remove from heat
  • Meanwhile, heat a tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium
  • Add onion + S+P, let caramelize for 6-7 minutes, set aside
  • In the same skillet, heat another tbsp. of olive oil + add tempeh + cook for 4-5 minutes letting them get a lil crispy
  • Once crispy, toss tempeh in the buffalo sauce
  • To prepare the quesadillas, heat another tbsp. of olive oil in the same skillet over medium heat
  • Lay down a tortilla + top with 1/2 the onion + 1/2 the arugula + 1/2 the tempeh + 1/2 the cilantro + top with another tortilla, cook for 3 minutes, flip + cook another 1-2 minutes
  • Repeat with remaining ingredients
  • Serve hot with extra cilantro
  • Fold over quesadilla triangle + tilt head back + let quesadilla contents slide down gullet

 

Buffalo sauce adapted from here!

http://www.theedgyveg.com/2014/01/16/vegan-buffalo-sauce-recipe/