Buffalo Quinoa Bites

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I get great pleasure out of getting people in the Pacific Northwest to talk about their opinions of the south.

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I’m pretty sure everyone up here thinks the south is one giant state. Like, “Oh you’re from Tennessee, I have a friend in Georgia.” K that’s nice. It’s not all the same, people. Like, don’t equate me with Mississippi just because of geographical proximity.

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They also envision tornadoes happening daily & tumbleweeds blowing by as we take our horse & buggy to work. The Wizard of Oz has really ruined society.

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Everyone is so bummed when they realize I don’t have much of an accent. “Oh wow you don’t even sound like it….” Sorry to disappoint you but I have other good qualities, I swear!

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Like making fiery hot balls of decadence.

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 12 bites

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1/4 cup of breadcrumbs
  • 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese, grated
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tsp. of garlic salt
  • 1 tsp. of onion salt
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of cilantro, chopped
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1/3 cup of buffalo sauce

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine cooled quinoa + breadcrumbs + cheese + egg + hot sauce + garlic salt + onion salt + red pepper + cilantro + S+P
  • Roll quinoa mixture into small, tight balls
  • Lay on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with olive oil
  • Bake for 10 minutes
  • Remove from oven +  add half of the buffalo sauce
  • Return to oven + bake another 15 minutes
  • Remove from oven + add the rest of buffalo sauce
  • Serve on a plate of greens + with some sort of dipping sauce if you CAN’T HANDLE THE HEAT
  • Just rub these all over your face until it melts off

Idea came from here:

http://www.theironyou.com/2014/01/buffalo-quinoa-bites.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+theironyou/VraN+(The+Iron+You)

 

Buffalo Cauliflower Lettuce Wraps

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The Bachelor/Bachelorette series has been a constant source of comfort in my young adult years & I don’t plan to change my ways until there are 0 roses left on the planet.

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Honestly, what’s not to love? It’s romantic, reality, comedic GENIUS.

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I don’t know why it’s referred to as a guilty pleasure. It brings me infinite pleasure & I feel absolutely no guilt.

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If I wasn’t married, I think I could really excel on this show. AT LEAST make it to home towns. Not because I’m cute, I’d just make up some unique sob story forcing the producers to make him keep me around for as long as he could stand me.

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I also feel 0 guilt about these wraps because they’re so healthy it’s stupid.

 

Time: 50 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 lettuce wraps

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut in small florets
  • 6 hearts of romaine
  • 1 red onion, diced
  • 6-8 oz. of buffalo or wing sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Feta, for serving
  • Avocado crema, for serving (recipe here)
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine cauliflower + 2 tbsp. of buffalo sauce + olive oil + S+P
  • Lay cauliflower on a lined baking sheet + roast for 20 minutes
  • Remove cauliflower from oven + pour another 2-3 tbsp. of buffalo sauce on + roast for another 20 minutes
  • Remove from oven & add cauliflower back to the bowl, add remaining buffalo sauce
  • Add cauliflower to a romaine heart + add red onion + cilantro + feta + crema
  • Eat a sweet treat after cause this is effing healthy & you earned it

 

Buffalo Chickpea Pizza

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To enter the close friend arena of mine, you’ve gotta do one, simple thing. You must like sad crap.

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Music, movies, TV, books, everything. The more sorrow, the better. If a book, movie or song won’t make me cry, I honestly want no part of it.

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My closest friendships have been forged over a heartbreaking song or a gut-wrenching movie. These people GET ME.

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I’m not alone in this melancholy thinking, either. A study just came out revealing that people who prefer sad things are actually healthier because they are able to empathize with others. So harumph!

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I made this ridiculously delicious pizza while binge watching Parenthood (A+ for tears, btw).

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2 pizzas

Ingredients:

  • 2 cooked pizza doughs
  • 1 can of garbanzo beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 jar of hot wing sauce
  • 1 cup of pepper jack cheese, shredded
  • 1 cup of arugula
  • 1/2 red onion, diced
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1/2 cup of mozzarella cheese, shredded
  • 1 tbsp. of cilantro
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine garbanzo beans + 1/2 cup of wing sauce + S+P
  • Lay beans in an even layer on a lined baking sheet
  • Roast for 20-25 minutes + set aside
  • On the first pizza dough, add another 1/2 cup of wing sauce
  • Add half the pepper jack cheese + arugula + onion + pepper + chickpeas
  • Bake for 6-8 minutes or until cheese is melted
  • Repeat with the second pizza dough
  • Top each pizza with cilantro
  • Have 911 on speed dial cause this ish is so hot it’ll melt your face off

Idea came from about 100 variations of this on Pinterest, but this one specifically: http://veganyackattack.com/2014/07/22/buffalo-chickpea-ranch-pizza/