Falafel Burgers

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Never has my hair been worse.

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First world problems, I know, but hang with me here.

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I’d like to blame my broken locks on quarantine, but I always go 6+ months between trims because I like to let myself look as terrible as possible before doing something about it.

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Apparently the dry Colorado weather is v helpful in breaking my ends – not that they needed much help. It’s also not holding a curl here so my super long, lanky, lifeless hair is doing wonders for my super long, lanky lifeless face. I have not had my hair done by anyone other than my usual Memphis gal in 10+ years. Minus the one time I tried to get it done in WA and the woman berated me for filling in my eyebrows vs. threading them. It was a treat, really. But I couldn’t wait until I go to Memphis next. & my what a pleasant experience it turned out to be! I forgot what a luxury it was to be shampooed by another. She was also brutally honest – “Umm I’m going to have to take a lot off…is that OK?” But nary a word about my brows & for that I am grateful!

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She also suggested I stop wearing my hair up and I need to connect her with my 5th grade boyfriend who also suggested I stop doing that because he thought it looked ugly.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cans of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 a white onion, diced
  • 1/2 cup of parsley, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of panko
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of coriander
  • 1 tsp. of cayenne
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cucumber, for serving
  • Tomatoes, for serving
  • Lettuce, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Buns, for serving
  • Tzatziki, for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, combine chickpeas + onion + parsley + garlic + panko + lemon juice + cumin + coriander + cayenne + S+P
  • Form into patties + place on a greased + lined baking sheet, freeze for a few minutes
  • Preheat oven to 375
  • Bake for 30-40 minutes, flipping once in between
  • To serve, place a patty on a bun + top with lettuce + tomato + cucumber + avocado + tzatziki
  • Plant your feet firmly + do a lil wriggle + grab the sammie with both of your grubby mitts + go to town

Edamame Burger Lettuce Wraps

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I’m lucky to be surrounded by so many people who think my food crap is kewl.

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Everyone is so supportive of my lil blog and instagram and they are almost used to waiting to eat their meals until I take photos.

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Perhaps there is no bigger fan, though, than our friend Josh. This man has PLANS for my “brand.” I’m talking he wants to direct videos and introduce a musical element (you would have to hear his vision to fully grasp this) and ultimately just make me the next Food Network star with my own line of cookware at Target.

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All to say, he’s an angelic creature…. who just so happened to back into my car this afternoon. I mean, pretty much smashed my left rear door. I was honestly impressed his little Civic could do so much damage. I could tell he was crest fallen, so naturally I asked Garrett if I could pretend to be really mad, but apparently that would be insensitive? An hour goes by, Garrett and I have forgotten about it, Josh shows back up at the house with a device to remove car dents that he just purchased at Lowe’s. Angelic, I tell you! Truly, I could care about nothing less than a car dent. I think it adds to my street cred. The mom-mobile needed a little character besides the Seahawks stickers I’ve slapped all over it.

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But this is coming out of your commission, Josh.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 burgers

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups of frozen edamame, shelled + thawed
  • 1 cup of brown rice, cooked
  • 1 heaping tbsp. of natural peanut butter
  • 1/2 cup of chopped green onion
  • 1 tbsp. of red thai curry paste
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of sesame oil
  • Handful of carrots, thinly sliced
  • 1/2 a red onion, thinly sliced
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • Bibb lettuce, for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, combine edamame + rice + PB + green onion + red thai curry paste + 1 tbsp. of soy sauce + juice of 1/2 the lime until well combined
  • Shape into 4 patties + arrange on greased plate (so they don’t stick
  • Meanwhile, combine carrots + onion in a bowl with the remaining soy sauce + lime juice, set aside
  • Heat sesame oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add patties, cooking for 4-5 minutes on each side or until browned to your desire
  • Arrange in lettuce leaves + top with drained carrots + onion
  • Turn up these lil love boats + sail right into your beautiful pie hole

 

 

Adapted from here!

Beet Burgers

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I just want to be the kewlest house in the neighborhood.

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I can never win at being the kewlest person in any given group ever, but maybe my house can win.

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Certainly not for any sort of interior decorating or gardening competition, oh no. I have no talents or time for such things.

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I just mean among the neighborhood children out trick-or-treating. Garr & I are going to church this evening and while I loathe the thought of missing toddlers in dinosaur costumes and the chance to lure one into my home and keep forever, we must get our Jesus on. So I got a couple of bags of GOOD candy – no off brand junk in this house! I’m talking Snickers, M&Ms & the queen – Reese’s. I put it all in a bowl & have it on the front porch with a sign that reads to take as much as you want. Like, I want some little kid to pick up that bowl and dump the entire thing in his pillow case & run back to his mom screaming about his haul. It’s two-fold, really. I’m generous AF and I don’t want to binge candy tonight because I know I have no self control. Honestly, the only level of rich I want to get to is just rich enough to buy full size candy bars & pass out 12 dozen to each kid at Halloween.

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Do you think the parents would mind if I set up a camera to capture footage of their dressed up kids to just have for my personal archives of cuteness?

 

 

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 3 beets, washed + peeled
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 2 cups of white button mushrooms, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts, finely chopped or crushed in a food processor
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of soy sauce
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns, for serving
  • Arugula, for serving
  • Tomato sliced, for serving

How to:

  • Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add mushrooms + S+P, cook another 5-6 minutes
  • Turn off heat, add in black beans + mash them bad boys all up together with the mushroom mix
  • Add to a bowl
  • Meanwhile, grate your beets using a cheese grater + add to the bowl along with the quinoa + walnuts + cumin + chili powder + smoked paprika + red pepper + soy sauce + some more S+P, mix to combine
  • Place mix in the fridge for 30 minutes and preheat your oven to 400 degrees while you wait
  • Form burgers into patties + arrange on a lined, greased baking sheet
  • Bake for 40 minutes, flipping once in the middle
  • Serve warm on buns with arugula + tomatoes
  • Eat 8 on Halloween + rub any of the beet crumbles on your mouth + hands so it looks like BLOOD

 

Adapted from here!