Crispy Quinoa Burgers

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I am SO happy Game of Thrones is back!!!!

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^ A thing I have never said.

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Though I do appreciate any excuse to host a watch party so I’m here for it.

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I especially love this Kit Harrington and Emilia Clarke love story. Not because of their intense physical connection or because it’s an intriguing plot line. It’s simply because they’re both so gorgeous. People that look that way just need to be on my television screen pretending to be in love. The creators really missed the boat on not giving them more screen time, honestly. Unfortunately, the new episode brought me but a single kiss. There are a whole host of other characters I’m supposed to be invested in (Joshua Jackson, it’s nice to see you working!). Alas, I will hold out hope for a spinoff with just Kit and Emilia and their dragons and it will be a lighthearted, live studio sitcom about life in prehistoric times or something.

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My fellow watch party attendees only had to beg me to shut up and stop asking questions once, so I consider it a success.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup quinoa, uncooked
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1/2 cup of panko breadcrumbs
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Lettuce, for serving
  • Tomato, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Buns, for serving

How to:

  • Toast quinoa over low-medium heat for a few minutes, stirring often
  • Cook quinoa according to package directions, drain
  • In a bowl, mash cannellini beans
  • Stir in onion + cilantro + nutritional yeast + breadcrumbs + cooked quinoa + garlic + chili powder + cumin + paprika + red pepper + S+P
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Form into patties + place 2-3 in the skillet, not overcrowding, cook for 4 minutes per side or until crispy
  • Repeat with remaining patties
  • To serve, place a patty on a bun + top with lettuce + tomato + avocado
  • Take burger in one hand, smush it between your grimy fingers + rub contents on your face in a nice war paint fashion, you are prepared to attack the rest of the burgers

 

Vegan Sloppy Joes

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I did it. I’ve taken the plunge.

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I’ve done a swan dive into the deep blue sea that is finally binge watching Friends.

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Why has it taken me this long, you ask? Oh, I don’t know. I’m just not big on conforming.

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This isn’t true. I love rules and following order. 10 seasons of anything is just such a big commitment. Who has the time? Who can stand to see this exquisitely cast ensemble in timeless situations? Who wants to just be blissfully ignorant of the world’s turmoil for perfectly carved out 20 minute blocks of time? Well, everyone unless you are a space alien or someone with a really radical social life. It’s just such a darn good program, ya know? I always LOVED having the same name as Jennifer Aniston’s character. My dad used to tell me, “They gave the prettiest girl the prettiest name.” This gave me a complex for a long time, but man, did I love hearing it! And the CLOTHES! My mother dressed just like them in the 90s and I idolized her style. I wish it was still acceptable for women in their mid to late 20s to sport their bare midriff in any and every situation. How freeing.

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It’s nice watching on Netflix because every like 3 episodes it judges me and asks if I’m still watching.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of kidney beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of lentils, cooked
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 green pepper, diced
  • 12 oz. can of tomato sauce
  • 6 oz. can of tomato paste
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns for serving

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add green pepper, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add tomato sauce + paste + soy sauce + apple cider vinegar + chili powder + cumin + oregano + paprika + red pepper + S+P, bring to a lil boil, turn down heat + simmer for 7-8 minutes
  • Add beans + lentils, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Serve on toasted buns
  • Strap on your bib + pull that hair in your nastiest top knot + just smash your face in a large plate of this

 

 

Pinto + Lentil West Coast Burgers

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Today was Garrett’s first day at his new job.

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For the last two months, he was transitioning to his new role from home. Meaning, he’s been home with me every day for the last two months. Meaning, we’ve been around each other all day every day for the last two months. All day. Every day.

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I love this meathead with all of my heart and lifeless soul, but do you know what it’s like to be around a human being that often? It’s not natural, I tell you!

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Both of us working from home in a 1,400 square foot house is simply not ideal. We just have different styles. I like slow, acoustic jams for my background music and he prefers blaring hardcore trap songs. I like to read on my lunch break and he likes to have play time with Topanga and throw toys at my face. I like to be quiet and respectful while he is on the phone and he prefers to take out every pot and pan we own and bang them against each other while I am on calls. Needless to say, I anticipated this day with joy and ecstasy until about noon today when I desperately missed his mid-day giggles and toots.

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To top it off, he gets all perfect and romantic on me and wakes ME up with breakfast in bed on HIS first day. I truly suck.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 burgers

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups of green lentils, cooked
  • 1 can of pinto beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 medium white onion, diced
  • 1/3 cup of walnuts, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 2 avocadoes
  • 2 roma tomatoes, diced
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, mash the avo + add some S+P, set aside
  • In another bowl, combine tomatoes + 1/4 cup of the onion + jalapeno + 1 tbsp. of cilantro + S+P, set aside
  • In a big bowl, combine lentils + pinto beans, combine well, mashing most of it
  • Add in walnuts + onion + remaining cilantro + garlic + chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika + S+P, combine well
  • Refrigerate for 20-30 minutes
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Form mix into 6 patties, place 3 into skillet, cook 4-5 minutes, flip cook another 4 minutes
  • Remove from pan
  • Add remaining oil + cook remaining patties
  • Serve hot on buns with avocado + pico you made
  • If you serve on slider buns, it tricks your mind into thinking you can have more and then you will have a happier and bigger belly