Autumn Greek Salad

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Lately, my biggest fear and greatest hope are the same thing.

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Is that the opening verse of a pop song or what??? Call me, T. Swift.

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It’s true, though. It’s like I’m so terrified of this thing happening, but I also I kind of desperately want it to………….

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So I live in a townhouse and share a wall with neighbors on the left and the right. They are fine folk, kind, agreeable, all that. I work from home so I spend a lot of time inside said townhouse. While I work or do house chores or just generally live, I have music playing. The genres vary depending on my rapidly changing moods. I can go from top 40 to indie to Broadway to Christian to folk to emo jams I used to have as my MySpace songs all in a day’s work. No matter the genre or my mood, I sing along. And I only have one volume. Can you guess what it is? Basically a deafening, blood curdling scream. You would think I would have more consideration for my neighbors, but nah. I’ve got the music in me, what can I do?? I have a sneaking suspicious my neighbors have all heard me at least 39458 times and they make fun of me to their friends. The thought brings me to my knees in terror, but also….do you think they think I’m good? Like, what if they tell their friends that their neighbor is maybe a professional singer and they send recordings of my performances to them to prove my talents??? That would be neat.

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Eventually, I’m going to find a strongly worded letter in my mailbox telling me to invest in a muzzle.

 

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 4-6 cups of arugula or mixed greens
  • 1 spaghetti squash, halved + deseeded
  • 1 butternut squash, peeled + deseeded + cut into cubes
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1 english cucumber, sliced thin
  • 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup of kalamata olives, halved
  • 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of Dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1/3 cup of olive oil + 2 tbsp.
  • S+P, to taste
  • Pumpkin seeds, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange spaghetti squash halves on a baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P, arrange cut side down
  • Line another baking sheet with foil + arrange butternut squash in an even layer + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Bake both for 40-45 minutes, tossing butternut squash once in the middle of cooking + checking on your spaghetti squash to make sure it’s not charring
  • Once cooled, pull out the spaghetti squash noodles
  • Meanwhile, combine apple cider vinegar + garlic + Dijon + agave + remaining olive oil + S+P
  • In a bowl, combine tomatoes + cucumber + onion + olives + 1-2 tbsp. of the apple cider vinaigrette, let marinate until ready to serve
  • To serve, arrange some greens on a plate + top with spaghetti squash + butternut squash + marinated veggies + pumpkin seeds + a lil more dressing
  • Hopscotch your fork from squash to squash, getting a lil bit of everything on your utensil, then slingshot it all into your pie hole, repeat until you are full or your wrist is exhausted from slingshotting

Buttnernut Squash + Beet Pizza

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My husband just asked what is the difference between the Oscars and the Academy Awards.

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How did I end up with him, honestly?

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It was another successful Oscar Sunday in my household. Snacks were served, a guessing game was played, an exclusive performance by muah of the entire A Star Is Born soundtrack was witnessed.

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Speaking of, will I ever recover from the Gaga/B Coop performance? My dreams for the last three nights tell me no. When they came back from commercial and the camera is filming the audience as the stage hands set up the piano and you hear the opening chords, I was all wait, what, what is happening, what is going on?!? Then, they rise from their seats like friggin PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES and walk hand in hand on stage, I truly almost fainted. I was not mentally prepared. Then they opened their mouths and started singing and my blood began to boil in a positive way. Like, I started to sweat and get light headed. Bradley was obviously nervous and Gaga just calmed his nerves via the secret brain waves they share. When he started walking towards her, again, I had to force myself not to pass out. He sits, puts his arm around her & I had to fight back tears. I cannot remember when I’ve been subjected to that much passion on live TV. They finish the song, pause, look at each other, and in that intimate moment, I just began to scream. Kiss her. Kiss her! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The friends I had over for a watch party are no longer speaking to me, but they’re probably just really busy.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza

Ingredients:

For dough, if making homemade –

  • 3 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 2 1/2 ounces of active dry yeast, activated
  • 1 tsp. of S
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil

For toppings –

  • 1 butternut squash, peeled + cubed
  • 3-4 baby beets, peeled + sliced thin
  • 1 onion, sliced thin
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of spinach, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, taste
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a large bowl, combine flour + activated yeast + S
  • Mix in a cup of warm water + the olive oil + knead until it forms a dough ball
  • Let sit for 15 minutes
  • Roll out onto a floured surface + place on an oiled pizza stone or cookie sheet
  • Bake 10-15 minutes or crisp to your desire
  • Meanwhile, arrange butternut squash on lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Roast 20-25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, heat another tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 7-8 minutes or until caramelized to your desire
  • Stir in beans + S+P, cook 1-2 minutes, turn off heat
  • Process butternut squash in a food processor with garlic + remaining olive oil
  • To assemble pizza, spread butternut squash puree on cooked pizza dough + top with onion/bean mix + sliced beets
  • Cook another 10 minutes
  • Top with fresh spinach, serve warm
  • Take leftover beet slices to the local park + use as mini frisbees with pals

 

Dough from here!

Butternut Noodle Bowls

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How many pairs of eyewear will I purchase online before I realize it’s a very bad idea?

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3 dozen? 100? Does the limit really not exist?

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I legit get a new pair every 8 months because I can no longer stand the sight of myself in the giant goggles I choose.

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I always order from the same site and they are chock full of the latest fashions and v stylish options. I’m hip, I’m trendy, I can wear those ginormous oblong frames, right? Wrong. They even offer free at-home try-ons so you’re not stuck with something that looks horrendous. Do I utilize this convenient service? No, never. I always think this time is going to be different. This pair will perfectly my fit equal parts long face and chubby cheeks. A new pair arrived yesterday. These are much smaller than my old pairs, neatly round, no crazy shape, and pink. Pink! I have found the perfect pair! I sent a selfie to my father who immediately told me I look more and more like a grandmother everyday.

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The BEST part of new glasses is the first couple of days where they haven’t stretched to my face & they are squeezing my head so hard they leave stellar bruises.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 butternut squash, spiralized
  • 1 red onion, sliced thin
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms, sliced thin
  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1 zucchini, sliced into thin ribbons
  • 1/2 cup of pomegranate seeds
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange cauliflower on a lined baking sheet with a drizzle of 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast 20-25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, heat another tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add mushrooms + S+P, cook another 5 minutes
  • Toss the raw butternut squash noodles + raw zucchini + mushroom + onion mix + cauliflower in a large bowl with remaining olive oil + lemon juice + pomegranate seeds + S+P
  • Refrigerate for a bit + serve chilled or room temp
  • Enjoy slurping the entirety of this guilt free meal + doing a lil happy jig around your party pad in celebration