Buttnernut Squash + Beet Pizza

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My husband just asked what is the difference between the Oscars and the Academy Awards.

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How did I end up with him, honestly?

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It was another successful Oscar Sunday in my household. Snacks were served, a guessing game was played, an exclusive performance by muah of the entire A Star Is Born soundtrack was witnessed.

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Speaking of, will I ever recover from the Gaga/B Coop performance? My dreams for the last three nights tell me no. When they came back from commercial and the camera is filming the audience as the stage hands set up the piano and you hear the opening chords, I was all wait, what, what is happening, what is going on?!? Then, they rise from their seats like friggin PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES and walk hand in hand on stage, I truly almost fainted. I was not mentally prepared. Then they opened their mouths and started singing and my blood began to boil in a positive way. Like, I started to sweat and get light headed. Bradley was obviously nervous and Gaga just calmed his nerves via the secret brain waves they share. When he started walking towards her, again, I had to force myself not to pass out. He sits, puts his arm around her & I had to fight back tears. I cannot remember when I’ve been subjected to that much passion on live TV. They finish the song, pause, look at each other, and in that intimate moment, I just began to scream. Kiss her. Kiss her! KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The friends I had over for a watch party are no longer speaking to me, but they’re probably just really busy.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza

Ingredients:

For dough, if making homemade –

  • 3 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 2 1/2 ounces of active dry yeast, activated
  • 1 tsp. of S
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil

For toppings –

  • 1 butternut squash, peeled + cubed
  • 3-4 baby beets, peeled + sliced thin
  • 1 onion, sliced thin
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of spinach, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, taste
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a large bowl, combine flour + activated yeast + S
  • Mix in a cup of warm water + the olive oil + knead until it forms a dough ball
  • Let sit for 15 minutes
  • Roll out onto a floured surface + place on an oiled pizza stone or cookie sheet
  • Bake 10-15 minutes or crisp to your desire
  • Meanwhile, arrange butternut squash on lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Roast 20-25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, heat another tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 7-8 minutes or until caramelized to your desire
  • Stir in beans + S+P, cook 1-2 minutes, turn off heat
  • Process butternut squash in a food processor with garlic + remaining olive oil
  • To assemble pizza, spread butternut squash puree on cooked pizza dough + top with onion/bean mix + sliced beets
  • Cook another 10 minutes
  • Top with fresh spinach, serve warm
  • Take leftover beet slices to the local park + use as mini frisbees with pals

 

Dough from here!

Butternut Noodle Bowls

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How many pairs of eyewear will I purchase online before I realize it’s a very bad idea?

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3 dozen? 100? Does the limit really not exist?

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I legit get a new pair every 8 months because I can no longer stand the sight of myself in the giant goggles I choose.

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I always order from the same site and they are chock full of the latest fashions and v stylish options. I’m hip, I’m trendy, I can wear those ginormous oblong frames, right? Wrong. They even offer free at-home try-ons so you’re not stuck with something that looks horrendous. Do I utilize this convenient service? No, never. I always think this time is going to be different. This pair will perfectly my fit equal parts long face and chubby cheeks. A new pair arrived yesterday. These are much smaller than my old pairs, neatly round, no crazy shape, and pink. Pink! I have found the perfect pair! I sent a selfie to my father who immediately told me I look more and more like a grandmother everyday.

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The BEST part of new glasses is the first couple of days where they haven’t stretched to my face & they are squeezing my head so hard they leave stellar bruises.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 butternut squash, spiralized
  • 1 red onion, sliced thin
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms, sliced thin
  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1 zucchini, sliced into thin ribbons
  • 1/2 cup of pomegranate seeds
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange cauliflower on a lined baking sheet with a drizzle of 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast 20-25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, heat another tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add mushrooms + S+P, cook another 5 minutes
  • Toss the raw butternut squash noodles + raw zucchini + mushroom + onion mix + cauliflower in a large bowl with remaining olive oil + lemon juice + pomegranate seeds + S+P
  • Refrigerate for a bit + serve chilled or room temp
  • Enjoy slurping the entirety of this guilt free meal + doing a lil happy jig around your party pad in celebration

Butternut Burrito Bowls

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I really thought I had defined all airport archetypes, but alas, I continue to be surprised.

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To preface, I’m not judging my fellow travelers, I’m simply observing their habits with a keen eye, taking as many mental pictures as I can and recording all my data and research so I can one day compile a book on air travelers, simple.

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My most recent discovery is really a matter of etiquette. Allow me to pose a question: What foods are OK to bring on a plane?

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I’ll admit I’m personally lenient on the issue. Like, I’ll bring an everything bagel onto a plane, noooo problemo. No one makes small talk with onion breath Rachel! Burgers, sammies, burrito bowls, I’m really fine with it. Peeps gotta eat, right? I’m on a plane yesterday, snacking on some almonds, reading my book, when I get a whiff of something stank. I’m accustomed to passenger foot stank as I know some folks are super pro-shoeless-flying, but this was different. It was definitely food. And it was definitely fish. On a plane. Like snakes on a plane, except more frightening? Idk. At first I was like, I am definitely making this up. No one brought fish on this plane. I turn and see a gal just going to town on a tuna salad and owning every bite. I couldn’t be upset, I could tell she was loving her dinner and living her best life up there at 30,000 feet. In the end, are my onion bagels so different from her tuna salad? No, I say, no, they are not.

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To my fellow pungent food plane eaters, I applaud you for living your truth.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 butternut squash, peeled + cubed
  • 1 package of soyrizo
  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1 red pepper, chopped
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1 cup of roasted corn
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 2 tsp. of cumin
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Arrange butternut squash on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp of olive oil + sprinkle with chili powder + 1 tsp. of cumin + S+P
  • Roast 20-25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add soyrizo, cook 5-6 minutes
  • Add jalapeno, cook another 2 minutes
  • Meanwhile, heat black beans in a lil pot over low-med heat with remaining cumin + S+P
  • To serve, add some quinoa + squash + soyrizo mix + beans + red pepper + corn to a bowl and top with cilantro + avocado, serve hot
  • Light up your pumpkin candles, swaddle yourself in scarves + sweaters + sit by the fire, delicately eating your burrito bowl + being the basic autumn queen you are