Buffalo Chickpea Burritos

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What kind of backwoods, boonies town do I live in that we just got recycling cans like yesterday??

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For months, my plastics and cardboard have gone into the TRASH.

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The deforestation and pollution I must have caused. I shudder!

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To make up for the many trees I undoubtedly destroyed, I decided to take a couple of proactive measures. First, I purchased a reusable straw. These are very in right now. It came in a stylish lil pink container with an easy cleaning tool! I used it like 4 times and every time I whipped it out I felt like an environmental crusader, just doing my part one sip at a time. Then I left it at a restaurant, obviously. To compensate, I offered to take the recyclables home after volunteering at church on Sunday. We’re leaving and I throw a giant trash bag full of milk cartons over my shoulder. Garr stops in his tracks and is like, “What are you doing….?” I explained and he is all, no, nope, not happening, we are not starting this. Apparently, he thinks taking recyclables from church might be a gateway drug. Like, eventually I’ll start calling random restaurants and offering to pick up their salvageable materials.

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Ha! He’s funny. I’m not ready for that, I’m still working on my spreadsheet of local shops that don’t recycle.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of cooked chickpeas
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 roma tomato, diced
  • 1 cup of carrots, shredded
  • 1/2 cup of cabbage, shredded
  • 1 avocado, diced
  • 1 cup of buffalo sauce
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tsp of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Tortillas, for serving

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add chickpeas + onion powder + garlic powder + paprika + cumin + chili powder + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes or until starting to crisp
  • Add buffalo sauce, coat + cook another 2 minutes
  • To serve, lay out a warmed up tortilla on a flat surface, top with chickpeas + tomato + carrots + cabbage + avocado
  • Roll up, folding the sides in as you go, until you have a nice lil burrito baby
  • Repeat with remaining ingredients
  • Hold burrito in both hands, length wise, and nibble on it like a corn on the cob, terrifying all your pals

Banh Mi Lettuce Wraps

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Nothing like moving to make you realize you have too many underpants.

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Between the two of us, there are just underpants everywhere.

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Moving so much has really made me a master of minimalism. Everything we own has a purpose and a place. Except, that is, for all of the freaking underpants!

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The movers arrive Monday. They are beautiful angels who are going to pack up all of our junk for us. But because I anticipate these angels coming in disguise as giant, burly dudes, I’m taking it upon myself to pack our delicates. Although I trust these gentleman are hygienic, I cannot allow their grubby paws on such personal items! There are, like, 3 bags worth of undergarments thus far. Why? Where did these come from?? I blame the 5 for $20 bins at Target.

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I also have, like, a lot of athletic gear for someone who only does yoga and goes on walks.

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 9-10 lettuce wraps

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 carrot, peeled + shredded into thin strips
  • 1 jalapeno, chopped
  • 4-5 radishes, thinly sliced
  • 1/2 English cucumber, thinly sliced
  • 1/2 cup of rice vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of coconut sugar
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 avocado, sliced thin, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Butter lettuce leaves, for sering
  • 1/2 cup of vegan mayo
  • 2 tbsp. of sriracha
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine carrot + jalapeno + radishes + cucumber
  • Add vinegar + sugar + about 1 tsp. of salt
  • Let sit while you prepare tempeh
  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh + S+P, cook for 4-5 minutes or until browned on all sides
  • Add soy sauce, cook another 1-2 minutes or until absorbed
  • Remove from pan
  • Combine mayo + sriracha, set aside
  • To assemble, add tempeh + pickled veggies + some avocado + cilantro + sriracha mayo in a lettuce cup
  • Pack picnic, head to a grassy knoll + have your sweetie feed you these while simultaneously fanning you

Spring Rolls

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Things that are not OK volume 3246:

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Humans being sucked out of airplanes!!!!!!!!!

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As someone who was literally on a Southwest flight yesterday at the exact same time this particular plane’s engine exploded, it’s just a little too close for comfort!!!!!

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I think we all do it. You know, have incredibly morbid thoughts right before boarding the plane and perform little rituals to ensure your safe arrival at your intended destination. For instance, I always touch the outside of the plane as I enter it and ask God to bless this vessel that is about to hurl me through space. I also size up my row mates based on who I’d most like to hold hands and cry with in the event of an emergency. However, I always know deep down I am going to be OK. Until yesterday’s events brought me back to the reality that nothing and no one is safe and your worst nightmares can become real in an instant.

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Just to provide you some uplifting words this evening.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 dozen spring rolls

Ingredients:

  • 12 spring roll wrappers
  • 2 carrots, shredded
  • 1 red bell pepper, chopped thin
  • 1 cucumber, sliced thin
  • 1 avocado, sliced thin
  • 5-6 green onions, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 1 cup of vermicelli (thin rice noodles)
  • Sweet + sour sauce, for serving

How to:

  • Prepare the vermicelli according to package directions (for mine, they just soaked in warm water about 20 minutes)
  • Prepare your wrappers by making sure they’re pliable + ready to stuffing + rolling (depending on the brand, you may have to dunk in water or just spread the ends in water)
  • Lay a wrapper flat + place some noodles + carrots + bell pepper + cucumber + avocado + green onions + cilantro at one end
  • Roll wrapper over the ingredients, tuck the sides in, keep rolling, making sure sides stay tucked
  • Repeat with remaining wrappers + ingredients
  • Serve with extra green onion + sweet + sour sauce
  • Smash a roll into your face, allowing roll insides to fall into your many face holes