Banh Mi Lettuce Wraps

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Nothing like moving to make you realize you have too many underpants.

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Between the two of us, there are just underpants everywhere.

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Moving so much has really made me a master of minimalism. Everything we own has a purpose and a place. Except, that is, for all of the freaking underpants!

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The movers arrive Monday. They are beautiful angels who are going to pack up all of our junk for us. But because I anticipate these angels coming in disguise as giant, burly dudes, I’m taking it upon myself to pack our delicates. Although I trust these gentleman are hygienic, I cannot allow their grubby paws on such personal items! There are, like, 3 bags worth of undergarments thus far. Why? Where did these come from?? I blame the 5 for $20 bins at Target.

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I also have, like, a lot of athletic gear for someone who only does yoga and goes on walks.

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 9-10 lettuce wraps

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 carrot, peeled + shredded into thin strips
  • 1 jalapeno, chopped
  • 4-5 radishes, thinly sliced
  • 1/2 English cucumber, thinly sliced
  • 1/2 cup of rice vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of coconut sugar
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 avocado, sliced thin, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Butter lettuce leaves, for sering
  • 1/2 cup of vegan mayo
  • 2 tbsp. of sriracha
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine carrot + jalapeno + radishes + cucumber
  • Add vinegar + sugar + about 1 tsp. of salt
  • Let sit while you prepare tempeh
  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh + S+P, cook for 4-5 minutes or until browned on all sides
  • Add soy sauce, cook another 1-2 minutes or until absorbed
  • Remove from pan
  • Combine mayo + sriracha, set aside
  • To assemble, add tempeh + pickled veggies + some avocado + cilantro + sriracha mayo in a lettuce cup
  • Pack picnic, head to a grassy knoll + have your sweetie feed you these while simultaneously fanning you

Spring Rolls

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Things that are not OK volume 3246:

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Humans being sucked out of airplanes!!!!!!!!!

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As someone who was literally on a Southwest flight yesterday at the exact same time this particular plane’s engine exploded, it’s just a little too close for comfort!!!!!

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I think we all do it. You know, have incredibly morbid thoughts right before boarding the plane and perform little rituals to ensure your safe arrival at your intended destination. For instance, I always touch the outside of the plane as I enter it and ask God to bless this vessel that is about to hurl me through space. I also size up my row mates based on who I’d most like to hold hands and cry with in the event of an emergency. However, I always know deep down I am going to be OK. Until yesterday’s events brought me back to the reality that nothing and no one is safe and your worst nightmares can become real in an instant.

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Just to provide you some uplifting words this evening.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 dozen spring rolls

Ingredients:

  • 12 spring roll wrappers
  • 2 carrots, shredded
  • 1 red bell pepper, chopped thin
  • 1 cucumber, sliced thin
  • 1 avocado, sliced thin
  • 5-6 green onions, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 1 cup of vermicelli (thin rice noodles)
  • Sweet + sour sauce, for serving

How to:

  • Prepare the vermicelli according to package directions (for mine, they just soaked in warm water about 20 minutes)
  • Prepare your wrappers by making sure they’re pliable + ready to stuffing + rolling (depending on the brand, you may have to dunk in water or just spread the ends in water)
  • Lay a wrapper flat + place some noodles + carrots + bell pepper + cucumber + avocado + green onions + cilantro at one end
  • Roll wrapper over the ingredients, tuck the sides in, keep rolling, making sure sides stay tucked
  • Repeat with remaining wrappers + ingredients
  • Serve with extra green onion + sweet + sour sauce
  • Smash a roll into your face, allowing roll insides to fall into your many face holes

Roasted Winter Veggies + Smashed Walnut Vinaigrette

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I am the queen of public transportation, hear me ROAR!!!

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Your girl traversed the DC metro and hailed like 8 NYC cabs ALL BY HERSELF.

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I am the EPITOME of a city girl.

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I only got turned around in the metro station like 3 times. I highly recommend a small bridge to get to the opposite platform rather than forcing me to take 18 escalators (have y’all SEEN that video of the woman getting sucked into one of those?!). I just tried  to channel my inner first lady and act like a refined, political guru. I grabbed a Washington Post and pretended to read it while on the metro so I looked like I had a clue.

NYC was interesting. I’m like an 8 out of 10 at hailing cabs, I’d say. The rejection kind of stings, though. I also think one laughed at me while whizzing past. Can’t be sure. The worst part is the nausea. There was no mention of fighting back upchuck on the travel blogs! The herky jerk driving and constant horn blaring about me put me over the edge. When I finally move to the Upper East Side, I’ll certainly need a car service.

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For now it’s back to ole faithful – my 2004 Honda Civic that resembles a Tonka truck.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of colorful, petite carrots, rinsed
  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, peeled + halved
  • 1 lb. of cauliflower, rinsed + cut into florets
  • 1/4 cup of red wine vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of maple syrup
  • 2 tsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts
  • Zest of 1 orange
  • 1/2 cup of olive oil + 3 tbsp.
  • S+P, to taste
  • Parsley, to serve

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 425
  • On 3 separate, lined baking sheets, arrange carrots + brussels sprouts + cauliflower
  • Drizzle each with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Roast all together – carrots + cauliflower for 30 minutes + brussels for 20 – stirring both halfway through
  • Meanwhile, heat a dry skillet over low heat
  • Add walnuts, toast, tossing often for 3-5 minutes
  • Remove + chop
  • Meanwhile, combine remaining olive oil + vinegar + syrup + dijon + walnuts + orange zest + S+P
  • Add all veggies in a pan + drizzle with dressing + top with parsley
  • Serve warm
  • For a fun party game, serve to carnivorous husband as his dinner + see if he stays married to you

 

Recipe from here!

http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/roasted-vegetables-smashed-walnut-vinaigrette