Buffalo Chickpea Pizza

Well, it’s official.

I’m cooking the world’s largest baby.

I am supposed to have like 4.5 weeks to go.

But this baby is already 6lb 15oz. Yes, you read that right. I have a fully grown newborn in me already. Which is truly the BIGGEST blessing (literally). The best part – her head is measuring in the 99th percentile. So like tomorrow she’ll hit 100 and have the biggest baby head of all time literally ever. Like, I’m sorry, how is this child going to get out of me….. My doctor seems unconcerned, though. He’s like, yeah you’re just going to have a big baby! As if there haven’t been enough understatements of 2020.

Apparently, she does have hair, though, so that heartburn wives tale is accurate.

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 red bell pepper, diced
  • 1/2 red onion, diced
  • 2 cups of arugula
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, diced
  • 1/2 cup of buffalo sauce
  • 1 cauliflower crust
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Arrange chickpeas on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with olive oil + S+P
  • Bake 20-25 minutes, toss once in the middle
  • Once cooked, spread buffalo sauce on crust + top with chickpeas + red pepper + onion
  • Bake according to package directions
  • Remove + top with arugula + cilantro
  • Serve hot
  • As the buffalo sauce gets you sweating, just chalk it up to exercise

Cauliflower Po’Boy

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I saw humans IN PERSON this weekend!

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After 29 years of extreme introversion, who knew I’d be so happy to leave the house?

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Don’t worry, I didn’t touch a soul & it was a small, trusted group at someone’s home.

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It just felt so nice to do something seemingly ~normal~. I love Garrett with my entire heart, but he is LITERALLY the only human being I’ve really seen in 2 months. It was nice to converse in person with others. The not hugging or getting too close thing was a little odd, but tbh I could get used to it. I’ll do whatever it takes for this virus to get gone & business to reopen! Idk about where y’all live, but NC has just barely begun to open up. Still no bars or dining in at restaurants which I’m grateful for, but it is nice to see the streets a bit busier. If only we could all just wear our masks, social distance & follow the daggum rules, we might actually get through this quarantine & not have to do it again after all!

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But my faith in mere mortals is lacking these days, so we’ll see.

 

 

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4 sandwiches

Ingredients:

  • 1 large head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cajun seasoning
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of paprika
  • 3/4 cup plain almond milk
  • 2 cups of panko breadcrumbs
  • 1 tbsp. of grainy mustard
  • 1 tsp. of sriracha
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • Tomato slices, for serving
  • Arugula, for serving
  • Toasted hoagies, for serving

 

How to:

  • In a large bowl, combine flour + garlic + onion powder + cajun seasoning + cumin + paprika + S+P
  • Add in milk + 3/4 cup of water, combine until formed into a batter
  • In another bowl, add bread crumbs
  • Dredge cauliflower florets in batter, then bread crumbs + place in air fryer basket in an even layer (might have to do two rounds of frying)
  • Air fry for 20 minutes, flipping once
  • Meanwhile, combine mustard + sriracha + juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • To serve, spread your mustard mix on both sides of a hoagie, add tomato slices + cauliflower + arugula + drizzle with some of the remaining lemon juice
  • Serve hot
  • Squeeze the bread together to kind of mush everything together + unhinge your jaw + go to town

 

 

Adapted from here!

Veggie Enchilada Skillet

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My wrist hurts.

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From e-signing a bunch of documents in this daggum house hunt.

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Mostly my head hurts from trying to decipher the legal jargon.

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My pebble brain does not know what half of this crap means. I am probably signing away my rights and first born child. Garrett and I read through every document, look at each other and go, “Just sign it, we’re never going to understand.” This is how you make major life decisions, right? Just wing it and hope you don’t get sued? There are so many real estate acronyms that we are just ~expected~ to know. And what actually IS escrow?  Is it a place? Is it a state of mind?

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I’m just trying to spend an exorbitant amount of money in exchange for a roof over my head, is that too much to ask?

 

 

 

Time; 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 1 poblano pepper, seeded + chopped
  • 1 bell pepper, chopped
  • 1 zucchini, sliced thin + halved
  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1 cup of frozen corn
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 jar of red enchilada sauce or this homemade version
  • 8-10 corn tortillas, cut into lil strips
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 450
  • In a large cast iron skillet, heat oil
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add poblano + bell pepper + zucchini + cauliflower + S+P, cook another 6-7 minutes
  • Stir in corn + black beans + cumin + chili powder + smoked paprika + S+P, cook another two minutes
  • Pour in half the enchilada sauce + stir
  • Fold in tortilla strips + stir in remaining sauce, cook for 2-3 minutes
  • Place in oven to toast up for about 5-6 minutes
  • Serve warm with cilantro + avocado
  • Mix it all up + slingshot a big heaping helping right into your pie hole

 

Adapted from here!