Cauliflower Tagine

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So I just binged this show “Cheer” on Netflix.

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And I was reminded I danced in high school.

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A fact I absolutely cannot even believe is true given my lack of talent and disdain for group activities.

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I was so bad, dude. Like, I had no business on that team. I couldn’t turn or jump, I think I made it cause I was short and could be hidden easily. I literally danced because I thought it would make me kewl. Spoiler alert: that didn’t work. And in turn I was fairly miserable. It’s just not fun being the very worst in a room of like 30 people at something! We did win Nationals one year which was pretty dope. I legit think it came down to me hitting my triple turn which I BARELY DID. In the video, you can practically see me gritting my teeth and just praying the Lord would spin me around three times. I was so happy I hit it, I almost stopped and ran off the floor right then and there I was so pumped.

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I should have listened to my parents when they politely told me I had no future in dance and should stick to literally any other activity.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 lemon, skin peeled + chopped
  • 1 head of cauliflower, sliced into florets
  • 1 can of chopped tomatoes
  • 8-10 baby carrots, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup of kalamata olives, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • 1 cup of raw lentils
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 2 tsp. of ground coriander
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a cast iron skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add chili powder + cumin + coriander + crushed red pepper + some S+P, cook another minute
  • Add the tomatoes + tomato paste + lemon zest + S+P, cook another 1-2 minutes
  • Add olives + carrots + cauliflower, coat + cook 2-3 minutes
  • Add about 1/2 cup of water, cover + simmer for 15 minutes or until cauli is tender
  • Meanwhile, cook lentils according to package directions + season with S+P
  • Add lentils to cauli skillet, cook 2-3 minutes
  • Serve warm with cilantro
  • Dive into this rainbow journey + discover the pot of gold at the end of the trail, aka a v happy gut

 

 

Adapted from here!

Broccolini + White Beans over Cauli Cous Cous

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When I die, just bury me in CenturyLink Field.

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My addiction to the Seattle Seahawks is impacting my health.

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I can’t sleep, I overeat, it’s a problem.

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Last night, they played at 8:15pm. Well, ya girl is SNOOZING by 9pm, so this presented a major problem. I watched for a few minutes, then shut it off at promptly 8:58pm, telling myself I would wake up to the outcome and be OK no matter what. I plumb SHOT out of bed at midnight & the first thing I did was check the final score. SEAHAWKS WIN, BABAY. Well, now I’m obviously too hyped up to sleep. I spend the rest of the evening tossing and turning with joy and faint anxiety that I dreamt the win as opposed to it being real. I legit woke up 6 more times dreaming of Russell Wilson and company just tossing the pigskin and being my baby boys.

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We’re going to a game in a couple of weeks & I might just have Garrett leave me there & I’ll find work in a hotdog kiosk.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 bunch of broccolini, trimmed
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, drained + rinsed
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1 shallot, sliced thin
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 cauliflower, riced in a food processor
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Pomegranate seeds, for serving
  • Hummus, for serving

How to:

  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a cast-iron skillet over medium heat
  • Arrange broccolini in an even layer + add S+P + crushed red pepper, cook + char all over, 6-8 minutes
  • Remove + add another tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add shallot + S+P, cook 2-3 minutes
  • Add beans + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Remove + add remaining olive oil
  • Add tomatoes + S+P, cook for 5-6 minutes until nice + blistered
  • Meanwhile, add 1/2 cup of water to the bottom of a large skillet + add S+P, bring to a simmer
  • Add cauliflower rice, bring to a simmer, reduce heat + cover + cook for 10 minutes, season with S+P
  • To serve, arrange cauli cous cous on a plate + top with broccolini + beans + tomatoes + top with pomegranate seeds + hummus
  • Mix up all the goodness + slingshot bits of food into your own mouth without damaging an eyeball

Pesto Cauliflower with Butter Beans + Blistered Tomatoes

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I think I had my first hot flash.

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At 28. Is that even possible?

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Farewell, cruel world. I’m out.

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I’m getting ready for bed two nights ago and all of a sudden I am overcome with heat. Like I can feel my scalp get hot and start to dampen. My cheeks flush. I feel like I am going to burst out of my skin. I accuse Garrett of turning off the air and/or poisoning me. I’m like running around the house trying to figure out what is happening to make me so hot. Air is working, fan is on, everything is normal. It’s me. I’m just boiling from the inside out. These are just as terrible as Diane Keaton has always told us. I’m sorry, I simply won’t survive anymore of these. I hope someone is working on a menopause pill that allows us to bypass these symptoms. I only calmed down after ripping off all my clothes and standing in front of the oscillating fan for 20 minutes while contemplating aging and my mortality. It was a dark day.

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I’ve tried to since convince myself it was just the summer heat and I’m a delicate southern belle who must be fanned and tended to with iced teas and fresh hankies to dab at my sweaty brow.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1 can of butter beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/4 cup of sundried tomatoes, chopped
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, rinsed + halved
  • 1 cup of basil
  • 1 cup of spinach
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/3 cup + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine basil + spinach + walnuts + nutritional yeast + 1 tbsp. of garlic + lemon juice + S+P
  • Process while drizzling in 1/3 cup of olive oil until smooth
  • Thin with a little water if necessary
  • In a bowl, toss cauliflower with half of the pesto
  • Arrange on a lined baking sheet
  • Bake 30-35 minutes, tossing once, until browned to your desire
  • Meanwhile, heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add beans + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add sundried tomatoes + crushed red pepper, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Remove from pan
  • Add tomatoes to hot skillet with S+P, cook 4-5 minutes
  • To serve, arrange some cauli on a plate + top with beans + tomatoes + remaining pesto
  • On your plate, create a cauli road for you to traipse down with your scarecrow friend + find magical adventure + fun