Spicy Open-Faced Sammies

What’s fun about baby stomach viruses

is that moms get them too.

That’s right, ladies and gents, now I’m down for the count.

And on my baby’s birthday weekend no less! What an utter tragedy. Fortunately, I managed to muster enough energy to celebrate her a wee bit. By that I mean, I still stuck her in her hotdog costume, baked a couple of mini bundt cakes & opened her presents for her. Never have I felt joy like Lou did when she opened up a mini shopping cart with mini groceries inside. Just imagine a hotdog toddling through a kitchen with that. I’ll wait. I don’t know if everyone feels this way, but my kid’s birthday is just so much more fun than my own.

Could be the fact that I’m approaching middle age, but I digress.

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 2 sandwich rolls – I used french bread
  • 1 can of pinto beans, drained + rinsed
  • 2 large radishes, sliced thin
  • 2 roma tomatoes, diced
  • 1 jalapeno, diced – up to you how many seeds you leave in
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Vegan mozz

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 375 degrees
  • Slice your rolls open + drizzle 1 tbsp. of olive oil all over them
  • Bake for 4-5 minutes to get golden
  • Meanwhile, combine radishes + tomatoes + jalapeno + 1/2 the lime juice + S+P
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a sauce pan
  • Add beans + cumin + chili powder + smoked paprika + S+P, cook 5-6 minutes, stirring + mashing occasionally
  • Remove from heat + add remaining lime juice
  • Spread some beans on your rolls + sprinkle with your vegan mozz, bake another 5-6 minutes or until the cheese is melty
  • Serve warm with your radish slaw on top

Recipe from here!

Vegan Buffalo Mac

Our fridge is on the fritz.

Yesterday it started making this horrendously loud humming noise. Try as I might to ignore it and tell myself everything is fine, Louisa & I both had headaches within a couple hours.

By the afternoon, it was beeping and giving me 90’s flashbacks to AOL dial up.

Naturally, I had visions of a pipe bursting and flooding the kitchen and destroying the hardwood and causing water damage and pooling so heavily in one spot that the floor caves in. So I convinced Garrett to empty the fridge and freezer and live out of coolers until we can get a repairman out here. It’s kind of like camping! Or what I imagine camping would be like if I were to ever try it.

It was all fun and games until I went to grab my daily smoothie fixings and what was supposed to be my frozen mango was soft and sad.

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of pasta
  • 1 1/2-2 cups of cubed butternut squash
  • 3/4 cup of raw cashews, soaked for a couple of hours + drained
  • 1 cup of unsweetened almond milk
  • 1/2 cup of buffalo sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 7 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 1 tsp. of paprika
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1/2 tsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1/2 tsp. of Italian seasoning
  • 1/2 tsp. of turmeric
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Arugula, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Arrange butternut squash on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with olive oil + S+P
  • Roast 25-30 minutes, tossing once, until roasted
  • In a food processor, blend the cashews
  • Add butternut squash + almond milk + buffalo sauce + garlic + nutritional yeast + paprika + red pepper + dijon mustard + Italian seasoning + turmeric + S+P, blend until smooth
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta to al dente, reserving a lil bit of pasta water
  • Drain pasta + add back to pot with sauce, adding the pasta water if necessary to thin it out + make it saucy
  • Serve warm with some arugula
  • The arugula is really just to make you feel like you are the picture of health despite you eating a vat of pasta rn

Classic Totchos

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It’s time I reveal a secret to you.

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I would prefer to wait until the very last minute, but literally nothing else is going on in my life so here it goes.

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We’re pregnant!!!!

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And not just with tater tots. But a real, live fetus. Growing in my womb. I still can’t believe. We tried for so long and were first class passengers on the fertility struggle bus. This little bit is the biggest blessing of our whole lives!!!! But she is also trying to kill me. I thought girls don’t fight with their moms until they’re like 14??? Who knew it would happen this soon?! Really she’s just making my BP plummet on random occasions and making me feel like I’m going to faint while leading a Zoom call. V professional. Whatever, she’s worth it. But I am adding it to the spreadsheet of all the crap she’s put us through that I plan to whip out and review when she’s being a big ole turd.

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Oh, and fried potatoes are a pregnant girl’s #1 BFF.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • Half a package of frozen tots
  • Cheese sauce from here
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1/2 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1/4 cup of pickled red onions
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • Cook tots according to package directions
  • Meanwhile, prepare cheese sauce
  • Once tots are crisp, scooch them together + top with beans + red pepper + cherry tomatoes + cheese sauce
  • Pop back in the oven at 450 for about 5-6 minutes or the broiler for just a hot minute until cheese has browned a little
  • Top with red onion + cilantro
  • Serve hot
  • Put a whole slop of these into a bowl + just enjoy the tater tot bowl of your dreams