Chocolate Crinkle Cookies

This Christmas season has been one of the most shocking of my life.

Not only did I get the fewest presents I have ever received (but who is counting or complaining),

But I discovered this seemingly universal trend that I am not on board with.

Santa doesn’t wrap presents?????? What kind of absolute malarkey is this? Apparently, he doesn’t have “time” or something, I don’t really know, I tuned out. I just can’t get behind this. Santa ALWAYS wrapped my presents. I’m not saying he did this himself, those elves of his certainly had a hand. & you know Mrs. Claus spends the entire year preparing bows & what not. I just cannot stand seeing photos of people’s Christmas mornings and there are all of these gifts just under the tree all willy nilly! Naked gifts! That’s fewer gifts to unwrap which is literally the most fun part. I’m not budging on this.

My Santa also did little gift tags on my presents that said “to: Rachel from: Santa” & while it is suspicious Santa & my mother had the same handwriting, I respect how well put together the wrappings were.

Time: 45 minutes (prep + baking) | Serves: 12-16 cookies

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of cane sugar
  • 1/3 cup of olive oil
  • 1/3 cup of almond milk
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 1/4 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1/2 cup of cocoa powder
  • 1 tsp. of baking powder
  • Pinch of S
  • Powdered sugar, for rolling

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • In a bowl, combine sugar + oil
  • Add milk + vanilla, stir to combine
  • Add flour + cocoa powder + baking powder + S + combine
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop some dough + rub in powdered sugar, place on lined baking sheet (I used baking mats), repeat
  • Bake for 10 minutes, remove from the oven + let sit on the hot sheet pan a couple more minutes
  • After a few minutes to let them firm up, transfer to a wire rack to cool
  • Calories don’t count in 2021 anymore, eat them all!!!!!

Adapted from here!

Mexican Chili

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Christmas is about Jesus & traditions. Both of which I love dearly.

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The adult Christmas tradition you all should begin this year is that of Mexican food & margaritas.

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Christmas Eve, gather your troops & head to the shadiest Mexican restaurant you can find.

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Once there, order every generic menu item they have. Quesadillas, tacos, burritos, chimichangas, the works! Also, 4 pitchers of margaritas.

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Let the family fun/drama ensue! My Mexican Chili was a warm up for the festivities.

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 3 cans/ears of corn (spicy kinds if you dig that)
  • 2 cans of refried black beans
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 bell peppers, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Pepper jack cheese
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Tortilla chips, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a large, cast iron skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat
  • Add onion + peppers + S+P, cook until soft, about 6 minutes
  • Add garlic + cook for another minute
  • Add corn + heat through, about 3 minutes
  • Add refried black beans + crushed red pepper + chili powder + cumin + S+P
  • Stir well to combine everything, adjust seasoning to taste
  • Top skillet with cheese + bake for 10 minutes
  • Remove + top with cilantro + serve with chips
  • Curl up + eat until you explode

Cauliflower Nuggets

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Anecdote: I got out of high school at 2 p.m. & I had to be at work at 3 p.m. every day. I would leave school, go to Chick-fil-A, order a 12-count of nuggets, medium fries, & a large cookies & cream milkshake. Every effing day. I regret nothing. I was reckless & in my baby fat stage.

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I haven’t had a bad meal since I arrived in Washington, but this place is missing the restaurant chain that built me (Miranda Lambert lyric cred).

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A chain that nourished me with breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks. A place that accepted me in my pajamas and my party dresses. A restaurant that force fed me milkshakes during every breakup. My home away from home with way better food.

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Politics aside, don’t tell me you’ve ever had better chicken nuggets because you would be a big, fat liar. I’m convinced they stuff them with crack. Little crack nuggets.

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I would never try to make my own chicken nuggets because they would pale in comparison & just suck. So I made cauliflower ones. They were crunchy & creamy & yummy & filling??? & light & cute. I don’t care what’s inside. I just think we should all eat more nuggets.

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut in florets
  • 1 cup of seasoned breadcrumbs
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic salt
  • 1 tbsp. of onion salt
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Olive oil, for cooking

How to:

  • Put florets in a microwave safe bowl + add 1/2 cup of water
  • Steam in microwave for 7-8 minutes or until tender enough to mash
  • Squeeze water out of cauliflower + add to a different, large bowl
  • Add 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs + garlic salt + onion salt + red pepper + S+P
  • Heat a tbsp. of olive oil over medium-high heat in a skillet
  • Form cauliflower mixture into nuggets + roll them in other 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs + add to pan one at a time
  • Cook for 2-3 minutes on each side or until desired crispiness
  • Serve with favie dipping sauce + some sweet potato frenchies